


Flight

by bumblebee_tights



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Eventual Romance, F/M, Original Character(s), Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 02:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 73,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12496472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bumblebee_tights/pseuds/bumblebee_tights
Summary: Poe Dameron was the Resistance's best pilot. Each task given, he succeeded greatly with. Time and time again, Poe would return from his missions not only with what he was asked to bring back, but also with more. There was no stopping him. He was practically invincible.But when word of a young girl who'd been missing for years and thought dead is rumored alive, Poe is once again sent out into the unknown and told to rescue the girl and bring her home.No one told him about the dangers he would face.No one told him about the biggest danger of them all. . .Falling in love.





	1. Chapter 1

.: POE :.

I used to believe everything was simple.

I used to believe I could accomplish anything I set my mind to – My Mom instilled that in me when I was young and from then on, nothing could stop me.

I believed in myself.

Others believed in me.

I would never come home empty-handed. In fact, each time I stepped out of my Starfighter, I was greeted with cheers and a thunderous applause.

This mission was supposed to be simple.

It wasn't supposed to take as long as it did – I wasn't supposed to get side-tracked.

Poe Dameron – side-tracked? Distracted? It was irrevocably unheard of.

I was invincible. The mission was supposed to prove that more than I could.

I had no idea that it would put me through the experience it did. I couldn't process it for some time after. I'd lay awake in my bunk at night, staring at a blank and cold ceiling, wondering and questioning and pining.

Why had I volunteered? What did I have to truly prove, if I already was the best pilot the Resistance had? Why had I been so vain and proud and selfish to think I could successfully go save a young girl and bring her home? What made me so impulsive and arrogant to go out on my own without help? Without any sources of safety. Just me, my ship and a droid. 

In all honesty, I think of myself as a sorry ass and someone who was completely out of their mind to do what I did.

I think even more about how stupid I was to believe I could make it back home and to the Resistance without doing the one thing I'd sworn not to do. . .

Fall in love.

Trust me, it wasn't at first sight and it came at me head-strong without warning. It took me a while to realize it. And when I let it in, I suddenly realized how wrong and how selfish it was for me to do that.

It wasn't in my plans. It wasn't what should have happened . . . but it did and soon enough I was running from the one thing that felt right and wrong at the same time.

You see, coming off as strong, as indestructible, as unbreakable and nonperishable – it's lying. It's stealing. It's diminishing to your spirit and soul. You find yourself becoming someone that you're not. You find that instead of it lifting you up, it in fact brings you down to the lowest of lows. You don't gain, you lose. You don't feel good, you feel empty.

I was convicted. I was shown that one should not simply find themselves in what they do; what they win; what they gain and earn. They need to find themselves when they feel the lowest of lows. They need to find themselves with what they have, not what they desire or want. They need to find themselves in the things that bring out the best in them – the things that show the beauty and magnificence and wonders of how breathtaking a world or galaxy can be with someone as small but utterly significant as they are.

I found all of that the hard way – the long way around.

I found it when I was raw, vulnerable, an open book, with nothing to hide. Nothing to hold back. Afraid. Insecure. Hopeless.

I found it in her . . .

When I wasn't supposed to.

It was a mission to save her in the beginning of this story.

In the end, it was a mission to save me.


	2. Poe

.: POE :.

"Hello?"

Static. That's all there was. . . I gripped the controllers, breath shaking as I looked up and around the sky. It was empty, and somehow I'd escaped or hidden myself from whatever was following me. But it didn't help anymore; I was preparing to land and no one seemed to be picking up on that message.

"Yo!" I shouted, trying to get someone on the other end to listen. "I'm about to land this damn thing and no one's picking up!" I tightened my grip on the controllers, causing the x-wing to circle around the base, looking for any sign or permission to land.

I got nothing.

Suddenly, a distant sound –starting off as a low hum, but quickly sounding suspicious broke the barrier of the x-wing. I looked out to my right, eyes widening as smoke billowed out of an engine. My stomach felt a sudden drop as the x-wing violently shook, causing me to press as many buttons as I could without any signs of help before I turned and yelled out to the small white and orange droid who was bleeping away, head turning in all directions, most likely distressed.

"BB-8! I need you to signal the base!" Everything shook; I felt my stomach drop. The x-wing was losing altitude in what seemed to be seconds – maybe even shorter. I clenched my teeth, praying that somehow someone would notice the falling Starfighter – we'd made most of the long journey back without any problems. The minor fight that broke out must have gotten something – it wasn't making its appearance till now.

"You better not go on me now," I muttered nervously. I pressed a button – trying to get the other engine to provide more power. "C'mon, baby. Just a little more and we'll be there . . . just a little more."

I don't know how it happened, but suddenly the static that had seemed to blend in with all the other noises around me, raised high above – a voice barely heard through it, breaking the barrier. I jumped in my seat, the sound and words of another giving me the hope I needed. I spoke loud and clear, knowing they would be able to hear every word I said.

"Attention! I have only one engine on my x-wing working and I need permission to land. . ." I gripped my hands tightly to the controllers as I bit my lip and forced the words out. "I'm losing altitude quickly. I need to know: CAN I LAND?"

"Roger that. . ." A voice simply stated. There was a brief pause before returning. "You are free to land, Dameron."

I wanted to shout. I wanted to holler. The weight and fear of crashing ceased to exist. "WOOO!" I shouted, glancing over at BB-8. "You hear that bud!? We're landing! We made it!" There was a ringing in the cockpit but I didn't focus on that. I prepared to land, watching as the ground and base of the Resistance got bigger and bigger. Closer and closer. As the bumpiness of the landing shook the cabin, almost knocking BB-8 out of his place, I slammed as hard on the breaks as I could, knowing that once I left the confines of this x-wing I would never be stepping another foot into it again. It was toast.

The sound was unbearable. Screeching and shrieking; the engine was smoking black fumes and was overtaking the cockpit that as soon as I lurched open the doors, throwing off my helmet, I coughed out, wrenching and reeling. I bent over, hands resting on my knees. My stomach was churning, bile rising in my throat. The ride and fumes had made my insides churn. I took big breaths, engulfing the air around me that was clean and cool against my skin. I closed my eyes, feeling my pulse quicken and slow, the ringing in my ears disappear, and the blood drain my head. I could barely see out of the corner of my eye, a group of workers making their way over. I lifted my head, getting a better look at them all and straightened up, trying to remain balanced. BB-8 remained in his compartment and I staggered over to him, unlocking the latch and making sure he was placed safely on the ground next to the Starfighter.

"Dameron!" One of the workers called up, reaching out to grab my hand. He was a newer face; someone I hadn't seen around before. "Good to have you back! But you're needed for an urgent meeting. News from General Organa and Colonel Evans."

I climbed down the steps, BB-8 right at my heels as I began pacing down the walkway towards the base. "What's going on?" I put my helmet underneath my arm. My legs were wobbling but I'd managed to stay upright.

The young man shrugged his shoulders. I glanced at the name written on his uniform. Matt. "I don't know. I wasn't given any information . . . Just that once you landed and were on the ground you needed to be transferred straight to the gathering room. Apparently it's some serious news. . . All the commanders were called into meeting."

I nodded my head, accepting the news. "Alright. Anything else I should know?"

Matt shook his head. "No sir. Not even the other commanders and pilots know. They'll be releasing everything in the meeting." He looked at me, smiling. "Did you get what we needed?"

I smirked, pulling out of the tiny suit pocket a small device. Matt gleamed. I handed it over to him, patting his back as we entered through the building doors. "Take it to the examine room – they're probably waiting for it."

"Yes sir!" Matt smiled, turning to go down another hallway. "I'm right on it!"

"Thanks for the help, kid." I lifted an arm, waving to him as he disappeared. The hallway was quiet, probably because of the meeting. If both General Organa and Colonel Evans were meeting with us, it must be serious.

I looked down at BB-8 who'd been following me the entire time. "You better go make yourself useful somewhere else," I commented. "This may be a while."

He replied back, causing me to chuckle as I gave him a little kick, urging him to leave. "Go on now; I'll come get you when I need you."

He rolled away faster than I expected and I turned around, continuing down the hallway, smiling to myself. That droid was like a lost puppy – he somehow always needed instructions when he didn't need them, and rebelled when he did. The question was, could you train a droid like a dog?

My boots made a tapping sound on the floor as I rounded a couple corners, nearing the gathering room. I could hear plenty of voices and sounds on the other side of the walls. As I neared the doors, I paused briefly; knowing that once I entered into the other side there would be a thunderous applause, loud cheering, woots and hollers. I'd made it back. Another successful mission. The thought of my return made walking through those doors a triumphant welcome. The feeling and attention that would soon swarm me was addicting. The feeling of sickness after getting off the x-wing had disappeared. I grabbed the handle on the door almost immediately, before I pushed through and lifted my head to greet everyone inside.

"Hey guys." I returned a smile to everyone, teeth gleaming and smile far from wavering. There was a brief moment of silence, as everyone looked.

Before I knew it, I was getting the greeting I'd expected all along.

The room was chaos. Pilots and commanders were standing, rising to their feet in loud cheers and yells. Fists were thrown in the air; folks were jumping up and down in glee. I bowed slightly, trying my best to stay humble despite the circumstances. To my right, stood General Organa, along with her droid C-3PO and Colonel Evans. Both were smiling, and C-3PO raised his golden arms in delight. With my helmet still tucked under my arm, I walked over to them, shaking hands and smiling.

"Good to have you back, Commander," General Organa smiled, her face alight. "I assume you have what we asked for."

"Indeed I do. I've had one of the workers take it to the examine room. Everything is just as it should be." My reply came easy. I turned to Colonel Evans, once more bestowing my honor to him. "Colonel Evans."

"Good job, Commander." He nodded his head, smiling softly. "Please, be seated where you wish."

I took my leave from the front of the room and walked to the nearest open seat which was a few rows behind the front. Pats on the back and high fives were met as I smuggled my way through a row and sat in between a couple of familiar faces. A couple nods and thank you's later, I finally returned my attention to the front of the room where General Organa stood front and center.

"I know all of you are excited and proud that Commander Dameron made it back to base safely . . ." She paused briefly, allowing one more moment of happiness to sweep across the room. She tucked her hands behind her back, her smile fading, before jutting her chin out and speaking. "But the matters we've come to today are in no way concerned with Dameron's return. What we've received in the past hours have come to my and the Colonel's attention in increasing lengths."

The person in the seat next to mine fidgeted. I looked around the room, noticing how everyone's smiles had left their faces. People sat straight, some nervously fidgeted, and some tried to remain calm. I turned back to look at General Organa who let everything set in for the other commanders and pilots. My fingers thrummed on my helmet, my breathing quickened.

Whatever they were going to tell us – it was more serious than I thought it would be. I forced away the worry in my mind and prepared myself for the worst. Whatever it was, I was going to be ready to take it up.

The Colonel had been hiding behind General Organa for the whole speech. I watched him as he watched her. He looked antsy. Anxious. I peered closer, trying to gain insight just from his physical state. Nothing was proving to be helpful.

I felt a nudge in my side. Turning my head ever so slightly, I noticed the fidgeting pilot glance swiftly over my way. "What do you think it is?" He whispered in a hushed tone. "What's got them wanting us all here if they're making it more serious than it is . . .? Wouldn't the General just want one of us, if it's another mission?"

I leaned closer to the pilot. "Maybe they're trying a new tactic on us."

The pilot snorted, earning a few glances and glares our way. "You're kidding right? I feel they would have told us about that." He shook his head. "I don't know . . . Whatever they're going to tell us better be good. Do you think it has to do with the First Order?"

"I dunno. Possibly." I watched as General Organa continued to speak – she hadn't broken any news yet about why we were here, which made me wonder too.

What was the purpose of this whole meeting?

"Colonel Evens," General Organa spoke, stepping to the side as she let the Colonel stand and take center. "I think there's something you have to tell the crew. . ."

I'd never really talked to Colonel Evans. Never had I really seen him either, other than brief and quick moments in gatherings or important meetings. He was a tall man – slender, with long legs and arms. A greying head and creases in his skin that appeared with the physicality's of his age. His eyes were tired – due to all he'd seen in the recent years; all the death and mourning. The fighting. I understood him to be a very quiet man. He clasped his hands in front of him, letting them remain down. His face showed no emotion. I felt other pilots in the room stiffen, in fear of the worst news that could come.

I sat up a bit straighter in my seat, trying to gain a closer and better look. I watched the Colonel lick his lips, take a breath and waver with his words that seemed hard to speak out. 

Everyone was on edge for what he would say.

The Colonel opened his mouth again – this time he said what he'd been wanting to say all along.

"My daughter . . . has been missing for thirteen years . . ."

Silence that seemed to be eternal settled around us. No hushed tones or whispers from moments before. There weren't any shared looks, or curt nods. Nothing.

The fidgeting pilot stopped moving. His bouncing knee froze. I lifted my head higher, the news suddenly hitting me.

Everyone stared at the Colonel. Even General Organa.

"My daughter has been missing for thirteen years," he repeated again. "And now she has been reported alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! You guys asked for it! Frankly, I was so surprised with the amount of people who wanted Chapter One already that I couldn't resist letting my fingers type away:3
> 
> As I mentioned before, this story will be very loosely based off of Star Wars. Even before the events of the Force Awakens. Since this story of mine will be taking place before TFA I'm kindly asking again for no rude or critical comments about my storytelling and how it's not accurate with the Star Wars timeline. I'm saying it again and again - it's loosely based. Most of the characters other than Leia, Poe, BB-8, C-3PO and others will be of my creation. All the other rights go to George Lucas and the creators of Star Wars.
> 
> I hope you liked this first chapter:) I'm really excited to write this story! Please remember to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW, AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:)
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)


	3. Poe

.:POE:.

I don't know how long we were silent for, but it wasn't for too long. Hushed whispers and voices were breaking through as the news spread around the remainder of the room. Everyone was talking – leaving General Organa and the Colonel in a lone stance. I peered over some shoulders, trying to make sense of why everyone was freaking out. It wasn't until I was nudged by the same fidgeting pilot that I realized why everyone was throwing a fit.

"They want to send one of us to get her? But what if she's not alive? What if this is some trap the First Order is playing on us?" He shook his head as he joined in along with the yelling. "THIS IS RIDICULOUS – THIS IS A SUICIDE MISSION!"

I kept my mouth shut as more pilots and commanders stood up and shouted.

"EVERYONE!" I had never heard General Organa yell like that. Good thing – the whole room went silent again. "This yelling and fighting must stop. The Colonel hasn't even finished what he wanted to say." She placed her hands on her hips. "This mission," she said quieter, "it's not something to be taken lightly. It's not something we expected or thought would ever happen. . ." Her voice faltered and I saw her look at Colonel Evans with sympathy.

"We need one of you to trust this plan," the Colonel cut in. "We need one of you to trust the news we've received. We need someone to go out and risk their life to bring her back."

A few voices nearby swore under their breath. Some others shouted out "Why!?" I ignored it, watching Colonel Evans look down to the floor and back up. " I cannot explain the reason for this mission to all of you. If one of you accepts, I will. Also, the reward, if successful is promising." He stepped back letting General Organa take the center again.

I was confused. What reward?

I stood, knowing other people most likely wouldn't fight to have this opportunity.

Suicide mission they were saying?

"Dameron?" General Organa spoke, her voice rising over others. "Do you have anything to say?"

"Who's the source?" I gripped my helmet. "Who's claiming she was found? That she's alive?"

The Colonel cut in. "An allied source that we cannot tell . . ." He clasped his hands behind his back. "Are you volunteering, Dameron?"

"I- I . . ." My voice faltered. I'd only been back at the Resistance's base for a short while. To be sent out immediately on another mission sounded enervating. I was too proud to sit back down. "I would like more information if that's too much to ask . . . I think that's what everyone else would like too." I looked at the Colonel. "Where is she reported to have been found?"

Colonel Evans looked at General Organa as if he needed permission to answer the question I'd asked. With a curt nod, she let him go forward. The Colonel cleared his throat, trying to remain poised and emotionless.

"Tatooine."

Groans throughout the whole gathering room ensued. I gulped, but stood firm as the Colonel and General Organa continued to watch me.

"Sir, you've said she's been missing for thirteen years? How so?"

"My brother took her there for safety reasons. During the early days with her, he was killed in an accident . . ." he paused, letting his words settle. "I was told no one made it out alive, not even her. Commander Dameron -" His voice shook and I knew he was trying to remain calm. "I've already asked once, but I want to ask you again . . . Are you volunteering?"

It was such a daunting task. Risk my life to travel all the way to Tatooine to bring a girl back to D'qar. But it wasn't just any girl – it was Colonel Evan's daughter and whoever found out she was his daughter, they would use her against us. The First Order had been looking for something to aggravate us – to push us out into the brink of vulnerability. The Colonel's daughter could do that. As I looked at both General Organa and Colonel Evans I knew they could understand what I was thinking. My eyes averted to everyone else in the room. By now, I'm pretty sure everyone knew what I was going to say.

"Yes." I stood straight, my head held high. "Yes. I'm volunteering. I'll bring her back."

I didn't expect the roar of applause to be that deafening. And maybe it was because everyone was excited it was me once again going off on a defying mission and not them. Maybe it was out of relief they weren't randomly chosen to do something that wasn't even necessarily for the Resistance. I mean, this was just a simple task – a simple task that could all the same turn dangerous. And who would want to do something that wasn't in fight for the Resistance? Who would want to die, not chivalrously in battle? It was daunting. Most pilots and commanders bravely went into battle and didn't come back. But they went dying for a reason they were passionate about. Not something small and meager like a rescue mission to bring a random girl back.

I was getting pushed around by the countless bodies that were trying to touch me; and those who were trying to wish me luck and cheer me off. As I looked down to the center of the gathering, I noticed both General Organa and Colonel Evans looking at me. The Colonel's eyes were wide – trying to comprehend that one of the best pilot's in the entire Resistance was risking his life to go save his daughter. Meanwhile, General Organa looked perplexed, shocked, defied; like she was trying to comprehend just like the Colonel, why I would take up this task. I trekked my way through the masses, walking down the steps towards them both. All the while, a feeling in the pit of my stomach began to form, and I couldn't tell you what it was because it was something I'd never really felt before. I couldn't give it a simple title. I couldn't name it. I was confused. I didn't understand how I could agree to something and suddenly feel emotions I hadn't known could exist.

All I knew was that I would not break. I could not break.

I eventually reached both of them. My helmet secured in my hands and my pulse racing. I forced a smile, seemingly charming. "I'm ready to receive any more information you have in terms of your daughter's whereabouts Colonel. It will be my pleasure to take this task up." I reached out my hand to shake his which he took into his and shook greatly. A smile, wider than I'd ever seen, spread across his tired and exhausted face.

"Thank you Commander Dameron." His shake was fierce and tight. "You are doing a huge favor. One I must simply repay you for."

"No need to repay me," I replied. "I'm just doing my job. I'm doing something any one of us would do - for the Resistance of course." I looked to General Organa. "General, lead the way." I motioned to the doors. We'd be heading into more secure and secretive quarters to discuss the journey and plan. "I think we have more to discuss."

Her lips were set in a firm line, but she nodded her head. "Yes." She waved a hand, signaling us to follow her out. "Follow me."

_______

This mission was simple: Leave the next morning. Travel to Tatooine. Find the girl. Bring her home. It was practically self-explanatory but there were also plenty of precautions and warnings that could not be taken lightly no matter what. As the descriptions of the plan wore on and I soaked in all the words and information, I found myself growing anxious. This definitely wasn't like my other jobs. I wasn't out finding some small device or gathering more facts about how we could defeat the First Order. This was a rescue – for someone who had no idea what to expect; who wasn't expecting anyone to come and take her to a place she had no idea existed. She probably couldn't even remember her family, let alone her father who'd been thinking about her for all these years. The thought was mind boggling. So after the short meeting with both the General and Colonel, I was let free to begin my packing for the trip and also allowed time to catch up on the rest that would be needed for the long journey ahead. Rather than flying an x-wing I'd be flying a light freighter. BB-8 would be joining me on the mission as well. At least I'd have some sort of company until the girl was located.

I'd been packing; making sure everything was in check and in order. It seemed just like any other day at Base, but unlike the other pilots out enjoying themselves and celebrating like I would have normally done after a return, I was preparing to leave once again. This journey would take longer, General Organa had told me. I needed to be patient for what lay ahead.

Almost all my supplies had been ready when a knock came at the door. I'd left it cracked open in case anyone was passing through and wanted to stop by. A few pilots had, wishing me luck and the best. No sooner had they left, more people would then trek through. It had been quiet for the past hour or so – the seconds and minutes ticking slowly by. I didn't mind it. I was soaking up all the time I could get before I would leave.

"Dameron." I turned, looking towards the small doorway which General Organa stood at. I hadn't expected to see her at this hour of the night. From the confines of the dark bunk room she couldn't be seen very clearly, but as I stood from the bed and walked cautiously over to the door I saw the details of her face, the color of her eyes, the wrinkles forming on her cheeks, the way she stood waiting to talk. I ran a hand through my hair, standing front and center as I greeted her.

"General Organa."

"Poe," she hadn't used my first name in a very long time. I felt a somber moment approaching. Her arms were folded across her chest; she went from staring at me to staring at the ground. I had no hesitation to make her speak. I didn't want her growing agitated.

We sat in silence for a few more moments until she finally looked up from where she'd been staring, into my eyes. Hers were glassy – but maybe it was with her age and the way it looked under the dim lights. I never really knew.

"Poe . . ." she began again, "you're the best pilot this Resistance has ever seen. I've put my complete faith and trust into you to be successful on missions – but this . . ." Her voice audibly shook. "This isn't a mission for the Resistance, Poe. I know it feels like one; but it isn't. This is a mission for a man to reconnect with his daughter – and I don't want you to think that I'm not happy you volunteered . . . I'm proud you did. You showed so many of those pilots and commanders true bravery and honor." General Organa's gaze never broke from mine. "But what I'm trying to say is this: You're not doing this for me; you're not doing this for the sake of the galaxy. You're doing it because you feel it's the right thing to do . . . and that in itself shows me how much you care for, and how passionate you are about a simple cause such as this. It shows me that you don't back down – with whatever you're sent out to do. You don't give up Poe – and you never give yourself a break . . . One of these days you may have to do that."

Her words hung in the air as I absorbed them. I was speechless. I didn't know how to react – I didn't know what to say. It wasn't every day the General went around passing out kind words or compliments by mouth. Ever since I'd showed up at the Resistance – working my way up to where I was today, I'd always wanted to prove myself to her. And maybe it was because of the stories I'd heard about her growing up and how brave and passionate and honoring she had been deemed. Maybe it was because she was in heart a Skywalker and a Skywalker by blood was not to be messed with. I didn't know. But what I did know was that General Organa was a woman I would forever look up to. Someone who taught me to fight with chivalry and grit and frenzy.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she held up a hand, stopping me. "Don't speak. There's nothing I want you to say – I just wanted to tell you what I believe." The corners of her eyes wrinkled, the hint of a smile barely playing on her lips. She reached out a hand and touched my arm, comfort flowing through. "Just get Colonel Evans' daughter. Bring her home. . . And bring yourself too. Be careful. Keep your eyes open. When you come back, I have a mission planned in mind that's specialized just for you." She took a step back, disappearing into the hallway. "Get some sleep, Dameron." Back to last name terms. "You've got a long journey ahead of you."

I don't know how long I stared out into the dark hallway, rethinking the words General Organa had just spoken. But soon enough, it was my own voice carrying out into the silence and I worried it was too late for her to hear. That I was simply speaking into nothing; into thin air.

"What's her name?" My voice rasped out. "Colonel Evans' daughter's, I mean." I leaned against the door frame. "What's her name? You never told me in the meeting with the Colonel . . ."

I knew she was there. I could feel her presence; I could tell she was contemplating telling me – possibly wanting me to figure that out for myself once I set out. But maybe she thought just a simple answer was enough help for now.

"Maia." General Organa's voice came out soft. Soothing. Like a whisper. She stepped from the shadows and produced out of her pocket a small, crumpled photograph handing it to me. "You may need this on your trip, just so you can identify her properly and correctly." I looked down at it – a black and white photo of a young girl who couldn't have been more than eight with what looked to be brown hair and eyes. A toothy grin and dimples at the corners of her lips. This photo was years old – thirteen or more if she'd been missing for that long.

So there was no way I would be looking for a girl.

I'd be looking for a woman.

I looked at General Organa, not knowing what my expression was. She just stared back and repeated the same thing she'd said moments prior.

"Her name is Maia."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter so as always make sure to COMMENT, VOTE, FOLLOW, AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:)
> 
> Holly.


	4. Poe

.: POE :.

BB-8 was missing.

Well, maybe not missing. It was by choice. I hadn't found him wandering Base since I'd woken up. On many occasions this would happen – he'd find out when and where we'd be sent on a mission and by disappearing, it only concluded to me he had no intentions of going or being found. Usually, it was C-3PO who would come calling, saying he found the droid located at some ridiculous part of the Base and it would take me time to trek all the way out to where he was and drag him back. After many attempts at pricking and prodding and kicking and bleeping, we'd make it the loading zone of Base and eventually be on our way.

I'd been wandering the hallways, eventually being called on by C-3PO to join him in the commons where he'd seen BB-8 go into hiding. I'd woken up earlier that morning, not getting much sleep the night before. I laid awake in my bed, staring at the blank ceiling, thoughts swirling and mixing and jumbling in my head. Strategies and plans – tactics to ideas – each plan had to be secure and possible. Nothing far-fetched. I couldn't risk Colonel Evans' daughter's life or my own. The General herself had left me wondering for the remainder of the night prior after she'd left. Her words were repeating themselves, especially the ones concerning a mission after I returned home from this one. 

I'd heard rumors but wasn't necessarily sure about General Organa holding a search for her brother Luke. He'd disappeared long ago with no message or word about where he was headed. As well as no clues to where he could be found. The General wasn't one to overly describe and talk about her brother. She was reserved and didn't boast about his powers and famous name. In joining the Resistance, many folks wondered about the mysterious Skywalker. And if the rumors were true about the General planning a search to find Luke, was that the secret mission she wanted me to take on? My parents had known him – worked with him. And he'd given my Mom a force-sensitive tree at our house on my home planet, Yavin 4. I grew up with that tree. I'd grown up with the stories of Luke and heard about the tragedy that took place when he was training the new generation of Jedi. If the General was sending me on a mission to possibly find her brother, there was no way in hell I'd decline the offer.

After retrieving BB-8, I headed back to the bunk room to collect the rest of my belongings I'd be taking on the trip. It was a small pack, but nonetheless held what was most needed to get by. I slung the pack over my shoulder, making sure nothing was going to be left behind and stalked over to the door, closing it behind me as I entered the empty hallway. The long corridor that went left would lead to other bunk rooms and areas of the Base. I turned right, heading for the flight deck.

I made my way down the hall, the sound of my boots stomping on the metal floor. I rounded a corner suddenly seeing the flight deck doors in sight. BB-8 was following closely, his little noises signaling to me that he wanted me to slow down. I craned my neck, looking down at the little droid and smiled.

"C'mon, pal. It'll be fun. Don't argue with me."

He replied back, forcing a laugh to erupt from my lips.

"If you keep up with that attitude, you'll be sitting in the-"

"Commander, Dameron?" The voice of Colonel Evans broke the conversation between BB-8 and I. I lifted my head, glancing behind and noticed him, standing off to the side, hands placed at his sides. He still looked awkwardly gangly and thin. He had been wearing the same face of worry for the past day. I wondered if he got any sleep the night before.

"Yes, Colonel?" I fully turned my body towards him. "Is there something you need?"

Colonel Evans took a couple steps forward, suddenly seeming shy and quiet. He stammered, producing jumbled words but managing to push out the sentence of, "Are heading to your ship?"

I nodded my head, politely answering him. "Yes, Sir. I'm on my way right now. I had to collect my droid and some other supplies."

"Oh." The Colonel took another step closer. "Well, may I walk you out then?"

"Of course," I said. I looked from him to BB-8 and back again. "This way."

We walked in silence for a couple moments. The only sound that could be heard was of the other pilots, and soldiers roaming the halls and rooms and the tapping of boots on the floor. The flight deck doors drew nearer and nearer. With the Colonel still at my side, I remained steadfast. I would wait for him to speak. I didn't want to be disrespectful.

Finally, "You're mother – she was a pilot for the Alliance to Restore the Republic, yes?"

I nodded my head. "Yes. She was."

"Your father too?"

"No sir. He worked for the Alliance to Restore the Republic but he was a sergeant." We walked through the double doors stepping into the sunlight and onto the flight deck. It was a busy day, I could already tell. The weather was mild – not too hot and not too cold. The trees around the perimeter of the Base rose high, like skyscrapers, and swayed gently in the calm wind. The sky was etched out with small cumulous clouds as the blue sky shone through. As we walked along the deck, the Colonel continued to ask me questions which I answered without hesitance.

"So you followed in your mother's footsteps then?"

"Yes Sir. She was a strong woman, someone who fought brave and hard." I snuck a glance at him before going on. "She taught me to fly when I was young . . . although she passed away when I was eight." Up ahead, the light freighter was in view. I picked up the pace, excited to move forward.

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

"Oh no, don't apologize. She was a tough woman." I looked at him, cracking a smile. "The woman taught me to fly and also taught me to not give up on a fight or back down. Let's just say I don't break easily."

"Well that's a very good trait to have." The Colonel smiled back. "I guess you better be on your way then, I presume?" He placed his arms behind his back, hidden from my sight. "You have a long flight ahead of you."

"Indeed, I do," I chuckled. "But it shouldn't bother me that much." I looked down at BB-8. "This one has a temper – if provoked. So we might have some problems."

BB-8's head swiveled to look at me and he produced the small little lighter in his compartment. I could only tell what he was trying to get across.

"Oh, piss off and go to the ship where you need to be." I pointed a finger his way. "And don't cause any problems, or so help me God I'll . . ."

He understood and sped off in seconds towards the ship. The Colonel and I watched him go, observing.

"You have a good droid in your hands. Intelligent and smart." He looked at me. "Don't lose it."

"Yeah. He's a damn good droid – just sometimes doesn't listen well enough." I huffed, hoping he'd get the joke. Seeing he didn't, I spoke again, grinning. "Well, Colonel – next time you see me, it will be right here at Base, with your unharmed daughter." I reached out my hand, waiting for him to shake it. Instead, he stared at it, which I removed my glove from solely for the reason for him to firmly shake back. When he looked back up at me his eyes were glassed over. I could barely see his bottom lip quivering. His eyes – pale blue yet almost grey, were dull and sickly. His skin was paler than before. Maybe it was because I hadn't noticed much in the gathering room and secret meeting but standing in front of him, with nothing in my way to block, I noticed how small, frail and fragile he was. I swallowed a lump in my throat, forcing myself to speak, but he cut in before I could say anything else and took my hand in his, the grasp tight and clenching.

"Simon," he said softly, quietly. "Please. Call me Simon."

"I'm not sure I'm allowed to call you that, Sir." My voice went low; I looked around the loading zones, seeing everyone was busy at work and business. My eyes met back with his. "You're the Colonel. That's what I will call you."

"I insist you call me Simon," he hissed, his eyes pleading and voice yearning. "Please. As an order, you will call me Simon."

I was hesitant, but I nodded my head. Glancing down at the ground, I stared at my feet, then to BB-8 who stood near the freighter and stuck out his needle flame again – this time igniting a signal of "thumbs up". I chuckled. Then, looking back at the Colonel, I smiled nodding my head and shaking his hand again.

"Okay. As you wish, Simon."

"Thank you." He smiled gently. "There's one more thing I'd like you to do, when you bring my daughter back, Poe." He'd never used my first name before. I stood up taller and straighter, knowing that this conversation was getting personal for him. He hadn't said much in the meeting with General Organa and me last night. Maybe he was saving it for this moment, so that whatever he had to say was just between the two of us.

"Anything." I urged him to continue. "Whatever you want – I'll make sure it happens."

Simon's smile was still plastered on to his face, but it faltered as he opened his mouth to speak. I didn't want to rush him. Whatever he had to say – whatever he would order me to do on this mission, I would follow through to the best of my ability. I would not fail him.

"Just-" He cut himself off, stuttering. "Just. . . just don't-" He looked me straight in the face. "Just don't tell her. Don't tell Maia about me – I don't want her to know . . . Maybe she won't even remember, and if she doesn't then don't say anything. But if she does . . . well . . . Just let her know she's going to be somewhere safe, alright?"

His request was strange, but I didn't press for reason. I simply would follow the orders he told me, and make sure nothing would change that. "You got it Colonel – I mean Simon," I fixed myself, coughing. "I won't say a word."

He sighed with relief. "Thank you, Poe." He clasped a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. It's the least I could do." I noticed the workers and engineers standing near the freighter were finishing their last minute operations. That meant take off would be soon. I looked back to Simon, noticing he had not broken his eyes away from me.

Simon shook his head. His smile remained weak and by now I was beginning to worry about why he was acting so strange. "No, Poe. It's the most you can do."

It had been a while since I'd flown a ship as big as the light freighter. It was a YT-1300p. Once I was boarded, I made sure everything was intact; BB-8 was where he was needed to be and then I double checked to make sure the Base was ready for me to take off. I didn't need a helmet for once, but I brought it anyway. It sat in the small empty seat right of mine. I took a deep breath, placing my hands on the controllers. I could hear BB-8 bleep something from where he was situated behind me.

"Yeah, bud. I'm ready too." I turned and glanced back at him. He remained tucked in and safe inside a little compartment, his head sticking out. "I'll make sure to let you out when I can set the ship on cruise control – we have a long ride, so you'll be able to roll around the cabin wherever you want – as long as you don't cause any trouble!"

His reply was short. Quick. I rolled my eyes and turned to look out of the cockpit noticing how a crowd was growing off to the side of the Base. In the front were both General Organa and Simon. The General looked stern; strong. Her arms were folded neatly across her chest, her lips set in a firm straight line. I could tell by the look on her face that she was thinking; wondering . . . even hoping that this plan would work. Next to her was Simon; and he looked the same as he was the couple moments I had with him before I boarded the ship.

I wondered how he would be once his daughter was back home.

I took one more glance at the planet of D'qar. The lush greenery, the overcast sky, the dewy air and rain that fell on the colder nights; the hot sun and bright skies of the warmer days that always held a breeze, making it just the perfect temperature. I was headed for dehydration and drought; dry and hot. Tatooine would be hard to navigate, but with the supplies and maps I had been given for aide, I knew I'd be able to make it there and around the planet.

I turned the engine on, the freighter suddenly coming to life in an array of swooshing sounds. I felt rumbling, a familiar, soft hum. Everything was just as it was.

As it was supposed to be.

The ship was lifting into the air. I made sure everything was working properly, just in case something was to happen or go wrong. As we gained altitude, the people on Base and the Base itself got smaller and smaller. The trees began blending in together – making a collage of different colors of green. The water – blue and unmoving loomed below us. The Base now was a small speck. I felt my heart pound, the blood run through my veins. Each time I took off to a fight or a mission, I would always experience the same feeling each time I left base and flew off: Adrenaline, anxiety, excitement, the wonder and awe of venturing into the galaxy, into the great unknown. I awaited it each time I took off; I yearned for it when I was on the ground. And I took it all in when I was in the moment.

We were leaving the atmosphere, rising higher. D'qar was shrinking. Home was becoming a distant place. But it didn't stop me.

I flipped a switch and suddenly the speakers were on – a familiar guitar sound came through the speakers and a low voice began to sing. I closed my eyes, biting my lip as I soon began to croon along quietly and felt myself become lost in everything around me.

"Standing in the rain, with his head hung low . . . couldn't get a ticket, it was a sold out show . . ."

The journey was just starting. I was ready for anything that would be coming our way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh the journey is just starting people!!!! Are you as excited as I am!? :D
> 
> Well if you are, let me know! VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW, ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:) You're support means the world and it keeps these fingers typing away and writing chapters! hehe
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter - things will be picking up pretty soon after this, I can tell ya that . . . so be prepared;)
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)


	5. Poe

.:POE :.

It took us time. There were moments where my eyes would blur, my hands would cramp and the only thing I wanted to do was sleep. I would update the Base – letting them know the progress of the journey and estimate how much farther we had till we reached Tatooine. All the while, I went over multiple times, the plans I'd constructed; Maia wasn't going to be easy to find. And help would be something I'd only search for if I direly needed it. Ultimately, this mission was going to take precision and time. Effort and patience. It was up to me if I'd be willing to hang on to those attributes.

I had put the ship in autopilot and had gone to get some well-deserved sleep. BB-8 was in charge of making sure nothing came in contact with us and we were still cruising at a sensible pace. My eyes had shut quickly and I was soon succumbed to the infinite world of darkness and corrupted dreams. I'd been facing nightmare's in recent times. My world was plagued by images of disaster, war, loss and death and I had no idea why. I'd wake up soaking wet and drenched in my own sweat; my heart would be pounding, the sound of it quaking my ear drums. My hands would be shaking; I couldn't keep them steady. It was strange. I'd never faced much fear in combat or fighting. Normally it was a breeze and I was able to return back home to Base alive and invigorated by the battle. But most recently it was nightmares – and not like my memories of battle. They were more futuristic – almost foreshadowing. And that's why I feared silently, quietly. I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want to know what the dreams meant. I wanted to forget them.

I must have been sleeping for some time. BB-8 came rushing into the room, bleeping with what seemed to be sheer excitement. I lifted my head from the small bunk, peering over the edge. My head throbbed, my skin was clammy. I'd had a nightmare earlier and had fallen back to sleep.

"What is it bud?" I reached out a hand, patting the cool exterior of him. He replied earnestly, my confusion turning to understanding as a smile tore across my face and I was leaping out of bed – throwing on my leather jacket and sliding on my pants.

"We're there already?" I left the bunk room, jogging down the hallway and towards the cockpit. BB-8 followed closely at my heels, continuing his rampant speech about how we needed to land before anything else happened and we were suspiciously interrogated by another ship or possibly a smuggler.

"Oh hush," I stopped him. "Nothing's gonna happen. I know we'll be alright." I entered in to the cockpit, gazing out towards the large desert planet. We were entering into the atmosphere. We'd be landing fairly soon.

"Alright bud, let's land this ship and get searching; we don't know how much time we're going to really have, are we?" I pressed a button beginning the descent. The freighter suddenly lurched down, causing a dropping in my stomach. I settled further into the seat, making sure we weren't going excessively fast. We'd need to be subtle about where we would be landing and how. If we landed near a town, the freighter would be seen and most likely stolen. If we landed in the city, someone who was an ally of the First Order could easily contact them, notifying them and causing reason to attack the planet. The notion of landing in the middle of nowhere wasn't exciting. It would be a long walk to the nearest town and into the city. And hopefully, no travelers would come across the freighter either. I was risking much in doing this.

The planet seemed practically desolate. I tried to find a set of dunes that seemed deep enough to land the freighter. This was going to be harder than I thought. I glanced at BB-8. "See anywhere we could land?"

He replied, urging a good idea.

"You know, sometimes I really appreciate your help and then other times I wonder why I even ask you." I chuckled, pulling the levers and forcing the ship to dive further.

BB-8 swiveled his head, sending another reply my way.

"You're right. We both balance each other out, and we work well together." I smiled at him. "I can't exactly get rid of you when I don't want to, can I?"

We were gaining speed, falling lower and lower. Closer and closer. The sand was becoming distinct; the sun was starting to make its presence much known. Despite being inside the ship, I could already feel a hint of sweat clamp to my skin; the air inside the cockpit became humid.

A small group of sand dunes, located to the left farther from a small town which could be seen seemed the best place to the land. Based on my estimates, it was the late afternoon. There would be no hesitation or waiting till the next day, I'd begin my search the moment my feet hit the sand.

The freighter shook, BB-8 fell out of the seat next to mine. He went rolling down the hall.

"BB-8, hold on!" It was bumpy; my hands pressed multiple buttons as I tried to smooth the landing.

A squeal came from the back of the freighter, and I realized he wasn't entirely keen on landing.

"You can hide all you want! We're still getting out of this ship!"

To say the very least, the landing was bumpier than expected. I didn't realize sand could be the cause for it, because the initial thought of sand was soft, grainy and warm. The freighter lurched forward almost parking exactly where I'd planned, a little angled, but still hiding in the valley of small dunes. I sat in the cockpit for a brief moment, my breathing heavy and my hands still gripping the levers. BB-8 was whizzing around the freighter, I could hear the stumbling and rolling sounds. I ran a hand through my hair, blowing out a breath of air, trying to get a sense of ease.

We were finally here.

I grabbed a small speaker, pressing a couple buttons and the right co-ordinates to contact the Base. My voice calmed, steadied as I spoke into the phone.

"Attention: This is Commander Poe Dameron. I have now landed on the planet of Tatooine and have plans to start searching for the Colonel's daughter right away. I will be in contact with information as soon as I can. If something comes up, it is my hope that my droid will contact for help or any other service. He is a BB-unit. Orange and white . . ." I paused, taking a breath. "I presume this mission will go as planned and there is nothing to worry about. I will log in again when I have more news. Commander out."

It was silent after, even my breathing quiet. I stared at the small speaker, hoping whoever received the call on Base would inform the General and Simon about my whereabouts and plans. Whatever happened next would be up to me – if not me, than God save us all because the mission would fall into my droid's hands.

"BB-8!" I called out, earning a whirl of profound excitement whizzing into the cockpit. I turned, jumping out of the seat, straightening my jacket and grinning. "Let's take a look at Tatooine shall we? . . . what can be so bad about it?"

The droid spun around, I stalked passed it, heading towards the front doors and pressing the button that would release the platform. A whooshing sound erupted from the ship, the platform slowly lowering to the ground and causing more hot air to enter. I stepped out towards the platform, my boots sounding on the metal which gleamed from the sun's brightness. My tread was steady, BB-8 rolled along, humming. Each step, my eyes seemed to squint more. A sheen of sweat began to form on my head, and I longed to remove my jacket.

"Oh, goodness." I placed a hand over my forehead, blocking the sun from my face. "That's a lot of sand."

I walked down the platform, BB-8 following closely behind. The steep dunes seemed to be much larger than I had anticipated. It would be a steep and long climb to the other side.

We reached the bottom. BB-8 pressed, causing me to glance down at him. "What is it? Is there something you need to tell me?"

He swiveled his head fast, earning a nod from me. "Alright then, what is it then?"

He opened a small compartment from himself, producing a small piece of paper. I reached down, grabbing it and unfolding it slowly. "What is it? A note from the General or Simon?"

There was no need for BB-8 to answer. I'd opened the note, instantly reading the words that stretched out across the paper in a small, cursive and scrawl-like handwriting. My eyes widened, taking in each of the words and bits of information that seeped from the letter. Upon finishing, I glanced down at the little orange and white droid, my mind racing with questions, observations and wonder.

"Where did you get this?" It was almost a hiss. I didn't know whether to be mad at the droid or not. The letter was informative, but at the same time, it seemed forbidden for my eyes to read.

BB-8 merely shook his head, a small sigh seeming to come from him. Guilty, maybe but also knowing he was quite helpful nonetheless.

"This wasn't for me to see, BB-8." I pressed further. "Where did you get this?"

He was quiet for a couple moments, and I couldn't tell if he was too scared to say anything or if he didn't know how to answer. I gave him the look I always gave when he seemed to be taking things out of proportion; he'd get a little shaky, look from left to right and behind. He'd try to ignore or forget.

Not this time.

The answer came. He rapidly responded. I soaked in the information, trying to get every last word.

"Maz Kanata?" I looked at BB-8 who acknowledged me with more bleeps. "You mean to tell me that Maz Kanata was the allied source the Colonel and General Organa couldn't tell us about?" I shook my head. "But how? Maz hasn't left her castle in forever – how could she have gotten word or sight of Maia's existence?" I shook my head, standing up. "It doesn't make sense . . . I mean . . ." My voice carried off as I looked out into the expanse of the desert. Sand flew, spun and drifted as wind carried it. Around us, was mostly bare landscape, but you could see out in the distance, over the dunes, distinct buildings of the city. I'd eventually be making my way over there – but first I'd be exploring the small town nearby, searching for some clues of Maia's whereabouts. I mean, most of Tatooine seemed inhabitable other than the small cities and towns located within short distance of one another. To trek out into a desert abyss alone was practically suicide.

My thoughts wandered, negatively.

What if Maz saw Maia in her vision? Walking away into the desert? What if her vision was false? What if this was all the First Order and they were tricking us so they could hit us at our weakest? Destroy us and our hope to wipe them out?

I shook my head – forcing the thoughts away. I wouldn't let those overtake me. Looking down at BB-8, I figured now was the time more than ever to discuss our plan. I knelt down low, my knees bending, as I swiped a hand along his little body.

"Alright Pal, here's the game plan: You stay here and guard the ship. Don't let anyone mess with it or you. If they do – you know what you have to do to make them stop or go away. You have the supplies you need if you must contact me – but make it just for emergencies . . ." I watched his head swivel, a sign that he was agreeing, even adding a few extra ideas. I chuckled. "Alright, good. That sounds like a pretty darn great Plan B." I looked him over; making sure he himself was intact and pristine. "You look good – nothing should be wrong. I'm just going to find the nearest town and start my searching there. I shouldn't be long. But if anything happens and I don't come back within the slotted time, you send a message to the Resistance. Okay?"

He replied quickly. Head swiveling, bleeping, lights flashing. I smiled, standing and giving him one last pat. "Glad to know we're on the same terms."

BB-8 responded gently, watching me as I grabbed what I could from the ship and soon began walking far out into the desert. I looked back once more, sending a wave to him. I knew he could still see me – even for miles after and I'd been walking for what felt like hours. It was only until the sun went down and I'd reached a small town outside of the main city that darkness overwhelmed the sky and BB-8 had most likely retreated into his quarters on the ship. The town was quiet, not many creatures and folks were out. I tried to stay near the shadows, hoping anyone wouldn't deem me suspicious and report me. I needed to get somewhere I couldn't be spotted. Until I made some truces with trustworthy allies, I was on my own, fending for myself. I swore and oath to the General, Colonel and the Alliance. I would not get caught.

It was deathly quiet, and I'd realized all too soon that I'd landed too far away. The walk here had taken too long, causing any hope of beginning my searches today unlikely. A small sand storm danced nearby, causing a tent to flap wickedly. I glanced towards the tent noticing a small canvas and table under it. Behind the table, a motion shook. A soft quiet sound caved.

My heart lurched, and I crouched further into the shadows, hoping whatever it was hadn't spotted me. I pulled out a blaster, clutching it to my chest inside my leather jacket. The wind blew, pushing sand everywhere. I moved with the sound, hoping the slap of my shoes on the ground gave no significance to my presence. Trying to get a better look at whatever sat behind the table, I moved further out, my breath held and my clench on the blaster tighter than ever. I looked around; no one else or no other living thing seemed to be anywhere near. Just I and whatever stood behind that table and canvas.

It was now or never. I had to do something. To either protect myself or possibly make an ally.

It all happened so fast. I felt my feet suddenly jump, my blaster come out of my jacket and I pointed it towards the table. My eyes searched, my free hand came out in front of me forming a fist. I flipped over the table, suddenly landed feet first and shoved the blaster straight into whatever was hiding, hand on the trigger ready to fire unless otherwise. Darkness hovered. My breath came out in gasps as sweat trickled down my back. I realized, water was something I craved – I'd been so distracted by everything else I hadn't realized how parched I was. But I shook away the distractions. I let my eyes focus. Suddenly a familiar sound could be heard, a small light appeared. I forced my eyes to look harder.

Bleeping; well at least slow and quiet.

It was a droid. Dirty, practically torn apart. A red light flickered vaguely. My brows furrowed and I ran a sweaty hand along its side.

A droid. Droid's could help . . . if this one wasn't willing, it would be easy to put out of its misery.

I placed a finger to my lips, shushing it. "Shhh, don't worry. I'm not going to do anything." My voice was hushed. I crouched lower to its height. "I need your help . . ."

It was a slow reply, barely audible. The droid was trying to say something, but I interrupted instantly.

"I'm looking for a girl," I whispered to the droid. I bent low on my knees, hoping the dark sky and the canvas hanging over the table top would keep me hidden. "I'm looking for Maia. . . Her name is Maia." Sweat dribbled down my back, my body ached. The heat from earlier in the day was unbearable. I was parched, dehydrated. I wanted to give up already.

The droid bleeped back, something I couldn't understand. I shook my head, worry settling in as my knees shook and my thighs burned with pain. I had to stay kneeling, hiding. No one could see me. It was too risky.

I licked my chapped lips. "C'mon, you have to help me." The droid was of no use. It was probably running on its last days, no help to give, nothing to spare. Its light flickered. I hung my head, completely lost with what to do.

The mission seemed like it would never end. Who knew how long I'd really been gone or how long the Resistance would wait. Simon was eager to see his daughter. If the words that had been sent from Maz Kanata were actually true, it shouldn't have taken this long already. My patience was dwindling; my fear of being caught rose. Anxiety threatened to take me by its hands and shake me till there was nothing left but insanity.

Maybe my mind was playing games on me. Maybe I was thinking hopelessly and like this because I had little to eat or drink. I wasn't one to back down easily. I wasn't one to give up quickly.

I yearned for food and water. My throat was dry, my voice practically gone. I had been walking for hours prior.

My head throbbed and I wondered to myself why I had ever chosen to take this mission up. I was far from my freighter and had little desire to begin the long trek back to it. BB-8 would be wondering where I was. If I returned to the Resistance, it would be the first time I came back empty-handed.

The night was quiet. I held my breath as I peered over the table, glancing out into the desert. Tatooine was a dry landscape. There weren't many places I could go to and hide for the remainder of the evening. Even then, the thought of leaving the next morning pushed me overboard. I wouldn't return empty handed. I'd return with the girl.

No matter how long it took me, I'd make my name known.

I would become the best pilot and sergeant for the Resistance there ever was.

I just needed to bring back a girl. How hard could that really be?

I stood up, knowing it was safe. It was best if I found a quiet place to rest for the night – I'd head back to the freighter and BB-8 the next morning. Hopefully the droid wouldn't head out searching for me and would just stay put. He was smart enough to not risk both our lives but his impulses sometimes took the best of him.

I stumbled through the darkness, searching the small wreckage of the tents nearby, hoping someplace would be suitable enough to rest my head and weary eyes. Nobody would be coming out at this time of night – I'd have to leave early in the morning before anyone else came out to examine the tent though and discover me with it. Until it felt safe enough to explore openly and without the fear of being recognized as someone apart of the Resistance, I'd have to keep everything about me and my motives to myself and no one else.

It was getting colder, and a shiver ran up my spine as a cool gust of wind swept through the tent, sending it flapping and blowing. I crawled under a small space; hoping sand wouldn't sneak its way in. The small fortress blocked the wind and sand, thankfully, and I curled up into a fetal position, glancing at the tight and cornered surroundings. It was dark, the top of the tent rising high above. I could hear the wind outside as it shook everything within. A small hole was located closely to my right. I'd crawl out that way and go unnoticed in the morning.

With nothing much more to do but sleep or wait, I attempted to lie down. The sand was soft enough, providing just the smallest amount of comfort for me to become even drowsier than I was before. My eyelids drooped, my mouth hung agape. I took off my jacket, laying it across me to get warm. The constant flapping of the tent and howling wind was lulling my tired and sore body to sleep. No matter how hard searching and walking had been today in the desert; and no matter how badly the idea of giving up sounded so good in this moment of pain; and no matter how all signs, clues and traces of Maia pointed towards nothing; no matter how long it took to get here; no matter what BB-8 had said about Maz Kanata being the reliable source and answer to Maia's whereabouts; no matter how my stomach grumbled in hunger, my body shook from cold and pain and sweat and exhaustion; no matter what, I'd finish the job. I'd fulfill what I came to do, and bring back what I was supposed to.

I couldn't give up now.

If it took me days, weeks, months, even years . . . I would not stop searching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Poe has officially made it to Tatooine:D . . . BUT! We've also seen what seems to be a weakness of his . . . I wonder what it could be:3
> 
> COMMENT. VOTE. FOLLOW. ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS!
> 
> I will try to update on my weekly basis and if not more, but school and work is keeping me busy, so please be patient. Meanwhile, comment your theories and ideas! I'd love to know what you all are thinking! Who knows!? Maybe you'll even be right;)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Things will be picking up very soon!!!
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)


	6. Poe

.: POE :.

I went looking the next morning. In the cramped corners of the tent, I had been woken by a sudden clanging coming from the outside. I'd managed to sneak out, noticing how the sun was still rising over the long desert plane. It was only dawn, but everyone seemed to be up.

My body was sore from discomfort, and sand had somehow found its way into my hair as I shook it out. Around me, everyone was setting up for the day; placing their items out or bringing out food to sell. I figured the town was a marketplace. Most everyone in the city and around came to visit to sell, or buy food and other items that could be of use or desire.

I was making my way towards a small shack that I could hide behind when my stomach grumbled and a sudden headache tore its way through me. I grabbed my head, urging the pain to stop and swallowed saliva to cure the growling in my stomach. But it was no use. I'd gone without food and water all of yesterday and so far today. If I didn't get something soon, and fast, I'd starve.

I turned away from the shack, heading back towards the marketplace and meandered through the rows and rows of tables; it was cramped and stuffy, filled with creatures and humans alike, pushing their way through; bribing to one another to get a bargain; eating, drinking, watching. I purchased a small loaf of bread at a nearby table. A water hole sat a few paces to the left. After purchasing the bread, I grabbed some water, which despite the foul and dirty taste to it, was better than nothing. My lips were cracked and dry, my mouth felt like sandpaper. The sun had been beating down since the early hours of the morning, and from the walk yesterday, my skin and face were blotchy and burnt red. Just a soft touch stung, causing my whole body to cramp in discomfort.

I felt miserable, knowing I should have brought more than just my blaster and the mere jacket on my back. What had I been thinking, to start out straight away and not bring any supplies? This mission was already starting out harder than I thought it would be.

I got up from the water hole, the bones in my body cracking as they stretched. I hungrily bit into the loaf of bread, gazing around me at the scene and setting that unfolded. There wasn't much in this little town other than the small yet congested market and tents that stayed perched up day and night. A few rows of houses were located to the far left. A bar sat across from most of the bogus near the tents. Many humans and creatures were found trolling in through the small doorway and soon out of sight. Any attempt to follow a certain someone would be diminished. You were playing a game of "I spy" in this mess. Except you never found what you were looking for.

Walking around the tents, I subtly tried looking for any sign of Maia. Sure enough, there were no hints or clues. If I happened to be peering over a table too far, or if I glanced inside a specific tent, I'd be chased out like the other small creatures that tried to pick-pocket or steal. After some time, I figured searching those areas wasn't going to do me any good. Nor was the part of spending another night in the dark corners of one a good idea either. I resorted to searching in other areas of the market and figured if by a certain time of the day there was still no sign or clues of Maia, I'd head back to BB-8 and the ship and plan to visit the city the next day.

I'd managed to make my way towards the back of the market which had somehow been overtaken by the crowds when I saw her. She sat perched near the shadows. Face huddled behind a dark cape, so that only the slight pale skin of her cheek shone from behind. If you had been like all the others – going back and forth, from one table to the next, in and out of the bars, bantering with the neighbor, or pitching up a new tent near a friend – you wouldn't have spotted her. She blended in fairly well, but to searching eyes she stood out like a sore thumb. I stared out towards her, knowing somehow and someway she could be of assistance. So far, there had been no signs of Maia anywhere in the town. No clear signals of her presence. The hunched woman in the corner – she had to know of something. Someone like her didn't necessarily belong in a place like this dump.

I forced my way through the crowds, shoving some off to the side, or pardoning my way through. I'd somehow come off as just any other creature or human on this planet somehow. No one – well so it seemed – had recognized me, or who I was working for. There were so suspicions I was being watched, no one I had felt was allies with the First Order. As I made my way closer and closer to the hunched woman, I felt an eerie sense that she was someone who held information. Information I needed desperately.

I had to know who she was.

She noticed me first. I'd barely made my way out of the crowds when her head perked up and her eyes met with mine. Pale blue – almost grey – pupils that seemed to be glassed over, a smooth face; she was younger than I had presumed. She stood from where she had been sitting and with a flap of her cape and nod towards the crowded bar, fled through the small door. I jogged after her, knowing she'd be waiting and entered into the bar. As I'd predicted it was crowded; smoke filled the air, music played loudly, and shouts and voices blended in together to create a profound hum. I searched the perimeter of the room, trying to locate the woman and eventually found her near the back at a small and empty table. I walked towards her, head bowed and eyes staring at my feet. If anything, a bar was no place to stare or start a fight. I didn't want to risk anything.

"Sit, please." She spoke upon my arrival a hand motioning to the seat across from her. My eyes widened, having not said a single word to her and my hands clenched, surprised with how bold she came across. I felt my blaster in my back pocket. I moved a hand to hold it gently, sitting down in the small booth before I let it go.

She remained hooded a few moments later, but soon pushed it down revealing matted and dirty blonde hair. Her fair skin, which I had seen under the hood, only remained on the right side of her face. The other was marred – scarred with burns and blotchy red skin. She must have noticed my staring, for a smile crept across her lips and she reached a hand to gently touch the ruined skin.

"You study my face as if you have never seen something like it before."

"No!" I sputtered out the word, shaking my head and profusely apologizing. "I'm so sorry! It's just . . . I didn't think you would be this young, or . . ." I let my voice falter, knowing I had no idea what to say.

The young woman continued to smile, nodding her head. "Yes. I understand. You have no need to apologize." She touched the rim of her hood, her fingers dancing across the fabric. "Now, it's come to my understanding and intuition you're looking for something . . ." Her eyes met mine again, a moment of silence sitting between us. "Or someone?"

"How did you know?" I asked, instantly taken. I didn't let her answer but leaned in across the table, closer to her. My voice became quiet, barely above a whisper. "Yes. Yes, I'm looking for someone . . . I'm – I'm looking for a girl . . ." I knew sooner or later if I needed real help, I'd have to say who I was working for. "I'm with the Resistance," I whispered. "I was sent here to retrieve a girl – well really she's not a girl anymore-" I pulled the small, folded and crumpled picture of a young Maia, handing it to the woman who gazed down serenely at it. I bit my lip, hoping and praying that she'd recognize her.

"How long has she been missing?" The woman asked, her eyes not tearing from the picture.

"Thirteen years."

The woman let out a low and humming chuckle. "Clearly, you are correct." She looked up from the picture to me, placing it in the center of my palm. "She is no girl anymore. She's a woman."

"Have you seen her?" I asked, my tone coming out as a beg. I was desperate for clues or ideas. If this woman could point me in the right direction of Maia, I was a step closer to bringing her home and reuniting her with Simon.

"Why are you looking for her?" The woman answered with a question.

"So you've seen her? Do you know her?" My fists clenched on the table, my heart beat fast.

The woman's face was blank, giving no clear sign as to if she was telling the truth or if she'd seen Maia. She merely thrummed her long nails on the table top, studying me with careful eyes. Her lips pursed, her two-faced persona earning a shiver from me. I played it off calm and collected. I couldn't let her think I was a fraud.

"You search for a girl who is now a woman. She's been missing for thirteen years . . ." She re-stated everything I told her ending with, "Why is it you are looking for her now?"

"Her-" I cut myself off remembering Simon's words. Although they were aimed toward Maia not to say anything about him, it happened to ring true for the others who asked or would eventually ask. My mind swarmed with thoughts and ideas – fibs. I searched around, trying to find a plausible one.

"She must meet with the Resistance – we find she may hold a key or something valuable that can help us."

"Help you with what?"

"The First Order."

There was a longer pause. The longest of any there had been between us. The woman had froze, her face still blank with no emotion. I could tell she was thinking.

Then. "You're lying."

"I'm not," I said. "I'm merely stating what I was told to say."

"So you can't tell me the real reason then?"

I didn't reply. I turned my head, looking away.

This was turning out to be no help at all. I prepared to get up and leave, but was stopped when she spoke up again.

"I understand," she said willfully, "why you must lie." I looked at her, noticing she had closed her eyes. "You must protect her – her identity is important to keep hidden. The First Order must not find out about her existence . . . or they will use her as a weapon against you."

"How did you kn-" I began but was cut off by her voice.

"But I must warn you: Although that may be your initial reason to find her, it won't be the only trial you face on this journey." Eyes still closed, she reached a hand out blindly, finding mine and pressing her palm against it. "You are a lonely man. You are scared, but you do not dare show it. You are plagued with your thoughts and emotions. You crave adventure . . . But what you are too afraid of is letting someone else see that.

"You will find her – the girl who is a now a woman. But take heed: She will take your heart, your flesh, blood and bones; she will be the reason you run . . . but she will also be the reason you return." Her eyes opened. "You seek a woman – I've seen her with my very eyes . . . I know of her. But be warned. She is not a prize to be won. And neither is she the reason that will make you who you yearn to be . . . You will find out soon enough her true purpose."

Her hand retreated from mine, sliding back as she used it along with her other one to reach behind and place the hood over her head. "I have said too much," she said. "I must go."

She stood, getting ready to walk away when I grabbed her wrist.

"Wait."

She turned slightly, her eyes barely seen from behind the dark hood.

"You said you know her. You know Maia?"

"Yes," she replied softly. "I do."

"Do you know where I will find her? Do you know where she is?"

I could barely see the hint of a smile play across her lips. Her hand slid out of mine and she spoke once more before disappearing into the crowded bar and leaving forever.

"That is for you to discover."

I tried to find her and follow her out of the bar, but by the time I reached the outside and stared into the crowded streets amongst the tents and objects, creatures and people, she had truly vanished. There was no trace of her, even as I began the long trek back to the freighter and BB-8 who was most likely wondering where I was. With the information I had now, there was nothing stopping me from my searching. Not even hunger or dehydration.

The walk didn't take as long as it had the first time. Maybe it was because the words the mysterious woman had said seemed to repeat itself in my mind. The words that daunted and plagued my thoughts. It felt surreal – had my future been told? Had the woman really foretold the events that would take place for me and Maia?

Maia. She was just supposed to be a girl. A woman. This mission was supposed to be simple. It wasn't supposed to throttle me in to something that was forbidden.

I shook my head. Stupid. Silly. It was unwise to believe what soothsayers and fortune tellers said. I was not one to be fooled. I was not one to wonder and be superstitious about my own fate. I believed that our fates took their own turns and choices. It wasn't and could not be simply planned out, by someone who had only met me once . . . for a brief moment.

The freighter lay up ahead, and I could barely see the platform lowering and a familiar white and orange ball roll down towards the sand. I slid down the dunes, my feet practically stumbling over the other, but I kept myself steadied. BB-8 bleeped with delight, rolling over the smaller dunes and reaching me with such speed, he almost tripped the both of us.

"Yes, bud, I'm back!" I bent down, giving him a soft pat, like an owner would do to a dog. He explained at lightning speed that the ship and he himself were safe the entire time I had been gone. Nothing had been tampered with and all was ready to go when I was.

"Well, I gotta say, you're quite prepared to get a move on." I stood, looking out into the far distance. My thoughts drifted. From Maia to the woman I'd spoken with . . . to Luke Skywalker – the man and last Jedi who grew up on these very grounds and lived a life not knowing what would come next. Here he never knew who his father was, who his mother was, where he stood in the galaxy. And Maia; she had no idea either. She was just like Luke – probably wondering where her purpose lay, who she really was.

BB-8 nudged my leg, urging me to follow him back to the ship. I looked down at him, smiling, knowing he'd seemed to know exactly what I was thinking. I nodded, motioning towards the ship, chuckling as I watched him roll off, myself following close behind.

It was simply another day. Another day of searching. Another step closer.

The woman's words ringed in my head, but began to fade as my thoughts focused on what was more important.

"Lead the way BB-8. Let's go find Maia and bring her home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can tell you that this was an important chapter to read and I hope you paid attention because things in the next chapter will be taking a totally new turn and you will finally get to meet Maia! :D Who's excited to meet her!?
> 
> COMMENT. VOTE. FOLLOW. ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :)
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)


	7. Poe

.: POE :.

We'd been searching for days. I don't know how long it had been, but it seemed time slipped by faster than I could realize; and with each sun up and sun down, I grew more weary and tired. The words of the mysterious woman I'd spoken with had somehow haunted my dreams and I continued to wake up for nights, drenched in my sweat, shaken and panicked. It was hard to return to sleep. And eventually when I did, it would be restless. It was only when I was out and searching – with my mind focused on other things – that I forgot entirely what she had said. Returning back to the freighter at night would result in the words swarming my brain until I felt like it would drive me insane. Calming down took hours.

The city had been entirely and thoroughly searched. Even with some minor help, which I'd gotten hold of by pretending to be a newcomer, I'd learned that through truthful lips, Maia was a slave. It was uncommon nowadays for there to be human slaves, but upon further information that I found, children abandoned or left on Tatooine most likely became slaves due to no family or friends willing to take them in. The only way to stay alive was to sell your freedom and in the hopes, raise enough money to gain it back. Fortunately, word was, Maia was a common help around the area. Her slave owners weren't the worst and she didn't have the chips contained in her body that would explode if she tried to escape. But the penalty if she did escape was a costly whipping or possible hanging. There was no way I could "purchase" her if I wanted. Her masters wouldn't have of it, despite letting her help other places. I'd spoken to one man who had bargained with Maia's owners after she'd helped on his property, but no matter how much money would be put on the table the answer was still simple and unsatisfying.

"NO."

I hadn't given up yet though. It was only a matter of time before I would find her. There were still a few places to look. I had met with Maia's owners, posing as a slave owner who had just moved to Tatooine and hoped secretly to gain access to her in some way. I had pretended to ask for help and had been given advice about where and when to purchase my own help. But they proved unhelpful in telling me anything about their own. I didn't press. When they started becoming suspicious, I bid them goodbye and a sincere thanks.

They were interested in BB-8 though who I claimed was mine and sincerely off-limits and not for sale.

The day had been another uneventful one. With the late afternoon sun hitting my back, the help that only got me so far and still not close enough to Mia weighing on my mind, and the sooth-sayers words repeating themselves again and again, I felt the need to take a break and rest. My feet were dragging on the sandy road through city's alleys. We were on the outer edge of the city, where it was far less crowded. The freighter which I'd parked in a nearby junk yard could be seen up ahead. The idea of returning in early was tempting, but I was soon distracted by the distinct noises coming from a building not far away. The door to it was opened as a mix of people and creatures walked out.

Clearly it was a bar.

My mouth was dry and a drink didn't sound that half bad. After this day, it felt deserved.

"What do ya say, BB-8?" I looked down at him as he raised his head to look back. "Does a drink sound fine?"

There was no need for him to reply; I was already staggering towards the entrance. As I walked by the others, I wondered if they thought I was just as pissed as them. By the looks on their faces as I passed with a wave and grin, I could only assume they thought exactly so. By the time I'd arrived at the door, they were already gone, rounding a corner and yelling away. I pushed through, the door opening and a sudden gust of cool air hit my face. I walked into the bar, placing both hands on my hips and looking around the perimeter of the room. It was smoky and hazy – music, filled the air and the sounds of voice clashed together. Glasses clinked, some were smashed. Folks huddled in small to large groups; loud bantering and hushed whispered tones came from every corner. Typical.

I felt in my back pocket for my blaster. My hand gently touched the handle, ready to pull out and aim and shoot in case anything or anyone decided to charge. BB-8 sat at my heels, head spinning as he studied every inch of the room, searching for suspicious factors.

"See anything, bud?" I spoke, trying to seem casual to others around us. I glanced briefly at the droid, noting his reply to stay away from the corner located behind the band. They'd been staring at us since the moment we walked in and hadn't stopped. I could see them out of the corner of my eye. Three men – all dirty and sweaty. Most likely slaves.

"Good to know," I said, stowing the blaster away further into my pocket. "Now, how 'bout we go get us a drink?"

We strolled over to a quieter section of the bar; I leaned up against the table top, raising my voice just the slightest as I tried to attract attention to the bartender.

"Excuse me!?" I held up a hand, making myself known. "Just one . . ." I raised a finger. "One's enough."

The bartender nodded his head, got the drink and grumbled away as I fumbled with a few coins to place on the bar in payment. "Thank you." The tall drink slid on the bar, the cold glass touching my fingers as it came in contact. Condensation trickled down, and I lifted the glass up, taking a sip as my throat – dry from being parched – eased from pain. I placed the drink down, sighing, as I folded my arms neatly over one another and on the bar top.

It didn't seem like much of a place, but clearly it got action. Lots of folks came to meet each other; I noticed a group gambling over in the corner near the musicians who had been singing and dancing away. I didn't want to stare for too long so I let my eyes drift around more of the room, hoping in any way I could find someone to trust and confide my information to about Maia. Maybe they'd be the source that could get me to her.

My hand went up to my temple, rubbing it as I took another gulp of my drink. I hadn't contacted the Resistance in a while but instead added to my logs and journals. Eventually I'd have to inform the Resistance of my progress but the lump in my throat and deep guilt of no helpful findings kept me silent. What was I going to do when the General or Simon called to ask? Although my talents in lying and fibbing were impressive, I was well aware both Simon and General Leia had amazing intuition. One of them would figure out I was lying – and my hopes of helping General Leia with her secret mission would be washed down the drain. I couldn't lose their trust.

I swallowed the last drops of my drink before slamming the empty glass down. I must not have heard BB-8 over the music and commotion because before I could raise my hand and signal for another drink, I felt my body being slammed back first into the bar.

Two men stood on either side of me, and one in front in the middle. They were the same three that had been watching us since we'd arrived. BB-8 swiveled around all of them, coming to stand by my side, bleeping and shaking; warning me about what was to come. I gave him a knowing look or reassurance before returning my attention to the men.

"Can I help you?" My voice was calm. My back was pressed into the bar, and a fair amount of folks and creatures around stopped their talking to view us. Even the musicians had grown quiet. I felt all eyes on me as well as those of the three strangers. I waited for a reply.

The three men glanced at one another before the one in the middle nodded to the two on my sides. "Search him."

Both men closed in, suddenly patting and touching every part of my body. BB-8 crawled beneath the bar hiding behind my legs as I stiffened. "Hey now! I'm not here to hurt anyone! I just wanted a drink! Can we all just settle this and figure out why you-" A swift punch in the side knocked the wind out of me as the man on the right pulled out my blaster. I hunched over, trying to regain my breath.

"That's . . ." my voice rasped. "Hey man, that's mine. That's my blaster."

The man in the middle – he must have been the leader of the three – studied the blaster. His large fingers, danced around the trigger, tracing every inch and inspecting. His eyes finally wandered up to me, holding the blaster up in his hands, forcing me to answer his question.

"Where did you get this?"

"I don't understand. Can we please settle this somewhere el-"

"Who do you work for?"

"What?" I asked, confused, my eyes squinting. "I'm sorry but I think you've got the wrong g-"

"Who's your master? Where did you get this weapon? Are you authorized to have it?"

"I'm sorry. I really don't think you understand . . . I'm no slave." I held up my hands. "The blaster is mine. Mine alone. I was given it."

The man stared intently. "By who?"

I couldn't mention the Resistance. I couldn't blow my cover. I bit the inside of my cheek, worry seeping in as I tried to form a lie that could be plausible and selling.

"My – my father." I sputtered the words out. "He was a trader . . . and he got it from a friend of his. He passed it along to me when he died."

The man watched me, his glare not hesitant as he gripped the blaster tighter in his hand. Both of his comrades stared along as well. I felt a trickle of sweat roll down my back and my throat grow dry again. Damn, all I wanted was another drink. Was that too much to ask?

With my hands still held up, I attempted a truce. "My friend, can you please hand me back my blaster. I mean no harm to you. I'm just here to get a drink and relax like everyone el-"

"Who do you work for?" It was a question he had asked earlier, and I knew he wouldn't let me go until I had answered it for him. I tried my best to remain calm and still – nonchalant. But no matter what, I couldn't think of a single occupation or name. As my mind swarmed with silly ideas, I noted how everyone else had officially stopped what they had been doing previously to watch the speculation of me and the three men.

The leader, was growing weary and I saw him raise the blaster and aim it straight at my face.

I broke out in a cold sweat.

"Who. Do. You. Work. For?"

I swallowed a lump in my throat. My mind landed on one single idea, and I knew the moment I thought of it, it was the only good one I could use.

If the General ever heard about this she would kill me.

"Han Solo."

I saw the first punch coming, and before it could meet my face, I jumped up instantly forcing both my legs out in front of me, kicking one of the comrades in the gut and causing the blaster to be knocked out of the leaders hands. It went tumbling to the ground along with comrade one. The other comrade during that time had barreled himself into my side, causing me to go flying into a barstool, instantly. Upon impact a loud crack sounded and a throbbing pain seemed to inflame my insides. I reached a hand to my stomach. Before I had time to defend myself even more, a punch had come into focus, nailing me right in the face. I had no time to fight off the three of them. It was soon a fight for survival. I could taste the familiar copper and iron flavor of blood. Looking up, I was met with the leader's face narrowing in. I smirked, trying to come off fine, like I could take the heat.

"Han Solo? You work for Han Solo?"

Nodding my head, I continued to smirk. "Cut the bullshit man – And stop asking. I told you." I chuckled, blood dribbling down from my lips. "I work for Han Solo."

I was slapped across the face; a strong force and blunt object nailed the back of my legs. I cried out for the first time, biting my lip as the leader and his comrades slammed my head onto the bar top.

"If you work for Han Solo, you aren't welcome here."

"BB . . ." I tried to call out to the droid. "Get 'em . . ." My head was spinning, and I could tell that suddenly my vision was growing weak. I could barely spot the small orange and white ball roll up behind all three men and suddenly see a hot electric current. I watched as all faces reacted to the shocking that came from BB-8 who then squealed, stopping the electric current. He spun around and back towards me as the leader, reacting to the shock, picked up and threw the blaster at me. I picked up the pistol, stowing it away in my pocket. The leader came in at such speed before he picked me up by both arms and carried me out towards the bar's exit. I attempted to spring out of his arms but he rammed me up against the wall, more gasps escaping the audience's lips. His grip tightened on me, my head swirled, but I didn't stop smirking at him.

He had to think that he lost.

"I'm here to do my job, man. So just leave me alone, and we can forget about this."

He slammed me again into the wall and my head bounced off; I was seeing stars. His grip tightened on my neck as I struggled to breathe.

"That's enough. I've heard enough from you." He hissed, dragging me off the wall, walking towards the door and throwing me out. "STAY OUT YOU SCUM!" I could barely see BB-8 whiz out past him. The man kicked the droid, sending it spiraling towards me as I stood up.

"AND KEEP YOUR BLOODY STUPID DROID OUT AS WELL!" He slammed the door to the bar, blocking any access back in. My legs were like jello. BB-8 rolled up behind, keeping me steady.

"Thanks, bud," I mumbled the words incoherently as I turned away from the bar. "Couldn't have done this . . ." my words faltered as did my mind. ". . . without ya . . ."

BB-8 replied back, but I couldn't understand him. I began limping along, no idea where to go. I guess the freighter was the only option.

I couldn't see. My eyes were swelling up and my head throbbed. I felt trickles of blood run down my forehead as I stumbled away from the bar, trying to regain my balance. I could vaguely hear BB-8 following closely behind, worried shrieks escaping him. I stumbled some more, reaching out to grasp something and hold on. I willed my lips to stay shut, to suppress the moans that threatened to fall out. Every bone in my body ached and wept, begging to rest. I recognized the iron taste in my mouth as blood again and spit out whatever of it I could. My muscles cramped, my head swarmed with pain. I wanted to yell and shout. I wanted to be rid of my misery.

I wanted it all to stop.

I tripped over something. My muffled groans noting my fall as my head hit the sand hard. My ears suddenly began ringing; I forced my eyes to open but only saw the blurred blue sky that swam with my sweat and tears. I nimbly reached out a hand, faintly hearing BB-8's bleeping and assurance he was beside me. I willed my lips to move, trying to speak to him, to tell him he needed to go get help.

"T-the sh-sh-ship." My words were faint, and I tried to reach out and touch him, but everything hurt. Everything. I suddenly wanted it all to end. To stop.

The men that had forced themselves on me had seemed stronger than I presumed. The first blow had knocked the wind out of me, sending me flying to the floor. And soon enough all I could remember was the trampling and the cussing and yelling and fighting. It had all happened so fast. Re-living the moments made me groan, the pain became more evident. The will and strength to move seemed impossible.

BB-8 squealed, causing me to crane my neck to the side, searching for him. I moved my hand, hissing with pain. "It's n-not th-that b-bb-bad," I whispered. "J-ju-just a c-couple scratches." Through blurred vision I noticed blood caked on my hands and saw a small pool forming that trickled into the sand by my side. I'd been stabbed with something; it was suddenly hard to breathe and my ribs were cracked.

"BB-8 . . ." I spoke quietly, my breathing gurgled with the blood filling my lungs and throat. "S-ship. C-ca-call the G-gen-general . . . get h-help." I tried to speak more but it became a force to reckon with and I gasped for the air I could, finding my throat swollen, and my lungs full. Breathing through my nose seemed impossible. I began to panic . . .

Was this it?

The sun had been blazing down, burning my blistered face, and heating every area of my body. A dark mass had quickly blocked the sun, shadowing my face and body. I closed my eyes, fearing the worst would happen. Had the men come out to finish me? Well, if I could at least get the last word in, I'd be fine. I couldn't make out the loud bleeps BB-8 produced as something cool and wet touched my forehead and the feeling of skin pressed to my cheek. My eyelids fluttered, trying to open and see what was looming over me.

What was my fate now?

I opened my eyes with all the strength I could possess. The shadow which hovered over me was blurry. I couldn't make out much, but like how fog rose from a dreary and blind day, it was lifted and I could barely make out the lines of a human's face.

And it wasn't any of the three men from the bar.

Like the picture in my pocket she had brown hair; this time just reaching shy above the shoulders, unlike her long pigtails. Along with long lashes and deep set brown eyes it was the same nose I'd seen on her father's face, along with the pink full lips that pursed together in confusion and worry. The hand remained pressed to my cheek, holding still as the other dabbed away with a cloth on my forehead. The soulful eyes that had been focused in concentration suddenly landed on mine. I forced myself to speak. To say the one thing I'd been trying to say, wanting to say since the day I left on the freighter from D'qar and arrived on this god forsaken desert planet.

There she was.

Right in front of me.

And it wasn't I who found her.

She found me.

I smirked up at her, with all the strength that I had left in me.

My vision faded; I was being swallowed by the darkness.

But I remembered the one word – the one name spoken – before everything else went to black and I was no longer conscious.

"Maia."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHH! SHE'S HERE!!! MAIA IS HERE!!!!:D
> 
> Well, sorta . . . hehe:3
> 
> There's nothing else I can really say because I don't want to spoil anything, so make sure to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW, AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS if you want me to update again soon:)
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! And most importantly, thank you for waiting for Maia. I can assure you all, she will be a total badass:) And also - Poe will definitely not have the last word;) hehe
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)


	8. Maia

.:MAIA :.

How did he know my name?

He'd passed out long before I could ask and force him to answer. His head had lolled to the side; crusty blood dried beneath his nose, near his lips and in his hair just shy under the forehead. His eyes were both swollen, closed tight shut and forming a purple and black bruise. Meanwhile, his shirt underneath his jacket was blood-soaked – somehow he'd been stabbed. As I lifted the shirt – sticky with blood – I noted the wound was already beginning to close and scab over. I'd noticed that as he'd left the bar, he'd been stumbling – tripping over his own two feet. I'd been inside when the fight broke out and I'd snuck out the back door when Gregory had thrown him out. The droid, which had seen me all too soon, was trying to alert his master who was close to passing out. It was when I'd knelt down – checked his pulses, his breathing, his consciousness – that he looked up at me with such profound recognition; a smirk tore across his pained-stricken face, his hand tried to reach up and touch mine. I flinched despite no contact other than the palm of my hand cupping his cheek, making sure the blood flow would stop.

My hand remained where it was. I shook him gently. Nothing. There was no response.

Up ahead, a riot began. The loud shrieks and yelps were reverberating off the buildings, loud echoes were heard. I looked down at the man and then to his droid and back again. I gently slapped the bloodied cheek, earning nothing. My hands moved, both wrapping around his neck and pulling him up. I turned swiftly to the droid, urging him to follow as I heaved the man up, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. He was heavier than I thought, and I grunted, his weight suppressing my back and shoulders. I began to slowly drag him away out of the street, hoping to find somewhere quiet.

The droid followed, bumping in to me and bleeping up a mess of jumbled words that at first seemed incoherent. With a puzzled look, I glanced down, sweat already forming on my forehead and dripping down my temples. The heat of the sun was dimming, but it still left the air hot and humid. Each slow step I took was a battle.

"What is it that you want?" I asked the droid, my voice coming out as a growl. "I'm helping your fri-" I halted in my words, realizing I'd mixed up titles and corrected myself. "I'm helping your master . . . A bloody decent act of kindness I'd say." Up ahead I found a small alley, shadowed and shaded from the day and sun. A well was located right near it, providing water to clean the man's wounds. "You see that well? Yes, that one up ahead?" I nodded towards it to get the droid's attention. "I want you to go down that alley . . . I'll meet you there in five minutes. Make sure no one can get to us."

The droid stopped, head swiveling to look at me as I rolled my eyes, mustering the will I had as I heaved the man's arm further around my shoulder.

I gave the droid a look. "I give you my word. You and your master will be safe with me."

A couple bleeps back as a reply, I gave him the hint of smile. "Yes. I promise. Your friend – your master will be alright. I'm going to stitch him up when we find refuge."

It sat for a few more moments staring before I told it off.

"Oi! Get a move on! You're barkin' up the wrong tree . . ." I made a jump for the droid, scaring him off as he went rolling away and towards the alley. I glanced back at his master, brow furrowing as I heaved him along. Slow, guttural and gurgled moans escaped his lips. Sweat beaded on his forehead, mixing in with the blood caked and dry. The shouts and yells were coming closer and I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure we couldn't be seen. When I turned back, I saw the droid hiding behind the alley, his small head poking out and urging me to follow as fast as I could.

I huffed out a tired breath. My shoulders were aching, burning as I dragged the body. Just a few more steps, I told myself. Just a few more steps.

"Ahh." I made it into the alley, letting the man drop further as I gasped in relief. My calves were starting to cramp and I stumbled; the droid moved out of my way. I knelt down, the man alongside me. His lips parted, drool and blood seeping out.

"Stay here. I'm going to get water from that well and bring it back." I settled the man next to his droid. "Watch him."

The droid watched me with spectacle. I stood, backing up, my eyes on them both. The droid's master was still out cold. I grabbed a small bucket sitting in the alley, holding a hand to tell the droid to stay put. Before I could do anything else, I turned, running out into the dusk evening towards the well. Down the road, a few slaves were heading back to their master's homes. I wondered how much time I had left before I had to return as well.

I filled the bucket, racing back to the alley, careful not to spill any of the water. Arriving to them both, I knelt down, unlatching the small bag I carried with me and pulled out a few bandages and medicinal herbs to stop the pain and ware off infection. The droid kept watching me in awe. I tried to not pick up banter with it as I went to work on cleaning the first wound on the man which was his nose. It didn't seem to be broken which was lucky. Gregory or one of his friends must have missed. I snickered, thinking about the fight back in the bar. It was quite the sight and would most likely be discussed for days.

Maybe it was the scent of one of the medicines but within seconds of the cloth dabbing against his nose after I'd cleaned all the blood off, the man's eyes shot open. I almost jumped from where I was, careful enough to barely miss the bucket which would have toppled over, wasting all the water. The man sat up, instantly reacting to the pain in his head which he grasped. I watched intently, eyes focused solely on him as he groaned. It didn't take long for him to finally lock eyes on me, and the same look of wonder and awe spread across his face just as it had before he passed out in the street.

"You have a cut in your abdomen. It needs fixing." I pointed to his shirt which was stained with a crimson color near the bottom.

"What?" He sounded confused before looking down to where I pointed. "Oh . . . What do ya know? I do." He looked at me again. "You're a healer?"

"Of sorts."

"You can help me?"

"Yes."

He opened up his arms, leaving access to his wound. "Well then, heal me."

I was tentative nearing him again, but he didn't make any forceful or inappropriate moves. Instead, he watched me do my work as I lifted his shirt, taking a cloth and wetting it before dabbing the area with water and cleaning the blood off. My hands were quick, soon spreading medicine over the cut, placing a strong bandage over it to seal it off from infection. Once I was done, I backed away, moving to the bucket of water to clean off the cloth.

"Thank you." His voice was soft, meaningful. "You have gifted hands."

"You're welcome." I kept my back facing him. "I think it's good to be practiced in the areas of healing."

"You're very right," he sighed, a yawn surpassing his lips. "So why's Han Solo such a sensitive name around here?" He asked as I wet a cloth. He held his head, grunting and grimacing. I glanced over my shoulder, shaking out the dirty rag and then hanging it on a small wire, turning back to work.

"Who knows?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Something 'bout him shooting first in the bar I think?" I grabbed the clean rag, moving over to him to clean the cut on his forehead. He had a black eye on the left side of his face. The other seemed alright. "He's got a reputation around here."

He grunted again. "Hmm, that's true." He hissed as the rag came in contact with the cut. I dabbed lightly. "I guess I should've thought that through. Probably not the best idea there is . . . or was."

I nodded my head. "Yeah. You should've." I finished cleaning the cut, placing a small bandage on it. "Clearly, lying on the spot isn't your best tactic either."

"You got some sass, don't ya?" Another wince as I opened his jacket to examine the stab wound again. It wasn't too deep or too big – maybe just a deep clean and some extra bandaging later on.

"Your cut isn't too bad – I don't think you'll need stitches."

"I sure as hell won't need stitches."

"But you probably have a minor concussion. I'd rest for the time being."

The man shook his head. "I don't have time for rest."

"Well then, you're just plain stupid." I scooted away from him, standing before I reached a hand down to help him to his feet.

"Thanks," he muttered quietly before gazing at his droid. "Well, mission accomplished pal. We found her."

"Found me? What do you mean? I found you." I placed both hands on my hips.

"You mean to tell me you've been looking for a man and a droid for the past fourteen days?" The man gave a sarcastic look, his droid bleeping out a few words to his master.

"No, BB-8. You're wrong."

"No, the droid's right. I found you stumbling pissed out of the bar from a fight. I was in there all along. Gregory knocked you out cold." I recalled the incident, smirking at him as he blinked a couple times distressed.

"Little lady," the man spoke, I scoffed at his words, "I've been looking for your pretty face for the past fourteen days and it's been hell. So let's say I take you back to the ship and explain everything there."

I let us sit in silence, pretending to contemplate for a little while before replying. "Nahhh, I'm good."

"Nahhh, I'm good isn't the correct answer."

"Who are you?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Didn't you hear me in the bar?"

"Didn't you just say that was a lie?"

"Ooh. You're a good listener." He glanced at something on his wrist. A watch possibly? "Oh hell, we gotta go. C'mon, BB-8." He staggered off the alley wall closer towards the street but only made it a few steps before I stopped him.

I'd had enough of his small talk and sass quite frankly.

"Who are you?" I went to grab his wrist but his reflexes were quick – practically impossible for his situation and injuries. I gaped, trying to remove myself from him but his grip tightened.

"Let me go!" I yanked and pulled with little to no release. Sweat stung my eyes, my hair whipped back and forth, falling out of its short braid. "Let me go! Or else I'll report you!"

He pulled me in fast, straight to his chest where I pressed my hands, trying to keep distance. His breath was heavy, hitting my skin that was not covered, and I looked up at him, eyes wandering and studying. I shook my head, lips moving but nothing coming out. His hand which had let go of mine went to securely wrap around my waist, pulling me against him tighter. The other hand went to tuck a stray piece of hair which had fallen loose behind my ear again.

"I'm here to save you."

"Wh-what?" I asked confused. "I don't need any saving. I'm fine on my own, thank you very much."

"Shhh," he whispered, placing a finger to his lips. "You have to be quiet."

"You haven't even answered my question," I said, glaring.

"What question?"

"Who you are! What's your name? Why are you here? What do you bloody want with me?"

It took him a brief moment, but soon enough a smile – well more of a smirk – broke out across his face. Despite the blue and purple bruises, the bandages that blocked the dried blood, it didn't seem to stop him. He bit his lip, looking straight at me. I felt a flutter rustle in my stomach.

"Poe. Poe Dameron."

"And how do you know my name, Poe?" I attempted to distance myself from him but to no avail.

"I was sent here to get you," he said in a hushed tone. His dark hair gleamed with sweat and stuck to his forehead. "I'm here to bring you to the Resistance."

I gave him a quizzical look. "The Resistance?" The friction between us grew. I felt what must have been his blaster pistol digging into my hip bone. "What does the Resistance possibly want from me?"

"Your help."

"My help? I've been on this bloody planet for as long as I can remember. I've never come across anyone who's been with the Republic – much better the Resistance." I tried to pull away again. "Clearly, you have the wrong Maia."

"No." Poe bit his lip smiling. "I don't." I felt his hand reach up to his front jacket pocket and pull out a small, crumpled and old photo. "I believe I have the right Maia." He loosened his grip on my waist, letting me take the picture and slide away.

I took the picture with both hands, confused. When I looked down at it, I couldn't help but have an intake of breath. Sure enough, it was me . . . but the question was how? All my life, I'd remembered being on this planet. I remembered being sold to my first slave owners who eventually sold me to my most recent ones. I remembered the long days and nights; the tedious hours of work; the nights where I lay on my flimsy mat crying silently as I wondered why I had no family or no one like I'd seen other fortunate children with. I remembered the day I finally stopped crying and decided to get on with the life I had – a life of slavery and imprisonment. Sure, my owners were not the worst in the land. They gave us better circumstances and lodging. They didn't implant us with the chips most slaves had – the ones that would explode if we attempted to leave. In a sense, they trusted us. But it didn't stop them from punishing if we disobeyed in any other way.

Every year, since the moment I could remember – I had been a slave. So how the hell did this Poe Dameron have a picture of me in a frozen moment of time I couldn't recall?

After a brief silence I looked back up at him. "Where did you get this?"

Poe leaned up against the alley wall, his frame stiff, but he shrugged his shoulders. "Someone from the Resistance had it."

"Who. Who from the Resistance?" I stepped forward, seething. "Tell me! Tell me who had this! Or I'll – I'll . . ."

"You'll what?" Poe grimaced, a chuckle barely escaping his lips.

I calmed myself down, taking in deep breaths. I couldn't force it out of him with physical torture. Not in his state. If anything, I had to talk it out of him. Bribe him. If he said he had "worked for Han Solo" – clearly that wasn't the case – than he'd have to be in to some kind of bribing. I studied him again, cocking my head to the side and putting on a flirtatious smile. "Well let's just say, I'll relieve a favor of yours you've been dying for since the moment you came." I slinked up to him, his back pressed firmly to the wall. I slid my hands up his chest, folding up his shirt as I shoved the picture in his pants pocket and danced my fingers across his skin. I watched his eyes dilate, his face flush. If I kept doing what I was doing, I'd get an answer.

"You like that, huh?" I giggled. My hands went further up his ribcage, past the small bandage I'd placed there when he first woke up. I bit my lip, leaning in; my pelvis was firmly against his. I tilted my head, leaning up to bite his neck when a sudden movement threw me against the wall on the other side of the alley, and Poe held my frame tightly against it, a smirk playing on his lips as he shook his head and his chest rumbled with more chuckles.

"C'mon, sweetheart. You really thought you could have fooled me with that pelvic sorcery of yours?" Poe shook his head. "Not a chance."

"Are you sure?" I edged closer to him. "Cause it seemed to be working earlier."

Poe scoffed. "Don't even start. I've already gone through hell trying to find you."

"Well, you didn't find me after all. If it wasn't for me, you'd still be lying on the ground or more likely rotting in Gregory's owner's dungeon!" I growled, leaning in to his face as I corrected him again. "I saved your life and you should be grateful! The least you can do is tell me why you're here to take me to the Resistance, and where the bloody hell you got this picture!"

"I told you, I was given it to identify you correctly upon arriving here," Poe answered annoyed. A quick roll of his eyes was there to prove it. "I've said all I could. The Resistance needs you. They need your help. I'm just here to return you as their precious cargo."

"What do they want with me? I don't understand how I could be help to them."

"Neither do I, sweetheart."

I rolled my eyes. The nickname was going to get on my nerves but it sounded like it was also going to stick. Poe let me go, backing up a few steps. Before long, I noticed both him and his droid nearing the end of the alley. I instantly froze, afraid that they would step out too far and get noticed. No doubt, Gregory had informed his owners and a few other people about Poe's visit. And if they still believed the rumors about Poe working for Han Solo to be true – well let's just put it bluntly that Poe was screwed.

"What are you doing?" I hissed. Poe poked his head around the alley, looking out into the street. The droid, mimicked his master, scooting around me and pushing me further behind Poe as he looked out as well. I tried to push through so they could get pushed back but it was useless. "You're going to get us in trouble."

"Do you see anything BB-8?" Poe asked quietly, ignoring my remark and question. BB-8 responded rapidly, Poe nodding his head as he took everything in.

"I think you're right. A quick break for the ship. We'll notify the Resistance once we're out of the atmosphere."

I did a double take. "Out of the atmosphere? You mean we're leaving the planet?"

Poe gave me a look. "Yeah. Where did you think we were going? Back to the bar?"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "No. But I did think you were taking me to a Resistance Base on the planet. You didn't say anything about leaving the atmosphere. Nor the system." I stepped closer to the both of them. "Where is the Resistance Base exactly?"

"That my dear, is classified." Poe drew back into the shadows of the alley, turning to face me. I rolled my eyes, turning away once again, treading down the alley to retrieve the small meager bag of medicines and bandages I carried with me.

"So it's Dear now?"

"Nope. I'm sticking with sweetheart."

"Wonderful." I stuffed a small rag into the confines of the bag, standing up once more. "Well lead the way captain. I guess I have no choice but to follow you and your droid and this horrible plan."

"Commander, actually."

"Fine," I scoffed, "Commander." I waited beside Poe, watching as he gave a small signal to BB-8 to meander his way out of the alley. You could hear voices in the street. But to who did they belong was the question. I wondered what the time was and took a glimpse at the dark night sky hanging above us. If my assumptions were correct it was nearing the hour of curfew. I would be checking in to my quarters around this time now if I hadn't run in to Poe and BB-8. But now, I had no other choice but to leave and go with them. It wasn't that I necessarily wanted to trail along – part of me didn't. The idea of staying with what was normal, what was sane and typical called out. Part of me was tempted to run on back to my master's, take the punishment that was necessary for my staying out late and then go to bed; waiting for another early morning ritual and usual day job of working hard and receiving little. But the other part – that part that was curious, intrigued and completely fascinated with the thought of travel and escape seemed to overcome. Leaving this desert – being able to see a whole new world, a whole new system and a whole new planet sounded riveting.

Finding out my past – that's what called me to take the step. Finding out where Poe got that picture, made me grab his hand as he reached out his for me to to take.

We were stepping out from the shadows into danger. Into fear and a game of cat and mouse with whoever wished to stop us.

I watched Poe without hesitation as my hand fell into his and he looked back with a smirk. BB-8 said something but neither of us listened.

I already knew what he was going to say before it left his lips.

"Are you ready, sweetheart?"

I shook my head. "Don't call me that." I couldn't believe I was doing this. I barely knew him.

But I felt it. That small feeling – that little nudge . . . A nudge to follow Poe.

And God forbid it, but actually trust him too.

Poe smiled some more. "I can't help myself. I'm your knight in shining armour. It's my duty to call you sweetheart and make sure you make it back in tip top shape." His face then straightened, smile faltering in the slightest as his hand squeezed mine tighter and tugged lightly. "But I'm gonna tell you this."

"Tell me what?" I didn't want him to have the last word.

Poe winked. He knew he had it this time.

"Wha-"

"Get ready to run."

And once his words were out in the air, it was as if we were the foxes being let loose on a chase.

That's when the shooting began and chaos ensued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHH! So what do you all think of Maia and her first chapter!? :DDD
> 
> I also thought this song was ironic and fitting for this chapter:3 hehe. What do you think?
> 
> I'm so glad to finally introduce you all formally to Maia - to give you a little chance to get inside her head and see who she is and how she thinks.
> 
> Also, the banter between her and Poe is completely fun to write soooooo:3 hehe
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It was so fun to write it and it makes me even more excited for what's all ahead for you to read!! As I said earlier, the story is just getting started and the good and meaty stuff is on it's way! So be prepared!
> 
> Please remember to VOTE. COMMENT. FOLLOW. ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS. I absolutely adore seeing what you all have to say! It keeps me going and certainly for this chapter, I'd love to know what you think about Maia:)
> 
> Maia is portrayed by Lily James:) I absolutely adore Lily. She is queen - and I totally think she'd would be amazing in Star Wars! *crosses fingers and prays incessantly for a miracle that Lily will be in the next Star Wars film* Either way, it's fun to imagine her in the world with this story! She's such a talented actress!
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)


	9. Poe

.: POE :.

 

The bullets tore the earth in frenzy. Maia's hand was in mine – in a death-like grip that seemed impossible to release. Shouts and more shots were fired as we both rounded another corner alley. BB-8 was close behind and I could barely make out the freighter sitting on the other side of the buildings enclosing us; it was parked near plenty of other ships. We managed to meander our way through the tight corridor until the voices that were after us grew louder and closer. I whipped Maia around another corner, throwing her up against the wall as BB-8 hid beneath our legs.

"What the bloody hell do you think you-"

I slapped a hand over her mouth, but hissed when I felt her teeth biting into my flesh.

"What th-"

"Don't you ever slap a hand over my mouth again," Maia sneered. Her eyes glared, her mouth curled up in a growl. "You have no right to take advantage of me."

The voices grew louder. I didn't say a word, but pressed into Maia, covering her head with my hands and hoping as they searchers passed, they wouldn't take notice to us in the shadows. Maia had been fighting me, but upon hearing the voices so close she stiffened; her voice went, her head bowed further into my chest. I could sense her shaking.

"You're okay," I whispered, patting her back, trying to provide some comfort. "You're alright. You're safe."

"How can I know that?" she said, her voice muffled by my jacket. She pulled herself away; her hair was falling loose from the small braid. Her chest was heaving, her face was flushed red. "We almost died right there. We still can die, for all I know!"

I felt for my blaster and made sure it was loaded before I pulled it out to show Maia. She flinched, drawing away from me, as if the blaster was the plague. "Not on my watch we aren't." I nodded for her to follow me as I peered around the corner. BB-8 came to my side, noting that the coast was clear.

"Do we have a clear shot to the ship?" I asked him. He bleeped back his answer, and I smiled reaching down and gave him a tap on the head. "That's why you're the best, pal." I looked back at Maia who watched me with curiosity before straightening up and smile faltering from my lips. "BB-8 says we have a clear path to the freighter. We'll be traveling at light speed, so we'll be back at Base in a couple days." I reached out my hand for her to take. "Do you trust me?"

Maia stared at my hand, her arms lying at her sides, biting her lip and brows furrowing. Before I knew it, the warmth of her palm had molded in to mine, her lips parted and she was speaking.

"As if I don't have a choice."

"C'mon," I tugged her gently, moving out of the alley, crouched as our feet ran deftly along the path. There were shots fired, sounding farther away and I felt Maia's grip on my hand tighten whenever one was heard. The sound of a blaster, a cannon or gun ripping the air was never a pleasant sound. It was wrenching and deafening. Even the quietest shots. You can hear the sound of someone's last breath leaving their lips. You can hear Death stopping the heart.

We continued running until an opening in the alley gave way a clear path to the freighter. I halted in my steps, Maia pressing behind me. My chest was heaving, sweat drenching my body. I ached from the bruises and injuries from the men in the bar. I'd have to push through though, and eventually when I got back to Base I'd be visiting the Medical Bay for more examination. The ship seemed unscathed and no one was in sight. I crouched low again, bringing Maia down with me till we were both the height of BB-8. Looking at the two of them, I cleared my throat, whispering the plan.

"BB-8, you're gonna lead Maia onto the ship – hopefully I'll give you enough time to do that while I attempt to fight off anyone who tries to stop us. When you get on the ship, type in the co-ordinates for Base so that when I get on, we can leave." I caught my breath, turning to Maia who watched me intensely. "Don't be stupid, don't pull anything that could put us or you in more danger. We can't risk it now."

Maia scoffed, her nostrils flaring as she replied. "I'm not that impulsive, you know."

"Oh yeah?" I cocked my head to the side. "Try me." She glared and opened her mouth to respond back but by then I was standing and getting ready to move out from the alley and into the open.

"BB-8, on my count . . ." I could see him move stealthily behind me, Maia peering over the both of us.

"One . . ."

BB-8 spoke, but I ignored his comments. Out of the corner of my eye something shifted in the shadows.

"Two . . ." The figure grew and I took a step forward, turning to the side, just the slightest. Maia's breath hit my neck and a chill ran up my spine.

"Three!" I swiveled my hips, turning around just as Maia and BB-8 took off at a fast run towards the ship. A hooded figure had jumped from behind us, coming forward at rapid speed as I aimed my blaster towards it. I fired, quickly hitting it and sending them to the floor before I made sure no one else was with them. My feet were light as I broke out of the alley, following Maia and BB-8 who were nearing the freighter just as more bullets and shots broke the air and sand began to fly around me.

Maia had heard the shots, she turned around to look over her shoulder and check the commotion. I waved my arms, yelling at her through the loud noises.

"GO! KEEP RUNNING! DON'T LOOK BACK!" I fired unwillingly towards more of the figures. I had no idea if my shots were lethal or helpful. My bones ached and the desire and need to just stop tempted me far more than I knew. The dusk air was growing colder. My eyes blurred, drowsiness beginning to take over. I had to push on – this wasn't going to let me stop.

Maia and BB-8 were boarding, the platform was beginning to rise and I turned once more to fire shots. A figure came flying out of nowhere, barely missing me as I shot once more into the open air. My legs burned and felt heavy. They were catching up to us and fast. BB-8 must have gone for the cockpit to enter in the co-ordinates for Base; Maia was the one waiting for me as I jumped to climb onto the rising platform. I fell, barely hanging on and crying out. The ship was turning on, the engines were starting and we were rising from the ground. I looked down, feeling pain in my abdomen, realizing my stab wound had opened up again. Fear crept in to my veins; I felt myself going into shock. My grasp on the platform was loosening. I looked down at the ground; we were rising higher and higher. Below, the hooded figures and Maia's masters were shooting. A large weapon of unknown purpose shot, instantly shaking and hitting one of the engines that blew up. Fire, hot and fuming licked my skin. I hissed. My hands were sliding; we were gaining altitude despite the engine blowing.

"Gahhhh," I groaned out, closing my eyes and trying not to look. The pain was overbearing, we had a blown out engine and I was slipping further down the platform. "Close the platform!" I yelled out, "close the damn platform!"

The moment the platform closed instantly, I let out a sigh of relief. "God!" I coughed, sending saliva and blood across the floor. "Damn, I think the bandage broke." I tried to get on all fours but was dizzy and the fumes from the engine had made me sick. My burns blistered. Bile rose in my throat and I forced it back down. The last thing I could do on this mission was get sick.

I could see black dots, appearing and disappearing. My head felt heavy – like it was about to explode. I rolled over onto my back again, trying to regain my energy and air. I felt my abdomen grow wet and I lifted my shirt up only to see my hand covered in blood again. "Damnit," I muttered as I groaned in pain. My hand fell to my side and I felt glad BB-8 knew how to work the cockpit. We had to be nearing the end of the atmosphere by now.

"You're bleeding."

My eyes shot open upon hearing her voice, and before I knew it Maia was kneeling down beside me and ripping the old bandages off to put on new ones. Her hands were pale and soft against my skin. I watched intently, seeing her clean the wound, my breathing shallower and less frazzled.

She examined it once it was clean, eyes squinting before she turned to pull supplies out of her small bag. "This needs to be stitched up now or you'll be bleeding all over the place. I'll get to your burns soon. Are you dizzy?"

"Yes . . ." My voice was husky. "Why's that important?"

"It means you're losing a lot of blood." Maia pulled out a needle and thread as well as a bottle of wound cleaning liquid, burn cream and more bandages. "This shouldn't hurt, and I'll try to be fast."

"I don't need stitches," I tried to interject but she slapped me back down to the floor. I lay, staring at the ceiling of the ship in complete shock.

"You'll do just as I say for once – and for your own good." She peered over my abdomen, threading in the needle and stitches. I grunted, wincing as I felt her pulling my skin and flesh together. "In the meantime, try and not be an idiot again like that. You should have known they were following us in the alley."

"B-but . . . How did you know that?"

"The droid told me."

I rolled my eyes, letting my head loll off to the side and groan. "Right."

"There." Maia cut the thread and needle from my abdomen, covering it with a new clean bandage. She started putting cream on the burns before wrapping them up as well. "You're set; but be careful when you sit up."

"Thanks." I rolled my bloodied shirt down, covering the bandage and stitches gently. My jacket went over my shirt. I sat up, finding Maia had stood by now and had gone towards the cockpit. I stood up slowly, hissing in pain. My head was still dizzy and it took me a couple moments to catch my surroundings. When I was finally feeling somewhat better, I called out to Maia, stopping her in her tracks.

"Hey! I wasn't finished talking to you!"

"Oh piss off!" Maia hollered back. She didn't look at me but out the cockpit window to see her home planet grow smaller and smaller. She eventually turned my way, catching me off guard before I could speak. "Since the moment I've met you, you've been the most stubborn bloke I've ever met! You have no decency for me or your droid even – who actually is bloody smart!" She pointed to BB-8 who rolled away, not wanting to be a part of the confrontation.

I took a step forward, growing angry. "Oh now just wait a minute! You have no right to-"

"Does it ever faze you that you might be wrong about a plan? Instead you should actually listen to one of us for a chance! Anyone!? When I first bandaged you up in the alley after you got beat up by Gregory, I told you that you needed stitches. You fought me on that, and now look at ya! I just had to sit and wipe up a ton of your blood and clean your wound and burns! You would be dead or close to it, if it wasn't for me! So don't go around bragging and taunting about how you're the damn hero! You're far from it! And until we're back at the Resistance or we're safe and sound, I will be giving you no credit until you prove yourself otherwise!" She took a moment to catch her breath. "I can't stand you! I hope you know that! You're a tosser! A complete wanker! You have no respect for me! And the Resistance calls you they're best pilot, eh?" She took a step closer to me. Her chest heaved up and down, skin gleaming with sweat. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, and she knew it. "You, Poe Dameron, are far from a heroic pilot! You've done little to help this cause so far! I can't believe the Resistance chose you for this!" Maia was about to go on but noticed my eyes widen. Her rampant speech had torn away, dissipating into the air. She took a couple steps closer towards me, trying to remain calm as she spit out a question.

"What? What is it?" She stepped forward. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

I wasn't looking at her that was for sure. She'd been standing in front of the cockpit window, blocking my view of the planet and everything around us in general. It wasn't until the large shuttle had suddenly appeared that I realized we were in deep shit. I walked into her, pushing her to the side as she stumbled into the chair next of mine.

"What's going on?" She asked. She looked around, confused until her eyes finally found what was staring us straight in the face. She let out a low whistle, clutching the arm rests on the seat and slunk further down.

"We got company," I said, preparing for the worst.

"In one hell of ship," Maia finished.

"Hold on tight," I said throwing a lever. An idea formed itself in my mind. I was about to risk everything, and hopefully it worked. "We're leaving the atmosphere."

"How's that going to work?" She snorted.

"I won't know till I try it." I pulled another lever, pressing a couple buttons preparing the ship. I didn't notice her get up and leave the cockpit. "Damnit, this better work."

The shipped suddenly roared and soon enough we were flying higher than the others. We shot away, causing everything to shake and rumble. A loud tumbling sound could be heard out of the cockpit followed by a muffled scream which I ignored. I let out a holler of joy, cackling as loud as I could in the moment. In the blink of an eye we were out of the atmosphere and out of the system.

"Oh we got 'em, BB-8!" I laughed out loud. "Those suckers are gone!" I looked over to the side, finally noticing Maia had left the passenger's seat. "Hey sweetheart! No need to hide! We're far away from those assholes – they won't be finding us anytime soon!"

I heard her footsteps near the entrance to the cockpit. She suddenly appeared, gripping the walls as she slid in. Her braid had fallen out, making her short brown hair fall in her face. Her eyes looked slightly crazed, but upon meeting mine they became furious. Her lip curled up in a sneer.

"Woah, you don't look so great . . ." I sunk in my seat. "You feeling alright? Was that you who fell out there? I thought it was BB-8."

"Are you insane!?" Maia yelled. "Do you even know how to fly this thing!? I went falling down the hallway!" She stumbled into the cockpit. "They won't stop," she finally said, mentioning her master's. "They'll follow you across the galaxy, through every system until you're dead and I'm returned or brought back." She paced back and forth, her fingers brushing her lips as she bit on the inside of her cheek. "God, I can't believe I followed through with this – I can't believe I was stupid enough to follow you!"

"Sweetheart," I said flicking a switch to put the freighter into autopilot. I got up from the chair, stalking over to her; she stood her ground but I saw the slightest flinch in her flesh. She was hiding her fear. "You're going to a better place – and if you haven't heard, I'm the best damn pilot there has been for a while. I can fly practically anything and whatever you think about me being otherwise you can forget. If it weren't for me, you'd be getting whipped or punished right now, so a thank you would suffice."

"You can't help yourself in being right all the time, can you?" She hissed. "You're a complete tosser." She didn't take her eyes off me. "What are you going to do about the ship now though? Huh?" She cocked her head up. "They blew out an entire engine and we're running low on fuel. Any minute now, this thing could suddenly stop and we'd be picked up by the First Order which is far worse than getting caught by my masters." She let her words sink in; I remained as stoic as possible, hoping she couldn't read through to the worry that suddenly began to plague my mind. Maia took a step closer, her eyes burning into mine. "When they find the Resistance's best pilot and some random girl that the Resistance apparently needs, there's no doubt in my bloody right mind the First Order will use us against the them . . . and guess whose fault that'll be?" She poked my chest. "You. It'll be your fault Poe Dameron. It'll be your damn stupid and idiotic fault."

That threw me over the edge. I peered into her, fuming, angry. "Don't you ever talk to me like that again, sweetheart, you got that?" She crossed her arms over her chest, looking away as I continued. "You can think whatever you want – I'm not telling you I'm right. I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do." I reached out, poking her in the chest as she stared back at me. "I don't have any plans on letting us get caught – I have no intentions of letting this mission go to shit. We're going to get back to the Resistance in one piece. I won't let anything happen to you whatsoever . . . even if you drive me up a wall fuming pissed."

She didn't say anything but stared. I knew I had crossed a line with her. What I thought was going to be easy – saving a girl and wooing her in the process – wasn't at all. I sighed closing my eyes for a moment and stepped away, letting the small aisle to the cockpit open up. "Please," I whispered, "Will you please sit down?"

More silence. I opened my eyes just as Maia walked passed me and BB-8, into the passenger's seat, plopping down. She turned her head to the side, away from me after I returned to the commanding chair. BB-8 went to his small compartment behind us. He didn't utter anything, which was quite the surprise.

A couple moments went between the three of us without talking. Eventually, Maia spoke up, her voice lower and more stoic than it had been moments prior.

"So where are we going, Poe?" Maia fidgeted in her seat, lips pursing like she'd sucked on a sour lemon. Her name on my lips was spoken sarcastically. I tried not to let her sass get to me, but it appeared to be getting under my skin far more than I liked. She ran a hand through her short brown hair. "Definitely not the Resistance Base?"

"We have to fix the engine," I answered, throwing the ship into overdrive for the rest of the engines. With the one out, I had to exert all the other ones to work harder, hoping that they would hold out long enough until we arrived where I planned for us to go.

"Where can we fix the engine?"

"Not on Base. It's too far away." I glanced over at her briefly. "And definitely not on Tatooine."

Maia grumbled fumbling with a loose string on her shirt. I hadn't meant to look, but she was really just dressed in rags. Her shirt was ripped as well as her pants and it seemed that she'd been given the clothes as hand-me-downs when she'd first been chosen by her master's to be a slave. They were almost too small, too short for her – she'd grown in thirteen years; the swell of her chest, which breathed heavy and glistened with sweat; her hips and waist which curved in just the right areas. The cloth was frayed and dirty, stretched and worn. I wondered how uncomfortable she was wearing it or if she was used to the feeling.

She noticed I was looking at her. "What?"

"N-nothing." I shook my head. "Nothing at all. Sorry."

"So can I at least know where you're taking me?"

I wasn't going to lie. Man, was she gorgeous. Her attitude and character was fiery; she was strong and didn't seem to like the idea of backing down from anyone. She didn't like being inferior to me. It made me mad as hell and partially impressed at the same time. She was ravishing.

"Well, as I stated before, we have to fix the engine." I forced the words out, slow. I didn't want to stutter.

"Yes," Maia mused, rolling her eyes. "I know. But where can you fix the engine? Where can we find help?"

I know I wasn't supposed to tell her anything. Simon's promise had remained ingrained in my head and the mission the minute I stepped on the ship and left Base. I didn't think where we were going would give away anything about Maia and this rescue mission – I would simply tell her it was a short stop. We'd fix the engine and be on our way. But there was something else I wanted to do when we arrived. There was something I wanted – needed to ask, and Maia couldn't know about it.

My mind flickered back to the moment with that woman in the bar on Tatooine. The fortune she'd given me, the future, and the prophecy. If I couldn't understand what she meant, I knew there was someone else who would interpret it for me and speak truth.

"Somewhere far away from here."

"You're really specific, you know that?" Maia glared.

"Sweetheart, that's as specific as I'll be on this whole trip." I smirked, winking at her before looking at BB-8. "BB-8! I need you to send a message to a friend . . . "Tell 'em we need their help and we're dropping by for a visit."

I could see Maia staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I didn't want to look at her. I didn't want to make eye contact.

God knows what it would do to me.

"Do you even know what you're doing?" Maia's voice broke through my barrier and I forced myself to not look her way. I could barely see her reflection mirrored in the glass. I could see her staring, looking, gazing straight at me. Her lips were pursed; her face was full of worry. It was the first glimpse of her vulnerability and fear – the first look, maybe even the last look, of her like the little girl in that photo.

The photo of her.

"No," I said quietly, "I don't." I didn't tear my eyes off our path. It would be a matter of time where I'd soon begin to question everything about Maia. Looking at her would throttle me straight towards hell – towards the last place I wanted to be.

"You just have to trust me, alright?" I asked. Who knew how many times I'd said that? Who knew how many more times I'd have to tell her?

She didn't say anything for a few moments and I thought she wouldn't say anything else for the rest of the trip. We were done talking for all I knew.

But then – just simple words they were supposed to be.

"I know."

I don't think she knew the effect she had on me. Nor did she know the way her hand felt on top of mine for that one moment before it was gone and left me yearning for her to hold it again.

What I felt for her had to stop.

Where we were going – who we were going to see – had to cure me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said it once, but I'll say it again - I absolutely love the banter between Maia and Poe:3 hehe. It's so fun to write and I hope you're enjoying the story so far!
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day as well! I hope many of you are enjoying it somehow:)
> 
> Please remember to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW, AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:) I love hearing what you all have to say and think about the story so please don't be shy about commenting! I also love to hear what you all think will happen next! It really makes my day:)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Poe and Maia are only just starting - so much will be happening soon:3 hehe
> 
> All the love, xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	10. Maia

.: MAIA :.

 

Poe Dameron was an interesting man.

Quite frankly, he was unlike most of the men I knew and had ever come into contact with.

Half of me was intrigued with him. The other half wanted to strangle the living daylights out of him.

I'd been sitting in the co-pilot's chair for most of the journey. Who knew how long we'd really been traveling for? My eyes had grown heavy; they drooped. I'd dozed off not long after we took off and Poe and I had quit yelling at one another. By then, the idea of sleep had sounded heavenly. My head had been throbbing, my eyes stung with tears but I hadn't dared to let them pass. The one thing I didn't want was for Poe to see me cry. Although it had been a while since I felt and tasted the salty teardrops streak down my face, have them sting my skin and my cheeks, I felt compelled to suddenly do so. Maybe it was because I was leaving the place I had only known – a place that had been home, but far from it all the same. I felt the sense I was destined for oblivion. I was going far away, never to see the light of day again. Maybe Poe wasn't taking me to the Resistance. Maybe he was taking me to certain death and had made something up to get me to go along with him.

I didn't want to think like that. At the same time, this was an adventure – something that was so unlike anything I had ever imagined. The Resistance wanted me. Me! Of all people. What they wanted from me was a mystery. Why they needed my help was a bigger enigma. Poe hadn't given me a reason – hell he didn't want to talk to me at all. There wasn't much I could say to him anyway. Talking to Poe was like talking to air. He didn't reply. If anything, he stared. Ogled. And it should have made me uncomfortable – sometimes it did. I caught him staring when we were leaving Tatooine. I caught him staring when he thought I didn't know he was. What he thought was sneaky was in fact obvious. I was constantly wondering why he kept doing it. What was so special about me and kept him sneaking glances when he most likely couldn't stand to be in the same room as me?

He'd left the cockpit after sometime and had ventured to some other part of the ship. I tried talking to him but he'd brushed me aside like I was some helpless child that didn't know anything about fixing a ship – the engine to be exact. It was partially true. I didn't know everything about fixing a freighter like this, but in my times of being a slave, I did manage to learn about a few ships and some of the parts – parts I worked to fix and clean and sell to the public so my masters' could make their living and business grow.

I found myself traveling to the cabin of the freighter, sliding into a small booth and curling up. BB-8 had followed me, providing some company to the loneliness that decided to throb and pulse after the receding high of escape from Tatooine and my fighting with Poe had died down.

"So he won't talk to me," I sighed, pulling at my hair. BB-8 sat nearby and I moved closer in front of him. "I'm assuming you won't talk to me either."

The droid was silent for a minute before he replied willingly. A smile tore across my face, spreading wider as I nodded my head, earnestly replying.

"Yes! I told him, but he refuses to believe you were the one that spotted the people after us. I think he needs a dose of humility, don't you agree?"

BB-8 nodded his head. I sighed, turning away, trying to fight the boredom that was building up around me. "Where exactly is it? The place we're heading to?" I looked back again at BB-8. "Who is it we're seeing?"

I could tell he was contemplating on telling me. A couple bleeps later, I was left where I started. I fell back into the small seat feeling defeated.

"It's alright. I understand. He's your master, and you must obey him." He came closer, I assumed, to apologize more but I shooed him away. "Don't pity me, friend. I am more than alright. I am on my way to somewhere better . . . I hope." A smile produced itself on my lips. "Besides, a surprise couldn't hurt me now – I've already been surprised too much today, that I don't think anything else could be a shock."

A noise – loud like clanging – broke the sound barrier. I craned my neck, trying to look down the hallway where Poe had mysteriously gone. I hadn't explored much of the cabin so now was by any means a chance to explore. I stood up, straightening my legs, taking a couple steps towards the clanging. BB-8 followed closely at my heels, not doing anything to stop me. The hallway was dim-lit, cold, and airy. I wrapped my arms around myself, cautiously rounding the corner as I noticed Poe ransacking a room – the mechanical room. It was completely littered; parts and supplies thrown everywhere as he searched a growing pile. Curse words and incoherent mutters passed Poe's lips as I quietly watched, stepping inside the perimeter, studying each and every object that lay in its confinements. BB-8 rolled along, closing in on Poe who startled once the droid reached out and poked him. He recovered, clutching his abdomen wound. His arm was hidden behind the jacket and he noticed me looking before he went back to his studious inspection of ship parts.

"Does it bother you?" I hesitantly asked. I wanted to reach out a hand but stood still. Poe placed his hands on his knees, taking another break and glanced briefly at me. Sweat sheened across his forehead and I wondered if it was because he was still hot from Tatooine or if he was running a fever from infection.

"Not as much as not finding a suitable part to fix the engine. I've looked through the entirety of this room, and can't find anything." He hunched over more, wincing. "Can you run over to the cockpit and check our co-ordinates. I need to know how much longer we have till we arrive."

"Arrive to the great unknown you mean?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "How can I read them and tell you how much time we've got when you won't tell me where it is we're going? Oi! You're a forgetful lot, aren't ya?"

Poe, annoyed, closed his eyes. "BB-8 . . ." Apparently the droid just knew what to do and needed no instructions. He went spinning out of the room without a word.

I looked back at Poe. He was struggling to breathe. I noticed his face had grown paler and his jaw was clenched tight in pain. His hand which wasn't hidden behind his jacket shook violently. I lost to my temptation and rushed to his side, bending beside him and looking into his eyes.

"You're sick. Your wound is infected and you're most likely running a fever. You need to rest."

"I can't rest yet. No." Poe shook his head. He tried to look away but I forced him to look upon me.

"Let me help you." It was easy to force the words out. "Just please let me help you."

"I don't want your help."

"Too bad, you're getting it." I threw his arm around my shoulder and helped him stand up straight. "We're going to the cockpit. Fly the ship to where we're going and once we land we'll get you better help." I reached a hand inside his jacket to try to catch a glimpse of the bandage. "You're bandage seems to be holding up fine, but it won't be able to hold much longer. Don't bother or irritate it, yeah?"

Poe grumbled as we staggered down the hall towards the cockpit. "Whatever you say nurse."

"At least your attitude is still intact." I rolled my eyes, my shoulders tensing and beginning to burn with his weight. "If that had gone, I would seriously be worried."

We made it back to the cockpit and I helped settle Poe into his seat. I then walked over to mine, settling in. BB-8 had gone to his small compartment. We were all in our usual spots; there wasn't anything to say, or do. I fought the urge to say something but whatever it was remained lodged in my throat. Poe just looked devastatingly sick and a part of me yearned to help him – to heal him. Despite the way he treated me, I pitied him. Something lay behind the dark clouded eyes and strong demeanor. Something fearful and hurt. And no matter how hard and how desperate I wanted to know the reasons for his emotional pain, I knew figuring it out would be a whole different puzzle to solve.

A couple moments later a small ringing erupted in the cockpit. Poe glanced down at the screen. "We're nearing the co-ordinates and will be entering the atmosphere." I could barely see a look of panic in his eyes as he read whatever else was on there. "Looks like we've made it just in time – our other back engine is about to go out."

"Aren't you going to do something about it?" My question was interrupted by a sudden burst of speed and light and soon enough we were surrounded in the clouds. Dark, stormy, grey and cumulous. I felt myself crawl further into my seat, growing secretly frightened.

"Where are we?"

"Takodana. It's a planet that's infamous for departures and arrivals for trade routes. I'm hoping we can find some spare parts and help to get the engines working and fixed again so we can continue on." He hissed gently going to touch his side. I wanted to stop him but decided against it. I didn't want to fight. "We're not far from the Resistance Base. A day or two's travel depending on how fast we go." He glanced briefly at me. "Now you know everything."

"Where's the planet?"

"We're in its atmosphere – so in the clouds. You'll be able to see the rest in a moment." A flashing red signal came on and he tore his eyes away to it.

This wasn't good.

After giving up on finding any evidence of the planet, I looked at Poe. He was pressing practically every button in the cockpit. Either this thing was going to crash horrifically or crash and take out another engine. Both were incredibly dangerous – and I knew he was deciding which one would be safest.

"Have any ideas?" He asked, not bothering to look my way. "God, this thing isn't going to let me land it; it seems to want to land itself." I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off before I could say anything and changed the subject.

"Maz Kanata is special. She's wise beyond your imagination and mine. This place of hers has been here for ages and she's helped the Republic and Resistance longer than I've been born and longer than when my parents were around."

"Who's Maz Kanata?"

He pressed a button sounding an alarm to go on throughout the ship. Everything began to shake more furiously. He ignored my question and rather instructed me. "Just do one thing and you'll be good for the time we're here."

I rolled my eyes. "What's that?"

"Don't stare."

"At what?" I was perplexed.

This time, Poe looked straight at me. "At anything."

I was confused. So I simply shrugged my shoulders and turned away. "Alright. Anything you say."

"Hey," Poe interjected. He made me look at him, his face slightly annoyed. "Don't sass me."

"I'm not." I spit the words out. "Stop being insecure."

Poe laughed. "Insecure!? You think I'm insecure!?" I could sense his denial. "Woo-hoo sweetheart you're pushing it."

The cockpit shook; I glanced out the window to see suddenly so much green beneath the clouds in little breaks. Tall billowing trees, open grassy fields, water – as long and wide as my eyes could see. I spotted a small area just near the shore; Poe was aiming to land there.

"You sure that's a good idea?" I asked. I clutched the handles on the seat, clenching my jaw.

"Well as far as I'm concerned it's the only place we can land this thing. We don't want any allies of the First Order finding this or any allies of your masters back home." The ship was losing altitude; Poe rammed down on the lever causing us to drop even further. I could barely hear BB-8 squeal as he tumbled down the cockpit aisle and toward the cabin.

"Hang on BB-8!" Poe called out assuring him. "We're almost there!"

I peered over, looking out the window; with each second we were falling further and further towards an imminent crash which either meant my death or serious maiming. I wanted to shut my eyes, hold on as tight as I could and hope for the best. I wanted to fly away – I wanted to disappear. When I was little and had first started out as a slave, I would lay awake at night and hope and pray that someday I'd disappear – that I'd fly away. When I was scared – when the men on Tatooine were urging me to go to bed with them or threaten to hurt me if I disobeyed them, I would run as fast as my feet could carry me and pray and hope and wish that somehow I could leave the mess I lived in and never come back. Somehow, in thirteen years and not knowing my origins, not knowing where I came from, who my family was, who I was, I never thought it would come to this. I never thought I would be able to get so far and then have all of it come to nothing. No. I didn't want that. I wanted freedom. I wanted answers. I wanted the power to control my life and the choices I made. I wanted to know how it really felt to be alive and to love and live.

All of that lay in a damn pilot's hands. A pilot who seemed to change my world leaving me to figure out if it was for better or for worse.

Who knew how he landed the ship. All I remember was finally opening my eyes to witness my last few moments without pain before I was wiped out in a crash. Except what I saw wasn't a crash landing and us going up in smokes. What I saw was a shaking pilot land a freighter ship bumpily along the shore, causing me to fall out of my seat as he slammed on the breaks so we wouldn't go rolling into the lake. I must have been screaming because when we came to a sudden stop and all you could see was steam coming from the engines and smoke and vapor mixing in with the air, Poe elatedly fell against his pilot's seat in relief and sighed while saying, "Finally. You stopped screaming." His voice was softer and I knew he was becoming weaker. BB-8 had moseyed his way out of his compartment, beeping in delight at our arrival.

"We need to get off the ship," Poe sighed gently. He pushed himself up, his breathing heavy and pained. He didn't bother to help my shaken and crumpled self-off the floor but headed out of the cockpit with BB-8 close behind. It took me a moment to regain myself. My head was foggy and clouded – pounding with pain, and my throat was dry and scratchy from screaming. I brushed my hair out of my face and pushed myself up onto all fours before I stood. My legs were shaky and as I began to walk – hurrying up to Poe – I felt like a child learning to take their first steps. The platform had already lowered and I stepped down onto the fresh soil and shore only to be awe-struck by what I saw.

I'd never dreamt of this much green in my lifetime after seeing plaster and sand and the bright blue sky in the desert. The overcast clouds hanging above us were practically a blessing – keeping the sun away and hidden from my dried and tanned skin. The water lapped at the surface making a rushing sound and I inhaled the fresh and open air like I inhaled my meal after a long hard day of working in the deserted fields or heat in Tatooine.

Takodana was absolutely beautiful.

"You hungry?" I was distracted by Poe who touched my arm, releasing me from my stance. I flinched, removing his arm and stepped away. His eyes dilated, and creases lined his forehead. For a moment, I thought I recognized hurt in his eyes.

"Yes. There's food?"

"Maz's castle is just up ahead. She'll have plenty of food for us. I'm also hoping she'll have the parts we need to fix the ship." He cocked his head, motioning me to follow him up towards a small walkway. Behind a grove of trees I noticed the smallest towers rising above them. Maz's castle.

"Don't worry." It was Poe again. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you . . . You're safe."

"I know," I replied, forcing the words to sound harsh. My eyebrows drew in together. "You don't have to keep telling me that."

He didn't say anything for a moment but instead stepped away. With his back turned away from me, we all began walking towards the castle. Poe spoke up, his voice carrying towards me as I trudged behind him. "Remember what I told you. Don-"

"Yes, don't stare. At anything. I get it! Oi, you really have to repeat yourself a lot, don't you?" My hands were sweaty and I wiped them on my ragged clothes. My stomach felt constricted, tight around the stretched fabrics. They'd been the only things I'd had since I had first been sold. As I grew older, I made arrangements and alterations so they could fit me more. By now if I did anything else, the clothing would tear and rip. I'd have nothing left.

We walked the ways up the small hill and eventually made it to the castle. The structure was entirely made out of stone, rising high up – higher than some trees. Not only that but upon walking through the entrance, exquisite and beautifully adorned flags hung over – stretched across one wall to the next. Above the big brass red door of the castle entrance was a statue of what I could only assume was Maz.

The door seemed to open upon our arrival and already I could hear the loud horns and strings of music; the deep baritone voice singing above the others that talked and immersed themselves in conversation. The room was dark lit, smoke was hazy and seemed to rise above and sit just below the ceiling in a small cloud. Creatures and people alike, pranced around the bar, huddled at tables and booths and in corners. The clashing and clanging of glasses and drinks were mixed in with the loud toasts being proclaimed. My eyes traveled everywhere in the room, already forgetting about what Poe had ordered me to do.

Everyone must have noticed, because just as we were descending the steps into the bar, everything and everyone stopped. Silence suddenly rang louder than the previous music and voices. Poe froze on the steps, holding his arm out to stop me as BB-8 hid behind him. I couldn't help it; my eyes continued to search around the room, looking for the woman who resembled the statue at the entrance to the castle. I could tell Poe was searching for her as well. In this silence, sooner or later someone would speak and give way to the matters at hand. I waited, hands clenched at my sides, knowing every eye in the room was on me.

I finally spotted a moving figure coming from the back. A tray was raised high in their hands and they seemed to be the only one in the room that didn't care to have their voice heard amongst silence. Eventually it rounded a short corner in the bar and my eyes widened at the sight. Maz Kanata. The woman we'd been wanting to see – well the woman Poe had been wanting to see. She was short – shorter than I expected. With wrinkled yellow skin and small eyes that were enlarged by the glasses which she wore on her head. She held on to the tray moving her way through the frozen crowd and stopped almost instantly when she found Poe standing on the steps, looking tired and worn and helpless.

It was when she noticed I was standing next to Poe that her eyes widened behind the glasses and she clasped a hand to her chest. The room had been quiet for some time and all eyes had been trained on us. I could tell Poe was tired, his eye was bruised, his hand was behind his jacket again, holding his bandage which was most likely coming undone. Sweat and blood from earlier had dried on his head. His blood which had spilt on the ship's floor was smeared on my clothes. We were a sight to see that was for sure.

"Poe Dameron," Maz's voice spoke without hesitance. She took a step towards us, placing her tray of glasses down on a table. "I thought you were on your way back to the Resistance."

Poe stifled a wince; he pretended to come off nonchalant as the corners of his lips stretched into a tired smirk. "I thought I'd stop by to offer my thanks, Maz. I also need help with my ship."

"Your ship?" Maz scoffed, "please tell me you didn't travel with her in your x-wing!" She pointed at me, noting my existence.

Poe shook his head. "No Maz . . . I took a freighter. Except one of the engines was hit when we were leaving Tatooine." He suppressed a groan as BB-8 nudged him. "Think you got some extra supplies and can help?"

Maz walked through the small aisle that led over to the short flight of stairs which we stood on. She climbed the couple steps, reaching us. Poe nudged my side; I realized I was staring and tried to look away, but was shocked to find Maz had reached out, catching my hand in hers and grasping on to it tight. I couldn't fight myself as my eyes fell upon hers, looking through the glasses at the black orbs which seemed to study and know me far more than I knew myself. I could barely see Poe stiffen beside me out of the corner of my eye. He was mad, angry I disobeyed him. But it was the squeezing of Maz's hand – the warmth that spread from her to me that caused me to look and stare and study her too. Who was this woman? Why was she so important? How did Poe know who she was?

"You have questions my child. I feel them." Her voice was quiet, and I was stunned, waiting for her to continue. Poe was looking straight ahead. Although he heard every word that came out of her mouth, he dare didn't show he did. Maz squeezed my hand again and then pulled lightly, leading me down the steps.

"Come now. Let's get you cleaned up. It is only fit that I may serve you and answer the questions you've been dying to ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well you finally found out who they went to see:D Maz Kanata! A few people had predicted correctly so congrats! hehe:)
> 
> Things are picking up people - It's only a matter of time before something HUGE happens:3 
> 
> So remember to VOTE, COMMENT, ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS AND FOLLOW:) I love seeing what you guys think is going to happen and how you're liking the story so let me know with a little comment at the bottom. It really means a lot:)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I can't wait for you all to see what's next:3
> 
> All the love, xoxo, 
> 
> Holly:)


	11. Poe

.: POE :.

 

Why did she always have to go against what I said or told her?

I mean, she'd been raised for thirteen years to follow orders and not disobey. And now, the minute she's freed she has to forge her own path. Forget what I ever told her or said – to Maia I wasn't the boss. For all she knew, she was free to go her own way and do what she pleased.

At some point, I wouldn't be surprised if she got us killed.

God forbid if I died on this mission.

Maz returned a while later to the bar but without Maia. It didn't take long to notice that BB-8 was also missing and I gave Maz a look as she grabbed my wrist and led me through a back door and out of the bar.

"Let's go find you some parts." Her voice was scratchy, dry. She pulled gently as we walked down a new hallway, the sound of voices from the bar fading far behind us. Maz let go of my hand, letting me follow her now as she scurried further down the dim lit path. The light tread of her footsteps sounded soft. My boots clanked on the floor, my body was sore. We rounded a corner and Maz walked quickly over to a door, pulling out a set of keys and unlocking it before pushing it open and urging me to walk in. I gave her a brief glance before ducking inside.

"I thought you said we were going to get parts." We clearly weren't in the mechanic room. We were in the medical room.

"Your friend told me you needed aiding to. I'm simply doing what she told me." Maz pointed to a small bed. "Sit."

There was no getting past this. I gave up the urge to resist and fight and trudged over to the small bed before plopping down.

"Jacket and shirt off," Maz ordered. She began opening cabinets recovering supplies as I removed both items of clothing.

"How'd you know she's Simon's daughter when you sent the message to the Resistance?" I finally spoke up, breaking the silence. Maz closed the cupboards, her back to me as she got all the supplies ready to bring over. A sterile scent filled the room and I scrunched my nose up.

"I have a friend over on Tatooine. She's been there for some time and had met Maia many times." She turned around, carrying over a small tray of medical equipment, burn cream and alcohol. "I hadn't spoken to her in some time until she told me. I knew of the Colonel's missing daughter but didn't understand the whole story. I inquired with my friend in Tatooine if she heard of a young woman who'd been there for thirteen years or so. When word came from her, I figured by alerting the Resistance someone would go get her and bring her back." Maz swabbed a cloth with alcohol. "This is going to sting but don't flinch."

"Who was the woman – OW!" I tried not to flinch as a burning sensation suddenly spread throughout my body. I looked at Maz. "Is it supposed to feel that way?"

"Yes. Your friend – she's smart. She wrapped this bandage up good. If you didn't have her you'd be very sick now."

"She's not my friend." I rolled my eyes. "I'm just taking her back to her father. I'm doing my job. That's it. Call her Maia, will ya?"

"Yes. You may be doing your job, but that's not all it." She wrapped a clean new bandage over the wound. The stitches which had broken open were replaced with new ones. "Don't touch them anymore until you return to Base. The stitches will dissolve when the wound has healed." She went on to the burns on my arms, smothering cream on to them which instantly felt soothing. "You saw my friend on Tatooine did you not?"

"What friend? The one who told you about Maia?" The moment the question was out, I instantly regretted it, for I knew who she meant.

The woman at the bar.

The fortune teller.

"The woman! The one who's face was . . ." I let my voice trail off as Maz gave me a look. I shied away sheepishly. "Oh. Sorry. I just never got her name."

"It's okay. She prefers to not give it out." She wrapped bandages around my burns. "You can take these off in the morning. Your burns should be gone by then."

"Thank you, Maz." I was grateful for her help.

"Poe, you volunteered to go on this mission, did you not?" Maz's question hung in the air for a moment before I decided to answer. I could tell she was forging down a path she wanted to conquer – not go around and avoid.

"Yes. I did."

There was a brief pause before she asked the next question.

"Why?"

She had a point. I mean, initially I did it because it sounded like the right thing to do. Being the best pilot in the Resistance, everyone wanting me to go – not wanting to volunteer themselves because in all honesty wasn't a mission for the Resistance but for a man to be reunited with his daughter. Yes General Organa was looking for her brother Luke, but she believed by in finding him, the Resistance could destroy the First Order. Bringing back Maia to Simon in no way helped us with our war. It was a different mission altogether. And knowing I'd get more credit, more respect, receiving a hefty award and more recognition was another reason I volunteered. Proving myself in other missions was easy. What did this one prove for me?

I didn't know what to tell Maz so I said the only thing I could think of in the moment. "I figured it was a good cause to support. Simon is the Colonel – he demands and deserves his respect. By doing this, I rank myself higher than the other commanders and pilots of the Resistance."

Maz had stepped back, finished with her job and I threw on my shirt and jacket. I remained sitting on the bed, waiting for her to respond. Her hands were placed on her hips, she'd been peering intensely; I forced myself not to make eye contact. I knew she was reading me now. She knew I was lying, but I wondered if she would say anything about it.

"I sense something in you Poe. I don't know what it is exactly, but I sense something dark – something fearful. I know General Organa and the Resistance praise your works and what you aide them with, but I can't help but feel you are conflicted with yourself and you do not know where to go or turn. You crave adventure – that is clear as day. You crave attention from your fellow comrades. But what I wonder is if you are afraid of what may be coming. The woman on Tatooine – you lied to her to obey Simon and protect Maia. But she told you something you don't dare say aloud." Maz closed in on me. "Poe, it's time you really listen to what she told you. Feel it. Don't deny it." She reached out a hand and grasped mine. "I see the way you look at Maia – I can sense your feelings. Don't resist what is supposed to happen. Embrace it." She squeezed my hand, her face close and desperate to tell me what she believed was the truth.

I tore my hand out of hers. "How do you know? I've only just met her!" I looked away. "This mission was supposed to be simple and straightforward. We should be back at the Resistance by now. And I wouldn't be wondering about anything that's happened." I thought briefly about the General and what she said to me before I left. For when I returned from this trip, she'd be sending me out on a secret one. Designed only for me.

"How are you so sure?" Maz asked, rendering me back to our conversation.

"Because my mind works like everything I do is a business." I hissed, suddenly growing angry with her. "I work for the Resistance because I want justice against the First Order. The Resistance is the only group that will defend us! And I will fight till my last breath for them. All the other missions are easy business that I get rewarded with when I return. The reward behind this one is massive. Huge. I couldn't let it down. I don't see Maia as anything more than precious cargo, Maz. I'm only protecting her for the sake of Simon." I shook my head, looking down. "I promised him that I would bring his daughter back safe. I promised him that I wouldn't tell Maia about the reason I rescued her." I looked back at Maz. "That's it. That's all of it. I'm just returning her to her father and then I'm done. Nothing else."

It was silent. I knew Maz was only watching me, trying to decipher if my words were truth or not. Either way, she would figure it out and continue on with helping me. The conversation was done. There was nothing else that needed to be said or confessed. There had been no reason in the first place to bring it up. It made me mad. Angry. Why did she think she had a right to delve into my mind and read my thoughts? What gave her the right to confront me about things she hadn't witnessed, experienced or seen for herself? The purpose for stopping here was to fix the damn ship and then be on our way; it wasn't therapy.

My head ached. After seething at Maz, I began to feel the weight of exhaustion. Behind Maz I found a small mirror and caught a glimpse of myself in it. I looked defeated. Tired. Like all I wanted to do was go to sleep and not wake up. Blood still stained my forehead and my right eye was bruised. I turned away from the mirror and Maz. I was ready to move on.

It was Maz's gentle pat on my leg that caused me to lift my head. A soft smile played on her lips as she nodded her head at the door. The previous moments were forgotten. But for how long? Sooner or later, I knew they would return.

I just wanted it all to stop.

Maz spoke tenderly. This time her voice sounded warm; calm and peaceful. "Come along now." She waved her hand for me to follow, going towards the door. I stood from the bed trailing behind. "Let's go find you some parts to fix your ship, alright?" This time, she was telling the truth. We weren't going to confront anything else tonight. "You will be on your way soon."

_______

We fixed the ship in no time. Maz found some workers who I paid with the spare change I had brought on the trip in case anything like this were to happen to fix the freighter. The plan was to leave early in the morning and arrive back at the Resistance Base within a day or two. Since the ship was running on old parts that replaced the broken ones, I couldn't risk moving too fast on the trip back. If another engine went out we'd be in trouble. There wasn't anywhere safe to stop again. The best thing was to go slow and hope we wouldn't be stopped or attacked by smugglers or the First Order. The freighter couldn't take a full on battle. Arriving back at the Resistance would be a miracle in itself.

I hadn't seen Maia since Maz had taken her away when we arrived and I wondered what she was up to. BB-8 had returned when we were working on the ship and upon finishing joined me back to the bar to eat and rest after I showered and cleaned up. I'd found myself sitting on a stool, opposite the stage where I got a view of the musicians. I ordered a drink and had been nursing it for some time while BB-8 stayed by my side or wandered around the room. He was careful and I made sure to keep my eyes on him as well in case trouble broke out.

After some time I was starting to worry about Maia. I hadn't seen her at all and despite looking through the crowd and around the perimeter of the bar every now and then, I couldn't stop the slight fear that crept up. No more was I worrying as much about BB-8, but rather the thought someone from Tatooine had followed us here and had taken Maia. I downed the last of my drink and ordered a second one just as I noticed Maz walking into the bar.

"Maz!" I lifted a hand, waving her over. She noticed me, dropped a few glasses on her tray and moved on towards me. I bounced off my stool, fresh drink in hand, shouting through the loud music.

"Have you seen Maia? I can't find her!"

"Yes!"

"Well where is she?" My voice grew louder as a profound bass began playing and the crowd shouted out and applauded.

"Why don't you look up and see for yourself?" Maz yelled back, clearly annoyed, urging me to look up as she pointed over my shoulder. Confused, I turned around to see whatever she was directing me towards.

Maia walked out from a room near the back bar, dressed differently. I did a double-take, almost not recognizing her and taken aback by how much she changed with just a simple wash. Her hair was combed, short, just touching her shoulders and still lightly damp from her shower and curling naturally. Her skin which had seemed so tanned and dirty was now porcelain pale – so soft and shiny that you'd think a simple touch anywhere on her body would make her go dull. Her face was rid of the dirt and grime, showing pink and rosy cheeks that matched the color of her lips, and dark brown eyes that glistened so you could barely even find the pupils. She wore a long-sleeved dress – maroon red – that just passed the knee, accompanied by black stockings to cover her legs and ballet flats. It was totally different from the rags and barefoot young woman I had found on Tatooine – and even though I'd found her gorgeous there, nothing was stopping me from thinking the same thing as she neared the bar where I sat. Maz had disappeared somewhere, leaving Maia to squander her way through the large mass and crowds. No one bothered to stop her; she'd blended in just like everybody else. Her eyes landed on me just as I was taking a sip from my drink. She bit her lip, ducking her head as she neared. I slid the glass away, putting up two fingers to the bartender to order some more.

"You look much better," she said as she arrived. She tucked her dress in as she sat on the stool and placed both elbows on the table top before looking at me. "How's your wound?"

"Doesn't hurt as much," I said quietly, nodding to the bartender in gratitude as two drinks arrived. Maia stared confused for a couple moments until I urged her on. "Go on; it's for you."

"I realize that," she replied, her hands gently enclosing around it. "It's just –" She gave me a brief look, blushing. "You didn't have to order me one."

"Why's that?"

"I feel like I should be buying you one."

I scoffed. "With what?"

Maia shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. It's just you've done so much for me – I feel as if I've done nothing to repay you for all the dangers you've faced and the moments you risked yourself for me." She glanced towards the drink. "I'm realizing now a drink would not suffice for what you've done."

"A drink suffices for anything I've done." I took another gulp. "You don't need to thank or repay me. I'm doing my job."

I saw her eyes dull around the edges and her lips which had risen slightly fall. She didn't respond to my remarks but instead indulged in her drink. Around the bar, laughter, bellowing, shouts and bursts of joy were heard. I remarked on what Maz had told me earlier – about Maia. About how I was in denial and rebuttal about my situation with her. I didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to see and by God I did not want to feel it. That's why the words I said to Maia were cruel; why my actions towards her were unkind. I fought my feelings and I fought myself when I said them. I'd been surprised she'd put up with it for so long. As my thoughts wandered, so did my eyes. The dress she was wearing accentuated her curves and mold of her body. Her sharp features were more prominent. I felt a lump in my throat, my jaw clenched. I wanted to tear my eyes away from her – to resist but I couldn't. Something kept me locked in. Something wanted me to keep watching her – to keep looking and studying every inch I could make out. As if the time I spent with her wasn't enough, I found I suddenly craved more.

I thought of the woman – in the bar on Tatooine. Maz's friend. Her words again reverberated in my mind. All that stuff about taking my heart, flesh, blood and bones. Running away but returning. Finding Maia wherever I went. Finding her purpose. What purpose? Maia had a purpose? All she was was precious cargo to return to Simon. She wasn't something the Resistance needed. She was simply an item that needed returning to its rightful state. If anything, that was her purpose – nothing for me. I was her courier. And after she was safe and home, that would be it. We'd never see each other again.

Maia must have been trying to get my attention because the next thing I knew, she was tugging on my arm gently, leading me away from the bar.

"Let's dance," she said giddily, "just one song and then I'll let you go."

Music was playing and already people were out on the floor, moving their bodies, dancing to the rhythm, singing along and not having a care in the world for who was watching as I tried to resist Maia. Her hand had traveled down to mine as she led me towards the stage. There was no point in withstanding her request. We weaved our way through the bodies until we reached the center and she reached up to place a hand on my shoulder; my hand went to her waist as our other ones molded together. She looked up, her eyes widening barely, and her frame stiffening but soon relaxing as a new song started up and we both began to sway.

"Remember when we were hiding in that alley on Tatooine before we escaped to the ship?" Maia asked as we softly danced. I jutted my chin out, trying to reimagine what she said, nodding as I recalled.

"Yes. Why're you asking?"

"Well, hold me like that, Poe." The last time she'd said my name, it was like venom on her tongue. This time when she said it, it was like hearing a song. Maia's hand gripped mine. Her eyes bored into mine. "Hold me like that for this song and don't let go."

For once, she didn't have to ask me again, and I let myself succumb more to the one feeling I had wanted to refuse.

I wrapped her close to me, feeling her breathe – the rise and fall of her chest. Pressed to me and not intent on pushing away. She sighed, almost comforting and I found myself closing my eyes as the strings of a new song began.

One song had ended.

And I still hadn't let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up!!!!!:3 Gahhh, I can't contain the excitement!!! Part of me seriously wishes that this was canon, but *sigh* a girl can only dream:3
> 
> So what are your thoughts?:3 I'd love to know so COMMENT below. Also remember to VOTE, ADD TO YOUR READING LIST AND FOLLOW:)
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I can't wait for you all to read and see what's coming! This has been such a fun story to write for you all:)
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)


	12. Maia

.: MAIA :. 

Something had overcome me when I dragged him on to the floor to dance. I didn't know what it was – it was unfamiliar and foreign. I'd never felt impulsive like that. Especially with what I said as we began dancing. Like what the hell, Maia!? Poor bloke probably doesn't know what to do.

Or maybe he feels the same way.

Poe was hard to decipher, and no matter how persistent I was in trying to figure him out and solve him, I always came to the same dead end. Nothing. No answers. He was mysterious and he used his confidence, pride and cockiness to hide the darkness beneath. A figure so dark, so hidden and private didn't sound like one who would work for the Resistance – for the Light Side. But yet, I trusted him. I believed his intentions were good. It was his past and his present that kept him from revealing his true self. It was his actions – actions he made himself do – that kept him hidden.

When we arrived at Maz's castle, I hadn't planned to get most of my questions answered by Maz. I hadn't expected to sit with a cuppa huddled in a small confined room surrounded by comforters and drapes and pillows, listening to the wise woman's words and also getting to hear a little bit of Poe's past. His mother died when he was young; he left the Republic for the Resistance knowing that they would be the true ones to take down the First Order; he was the best pilot General Organa had and would do anything for her; he always succeeded and never failed; he was brave.

But then she said the same thing I had been thinking.

He was incredibly scared, but of what?

So it wasn't just me that was stuck in a bloody rut. Well, that was nice to know.

I'd rested for the first time in what seemed like forever. Scrubbing the dirt, grime and blood off my body, ridding of the scraps of clothing that lay on my back for years, rubbing the oils and lotions on my skin and instantly feeling relief. It was like being reborn. I finally saw myself in the mirror as who I'd become. A woman – with high cheekbones, poignant curves and full lips. My hair was short – cut to my shoulder every year to keep it from growing longer for money. Now, I could grow it as long as I wanted. I could go wherever I wanted. I could be whoever I wanted.

I was free.

Free. A simple one syllable word that holds a large and vast definition – that can mean so much on so many levels.

I pulled my head away from Poe's chest as another song began. Four whole songs later and we still were like this. I looked at him, noticing the way his eyes had remained closed – the bruises on his face were fading. My hands traveled to his jacket where I could faintly feel the bandage on his abdominals. A breath of air hitched in my throat as his gripped tightened on me. I looked up. Eyes still closed. He was humming. He had a soft, sweet and gentle voice. I pressed my head back to his chest, feeling the vibration of his murmuring and the heartbeat that pounded incessantly and powerfully.

I found myself not wanting this to end. I squeezed his torso a little tighter, closing my eyes and sighing. The jazzy tunes were swirling in and out of the depths of my ears. Everything seemed to swim out of focus except the two of us.

It happened like a flash. All too soon, it was somehow over and the moment which had for once seemed so close and viable – so worth the fights and banters – was gone.

He was gone. No longer a gentle and timid and careful man. He was back to normal. He was back to being a pilot.

He was back to being Poe.

"I've got to go." Poe shrugged my arms off of him and he pulled away, his eyes going from dazed to focused. He looked everywhere else but not at me.

I bit my lip. "Yes. You should rest. You need it more than I do."

"We'll be leaving in the morning." Poe stepped away from the crowd and me. He was tipsy – and he stumbled in his steps. "Go to sleep, Maia."

There he was again – telling me what I had to do. I felt a sting in my eyes, my hands clenched into fists and I sucked in a deep breath of air. My chest rose and fell as I exhaled and watched him walk away. My lips quivered. To keep my eyes from leaking, I blinked for what must have been a while until I tore my eyes away from his moving figured and looked around the rest of the room. No one had seemed to notice us; no one had been watching us as we danced and were soon ripped apart. The only witnesses were the victims. There was no suspect. Poe and I were victims in two very different ways.

I eventually let my eyes return to where they started; staring in front of me on the dancefloor. The small space between people dancing was now empty. Poe had disappeared in a matter of seconds, leaving me standing in an open space with my hands still clenched at my sides and vulnerable to those around me. He had dismissed himself and there was no trace of him and his slight drunken state to know he had been here. I turned my head as a loud shout of voices and more bodies flooded the dance floor. Suddenly everything around me felt constricted and closed-in. I pushed my way out of the crowds and towards the edge where eventually I caught sight of Maz, collecting more glasses at a nearby table. I strolled over to the table, joining her; picking up crumpled napkins and dirty plates, pushing my thoughts of Poe away.

"You should be having fun," Maz said not bothering to look my way. "Your freedom is something to be celebrated. Going back to your old ways should not."

"It's habit now I'm afraid." I tipped a plate, smearing a small stain on the dress. Maz noticed.

"Put some cold water on it. It'll be good as new."

"Thank you. I'll take the advice."

"Where's Poe? I thought I saw him drinking earlier?" Maz lifted her head, looking around the room. "He's one of those folks that seem like they'd be up all night. Those Resistance pilots sure know how to celebrate. Some come here and make a complete mess." She shrugged her shoulders. "He asked for you. Did you see him go?"

"Yes. He was tired and returned to his bed."

"He wasn't tired," Maz commented, "he was drunk." She shook her head, picking up the tray as we both moved to the next table and began to cleanup. "The man drinks too much."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"It's plain on his face. He wears the weariness of his past and his present on his shoulders. He cannot stop himself from being who he is, and he is constantly in denial facing the truths he refuses to confront." Maz paused, placing the tray down, stopping all her work as she looked at me. "I tried to speak with him today but he wouldn't say a word. He's a troubled soul, I feel and it worries me . . . when you are with him, what is it you feel?"

I opened and closed my mouth. How could I say it? Were there really any words that could describe my feelings? Maz kept looking at me, her eyes staring – boring themselves into me. I bowed my head, afraid to say what I wanted to out loud.

"I'm – I'm not sure. It just feels – it feels different." I tried to rephrase my words. "Not a bad different. It just feels unlike anything I've felt before in the sense where I feel the safest when I'm with him. I feel like nothing can touch me – nothing can get to me. Anything and everything has to go through him first." I shook my head. "Bloody hell, what am I saying?" I stopped cleaning afraid to do anything else as I sat myself down in a chair.

"You are telling the truth, child. That is the most important thing anyone can say." Maz slid in to the chair opposite of mine. She reached out, taking my hand in hers. "I sense you are afraid. Why?"

I bit my lip, straining. "I dunno. It's strange. I feel safe with him, but what I fear most is what he's hiding. What he's too afraid to show."

Maz cocked her head to the side, listening intently. She squeezed my hand gently as reassurance. "Poe Dameron is a man with a past he refuses to believe. His mother – like I told you before – passed away when he was just a child. It left him devastated. His mother was his world – she taught him the very essence of flying and when she passed-" Maz reencountered her words, "well let's just say he changed and became a man who knew very little about what it means to truly feel. Yes," she nodded her head, "he is the best pilot the Resistance has ever seen and he has a talent that is very hard to reach. Many other pilots envy him. But the reason Poe does what he does is so that he may not encounter what is truly set out and made for him. He forces himself to take up missions and journeys that will take him far and away." Maz raised a hand, showing the expanse she meant. "Little did he know this time he would eventually confront and be faced with the hardest task he could ever receive. Little does he know the dangers of what it means to love when you believe you cannot.

"I must be going, and you must be getting to bed soon." Maz let go of my hand as she rose from the table, taking up her tray. I rose with her, going to collect the rest of the supplies but she held up a hand to stop me. "No. Leave the rest of the stuff there. It will be taken care of." She walked around to where I stood and produced the hint of a smile as she smoothed out a wrinkle in my dress.

What I had thought earlier – Maz being as confused as I was about Poe – was wrong.

She knew everything.

"You are a gift to him, Maia," Maz said quietly, "but let him realize that on his own."

_______

I lay awake that night staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours. What had seemed so stable, so right, so perfect had been torn apart in a matter of seconds. I continued to toss and turn for the remainder of those few hours of sleep. Although my body begged for rest, my eyes refused to shut and my brain refuted the idea to slow down. I craved the feel of Poe's body against mine and felt the urge to get up and go to his room. But God knows the results that would bring and so I remained with my back pressed to the soft mat and my eyes wide open. Maz's words continued to repeat in my mind and the fear of letting the truth out was suddenly overwhelming. I clutched the loose sheets and blankets. I grasped them as if my life depended on it and I bit my lip to suppress the cries that begged to be let out. My emotions were toying with me. And when I finally did fall asleep, there was oh so little time before I would have to be awakened.

It was Poe who finally woke me up. Nudged me awake. At first it was the bright rays of light streaming through the drapes into the darkened room. Then another push. I craned my neck, eyes fluttering open. Poe stood above the bed, glowering down at me; dressed and ready to leave.

"We leave in twenty minutes." His voice was unwavering and stoic. "Get up and dressed. Maz has prepared our meal to go."

"And the ship?" I asked, crawling out from under the duvet and standing on my wobbling two feet. "It's all fixed?"

"It'll get us to Base," Poe replied. He didn't look at me as he stopped at the door which had been cracked open. I could see his shoulders tense. He was forcing himself to look away from me. "Please get dressed, Maia."

He hadn't said my name since the first time he saw me. And that was right before he passed out. I watched him push the door open as I scrounged around for my clothes from last night. I pushed my short hair into a small bun and checked myself over in the mirror when I was properly ready to go. Purple rings lay under my eyes and my cheeks still looked sunken in. There wasn't much I could do to make myself look any better. I retreated from the mirror and went to grab my bag full of supplies before exiting the room. I walked out into the bar shortly after and saw Poe and Maz near the entrance. The doors were wide open, welcoming in the sun and breezy air. Upon spotting me, Poe clenched his jaw and nodded his head. Maz must have noticed for she acknowledged my presence happily and raced down the steps to greet me with a small basket filled with food and plenty of other items.

"Take these. You should be able to get by with them on the journey back."

"Thank you." I smiled down at her, not knowing what else I could do or say. "I also want to thank you for last night. Our talk. It helped me greatly." I reached out for her hand and squeezed it. "I think I'm a bit more prepared for this part of the trip."

"You will know what to do when the moment comes," Maz replied. There was a faint smile being produced on her lips. "I feel your spirit. You are not one to wait. You are not one to waver." She squeezed my hand one last time. "You are strong. Remember that."

After saying goodbye to Maz, we began to make the short trek back to the ship. BB-8 who hadn't been around this morning, joined us. He remained at my side, hushing out little bleeps and questions to which I provided the information and answers he desired. No, we couldn't stay another day. Yes, the freighter should get us back to the Base in the next couple days. Of course Poe was in his original moody and brooding behavior. There was nothing we could do to stop it. The droid really was a good bit of company. I enjoyed his snarky comments about his master and could sense the appreciation and loyalty he also possessed for Poe. But I think BB-8 also knew that his master was struggling. Both of us didn't know the answer to that mystery, and even though it was one we wanted to figure out, it most likely would remain hidden for some time.

The freighter was where we had kept it. Although this time all the engines had been repaired to some extent and looked trustworthy enough to get us back to the Base. I climbed aboard the ship – the silence between Poe and I was unstable. Well at least my mind and thoughts seemed to be thinking that. I sunk into a small booth located in the center of the ship and outside of the cockpit. Poe placed his small bag of supplies in a nearby room – his bunk I presumed – and then stalked into the cockpit, remaining stoic and silent. BB-8 on the other hand appeared to be by my side; studying both Poe and I with great interest. When Poe was out of sight and earshot, he swiveled his head to me, quietly bleeping out a couple questions to which I smoothed a hand along his side and smiled softly.

"I wish I knew the answer my friend. I truly do." I retreated my hand as Poe appeared, the sounds of the engines were running and they seemed to be fine. He stared at his droid and me, hands placed firmly on his hips. He nodded to the droid to follow him while he studied me before turning away back into the pit. Not a word. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach that had flushed and chased away the hope that had built up moments prior, thinking he would finally say something. But it was no use. Nothing.

Was that all I was ever going to get from this moment forward?

Had last night been the only time I would ever see Poe Dameron as vulnerable and helpless as I thought he was?

The freighter rose into the air and I stayed seated in the booth. I couldn't catch the glimpse from outside but imagined us higher above the trees and water and Maz's castle –

Maz.

You are not one to wait. You are not one to waver. You are strong.

She was right.

What was I doing sitting here? Making a fool of myself and straying from what was really meant to be and what should happen? How could I let myself fall and hide in the midst of something that doesn't deserve to be kept inside any longer? I was strong. I would not waver beneath my fear; I would not waver amidst the truth and what needed to be said.

I stood up, minimizing the shaking in my bones and forced myself to recognize the truth.

Because it was going to take a hell of a lot to help Poe realize it as well.

And I wasn't going to give up until he believed it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG we're getting so close to the moment! I can hardly contain my excitement!:3 hehe, I hope you all are as excited as I am!
> 
> Midterms are coming up so it may be hard to update in these next couple of weeks so heads up for that! Also, I will be in Disneyland during Spring Break and it will probably be hard to update while I'm there too, but if I catch some offtime, I'll write like crazy so you all can have something when I get back:)
> 
> Remember to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW AND ADD TO YOUR READING LIST:D I really want to see what you all think is going to happen! So don't be afraid to comment:) xoxo
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! It's about to take a huge turn so be prepared! 
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)


	13. Maia

.: MAIA :.

 

Walking into the cockpit, I felt a sense of uneasiness. The air had suddenly felt colder; the room felt closer and more confined. Poe sat in the captain's seat; BB-8 had installed himself into his compartment. I looked to the control panel to look at the co-ordinates for the Resistance's Base. My eyes squinted. The wording was different than that I'd learn from growing up on Tatooine so I couldn't understand anything on it. I had no idea of where we were – how much farther we had to go. For all I knew, we were merely in the unknown again. Waiting to find a source that could lead us to a better place.

My mouth was dry. I didn't know what to say. How could I start a conversation with him? The look Poe had given me just minutes prior had almost scared me out of doing the right thing. Which was this. Maz had been correct all along and after years and years of letting people control me, control my life – my ambitions, my goals, my aspirations – I wasn't going to let them take the freedom I'd received.

I sat in the chair opposite of Poe's – letting myself lean back. My muscles instantly relaxed, my breathing became more paced and normal. I glanced out of the corner of my eye and noticed that Poe had stiffened in his seat. His jaw had clenched; his hands gripped the controllers for the ship a tad tighter. I pretended like I didn't notice his agitation. I looked forward out into the bleak darkness of space and stared straight ahead, gathering the courage to speak up. I knew Poe wouldn't say a word. How he could fight off his temptations was beyond me. I remembered a time as a child in Tatooine where the temptation to steal a fruit off one of the market carts had overwhelmed me. I thought no one had watched but apparently someone had. The next thing I knew was I was strung to a post and whipped thirty times before being left to spend the night clinging to the post – sweat stinging the cuts on my back and the tears slipping down my cheeks. The next day, my owners had forgotten to take me off so I was a site to see in the main part of town. It was towards the evening when an older woman – a slave too – helped me off the post and took me to be cared for. The scars were now very faint on my back. They healed quickly. But the same eerie sense of being tempted by the fruit had now returned as a temptation for a man that seemed to curse me like I was the plague.

After some plain silence, I had finally gathered what seemed to be enough courage to speak.

"Have you ever loved something Poe?" The question was vague, but it was the simplest way I could start the conversation. I didn't bother to look his way, but continued to stare straight ahead.

Poe did not want to answer. That was clear as day. He pursed his lips, stole a glance my way and then looked back out into the darkness.

"Of course I have."

"What was it?"

I already knew the answer. And I didn't think he was going to say it out loud, but the words flowed across his lips and out into the air with ease. My hands clenched the handles on the seat but relaxed soon after.

"My mother."

I looked at Poe, this time not afraid. "What was she like?" I asked.

He swallowed a lump in his throat. "She was a brave woman. She was a fighter. She loved courageously and fiercely. She never gave up."

"She sounds like you," I said quietly. I watched Poe take his eyes off what he he had been staring at on the control panel and look at me. He looked wasted, tired. Like he had last night.

"What happened last night to you?" I asked. The minute the question passed my lips for him to hear he looked away. Not only that but he got up from the seat and walked out of the cockpit. I remained where I was, shocked – wondering if I had pressed too far. But Maz's words echoed in my head. I couldn't give up when we'd barely even started. I wasn't going to let Poe get away this easily. Last night he had simply slipped away and I had let him before I could even think to stop him. This time, I was prepared. I wasn't going to back down this easily.

I pushed myself out of the chair and walked out of the cockpit, following closely behind Poe. He'd gone out to the main flight deck and was going down a hallway – to his room – when I shouted out.

I had had enough.

"You're a coward Poe! And you know it! You're a coward – you're too afraid to let what happen, come. You need to let go!"

Poe froze down the hallway; his shoulders which had been sagging rose. His back straightened, stiffening as he turned menacingly my way. I took a slight step back, a hand going to my stomach.

I'd never seen a face so angry. So dark.

So dangerous.

I took a deep breath, stepping forward.

It was now or never to speak up.

To tell the truth.

"Poe you have to give in. Sometimes it isn't about what you think is best for you! Maybe you need to rely on others rather than yourself. You can't go through life alone. I learned that the hard way, when I was little." I wanted to slap him. I wanted to shake him till he finally got to his senses. But my knees were shaking; my heart was pounding a mile a minute. Tears stung my eyes; my nose sniffed. I fisted my hands, trying to stand tall as I walked towards him.

Poe remained stiff. His eyes were the only part of his body that moved as he watched me come closer. I was hesitant in my steps, reaching out; afraid he would shy away if I touched him.

The silence in the flight deck was heavy. I let my hand travel up to cup his cheek. His face was cold against the warmth of my palm. "Please, Poe." My voice was just above a whisper. I never wanted to hear myself beg. I never wanted to believe or even think that it would have to come to this.

Poe averted his eyes away and I felt a tear roll down my face. I bit my lip, and smoothed my thumb along his jaw. "Poe. Please. Just look at me."

It was no use. He pulled himself away and staggered back towards the cockpit again. I followed close behind, feeling my feet grow heavy and weary. My heart had felt as if it had sunken low into my stomach. The weight of my world was teetering. I had never wanted him to see me cry. I had never wanted anyone to see me cry since that day on the post. But now it was too late to simply stop the tears that flowed freely. Anger was building up. I felt my pulse rushing and my head reeling. Anger had been an uncommon emotion for me to feel. Since meeting Poe, I had become more acquainted with it.

I followed Poe back into the cockpit, this time not holding back.

"You thought this was going to be an easy mission. I know you did. But look how it's turned out. You never expected this – you never expected me. You expected a bloody damsel; someone who needed your rescuing – someone who wasn't built to take your anger or your hurt or your fear! But you know what?" I stepped towards him, his back still facing me. "It doesn't matter Poe. None of that matters. I see past your anger; I see past your fears; I see past that horrible and terrifying feeling of hurt. I see a man who simply wants to feel loved. I see a man who misses his mother. I see a man who knows what he wants but is too afraid to allow himself to have it." I touched his shoulder but he whipped around in a flash. I almost jumped. His eyes were dark. His brows drawn in. A snarl appeared on his lips, curling up at the ends. I drew in a sharp breath, waiting, fearing I had taken a step to far. The habitual feeling to kneel – to bow my head and accept my fate clawed inside me.

I didn't allow it.

"You know nothing," Poe hissed quietly. "You know nothing. You've lived on a desert planet for thirteen years and don't know a God damn thing about what I've been through. What I've lost – WHO I've lost. You've never been off the planet until now. You haven't witnessed war, famine and death like I have. Compared to me, you know little of this galaxy. There's nothing you can handle once you stepped off that planet and it's been up to me to make sure you get back safely. I follow the rules. I will not break them." He jabbed a finger into my chest, his breathing heavy. I could barely make out the fear in his eyes – the fear that he had hurt me in some way. There was no point in him fighting himself anymore He was losing a battle he simply could not win. It was a battle I so badly wanted him to overcome. To see and feel.

I grabbed his face again; so fast that we both didn't have the time to stop ourselves or each other. And it all happened quickly. Like a bolt or flash of lightening during a storm. All I knew was that my lips were pressing roughly to his; molding and touching and feeling. I squeezed my eyes shut; I let the last few tears leak out and slide down my face, touching his lips and mine. My hands gently ran through the mess of curls in his hair; the soft ringlets and tangles soft against my fingers. My palms rubbed against the stubble on his face. My mouth opened just barely, feeling his open as well and press more fiercely to mine. But all too soon it was over. All too soon he was waking up – pushing me away, turning his back. I found myself stumbling around in the cockpit, trying to grab something to hold on to as I managed to catch my breath.

I fell to the floor crying out. My head hung, hair falling in front of my face as the waking feeling of defeat began to ebb into my bones. It vibrated and wrapped itself around me. Like a snake going in for the kill.

My lip quivered as I stood from the cold floor. I brushed the light amount of dust and dirt from my dress, fighting the urge to say something I would later regret. Turning away from him as well, I finally let the feeling of overwhelming sadness wash over me. The immense feeling of pity, heartache – for a man who feared. I didn't feel sorry for myself. My shoulders began to rack as sobs escaped my mouth and my face became wet with tears. I reached out, grabbing on to a pole in the room and hugged it tight – like my weak nine year old body had hugged a post. I felt nine again. I felt like a girl. I felt alone. There was nothing else to say; there was nothing else I could do.

I had tried my very best, but failed.

Not looking back at Poe, I slipped out of the cockpit and onto the main deck. I went towards the right – down the hallway that led to my room. If anything, I could fall asleep and wake up when we arrived at Base. The rest of this trip would be spent alone. In solitude. There was no point in showing myself to him again when we were like fire and gasoline. We only made our situation worse. We made each other worse.

We were complete opposites and I had believed we could make it work. I believed that we could make us work.

I went into the room, closing the door behind me as I crawled into the small bed. The room was cold. I pulled the thin covers up – smooth against my skin. I rid the dress from my body, feeling dirty with it on. My back was pressed to the small, thin mattress and I glanced up at the pale ceiling that blurred as my tears raced down my cheeks and the quiet sniffles and whimpers continued to rack and heave my body. I reached down to my waist and barely felt one of the many small faded scars that had whipped my back and wrapped around my frail body years ago. I shivered as my fingers traced it and closed my eyes. I would find comfort in them. In their strength I knew I would somehow make it through the rest of this trip. I was headed to a better place. No pain or fear or hurt would greet me there.

The moment I had met Poe Dameron, I knew there was something special about him.

What I hadn't realized when I pulled him down that alley on Tatooine was the burden he carried was far worse than my thirteen years of slavery. It hurt more than the licking of whips and the sleepless nights.

Poe was a slave to himself. He wasn't free.

I was afraid he knew that all too well himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAHHHH so much tension!!!!!:3
> 
> It's been crazy these last couple of weeks but I am so happy to have finally gotten this up! Thank you all for being so patient with me. I appreciate it so very much.
> 
> Please remember to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW, AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS!:) I would love to know what you all think and think what will happen next:)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite the intense tension and fighting. We're only getting started with the second half of this book:3
> 
> All the love and happy reading! xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	14. Poe

.: POE :.

 

The cockpit was deathly quiet after the loud slamming of Maia's bunk room door shut. It felt like the whole ship had shaken from its reverberation. I had flinched slightly at the sound but not even my own breathing could be apprehended in the moments after. I had heard Maia stumble out of the room earlier after our fight. Her muffled sobs had sent me grasping out to hold on to the chair in front of me as my back faced her. My muscles tensed. All movement within me ceased. BB-8 hadn't peeped or even purred a sound from his compartment and I feared what would ensue if I showed even a hint of my face.

What would be there to greet me on the other side?

I was angry with her. Her wisdom, her integrity, her words that spoke more truth than I could admit to had thrown me over the edge. I clenched the back of the chair, my knuckles turning white. My jaw tightened and a feeling of guilt began to form and grow in my stomach. I wanted to push it aside; I wanted to disown it. But it somehow clawed itself through me, making its presence known more than the anger that had fought to stay alive.

The words that had been spewed were ones that had been stirring and stewing within me for a while. Looking at it now, I realized just how cruel I had been to Maia the minute we had met. And all along she had simply wanted to help me. She had known me – understood me – the minute I woke up from a dazed state and bar fight. She'd seen me inside the bar before I was even kicked out; she'd carried me out of the main street into a darkened alley and the first thing she did was bandage and stitch me up while I tried to prevent her from doing so. What had started out as small banter and bickering had soon snowballed into a fight and battle that seemed inevitable from the beginning. But it wasn't just that; the bickering had transformed into confrontation. It had turned into a conflict which developed into a dispute of right and wrong; truth and lies. Each time she opened her mouth and had accosted me I felt the urge to drop her off at the nearest First Order Base or a junkyard planet. Part of me regretted even volunteering for the damn mission altogether. Simon had sent me on my death trip for all I knew. By now everyone at the Resistance Base was probably wondering where I was. Why I was taking so long. "Poe Dameron can't fail" – they would've been whispering that to each other. Maybe now it was different. Maybe now it was "Is he even coming back? Is he even alive? Poe Dameron – the Resistance's best pilot dies in a rescue mission that wasn't even important in the first place."

Stupid. I was stupid and I should have kept my foot down. I should have swallowed my pride and let some other unknown pilot make his way to Tatooine and pick up a girl and fall for her instead. Or not even fall for her altogether. The damn pilot would probably have had the tenacity and perseverance to withstand the temptation. He would have been braver. He would have been able to defeat what I'd been battling all along.

This was supposed to have been a simple mission.

Instead it had turned into the most dangerous one of all.

It was then that I thought of Simon again. Thirteen years. He hadn't seen his daughter in thirteen years and for all I knew, Maia had no memories or recollections of her father or her family. She'd never mentioned anything to me since we'd met. I didn't know he story. All I knew was she'd been missing and presumed dead. I didn't know her day to day life or what was normal for her. I didn't know he problems or her fears or her thoughts. I only knew what I had memorized from that small file General Organa and Simon had handed over to me before I left Base.

For all I really knew, Maia was still a mystery.

I fumbled with my jacket pocket and tore the small crumpled photo of eight year old Maia out. The photo was blurred but it was the same face. The same youthful glow – with just a tad bit more baby fat and a childish grin. The same brown eyes that smiled despite the years of loneliness that had occupied her days and months and weeks and years. It was the same nose, rosy cheeks and dimples. The same girl . . . but now a woman.

She was wiser, smarter, mature, beautiful and true.

But I could tell in the picture that she remained the same in courage and kindness. Virtue and patience.

Hopeful.

Maia had waited thirteen years without knowing anything about who she was, or what would happen, and yet she never once had given up any hope.

I walked out of the cockpit, casting my leather jacket and the photo aside. The tapping of my boots on the metal flooring matched the thrumming of my heart. Instead of heading towards the bunk of my room, I found myself stalking towards Maia's. The door loomed at the end of the hallway, still shut. My hands fisted and became sweaty. I tried to control my breathing, but couldn't. Adrenaline rushed through my veins. My nerves were a mess. Whatever had taken me over had no intentions of stopping. And for all I knew, I didn't want it to cease.

As I neared the door a sense of fear enveloped my thoughts. My hand was clasped to the cold handle. My breathing shortened and I pressed my ear to the door, trying to hear any noises on the other side. No sound was uttered and BB-8 hadn't bothered to follow me down the hallway. I stole a quick glance one more time. Nothing was following.

Something had overcome me, because before I could stop myself I was pushing the door open with the littlest effort and sliding into darkness. The room was dark; I could barely make out the figure of Maia lying peacefully in her bed. I shifted in front of the door, the handle clicking in place making the softest sound. Maia must have noticed. She rolled over gently, waking herself and sat up in the bed, pulling the sheets tight to her chest.

A lump formed in my throat as I found the small discarded pile of her dress and stockings lying on the ground at the foot of her bed.

A sudden urge; a sudden longing. I couldn't hold back.

"Poe?" Maia sounded groggy – her accent thicker than it normally was from sleep. She reached a hand up to brush hair out of her face as I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it next to her dress. She watched my movements intently before asking, "What are you doing?"

I removed my boots, and then fumbled with the belt on my pants. Maia's breath hitched in her throat as she suddenly dropped the sheet covering her bare chest.

"Poe . . ." This time her voice was more awake. My name sounded certain on her lips – serious and definite. I know she wanted to say more but I was quick to stop her before she could crawl out of the bed and say something else. She bit her bottom lip, waiting for me. The sheets were rumpled and thin. Though it was dark, I could almost see through them to notice the curves of her body; her milky white porcelain skin, the small and soft jagged scars that seemed to wrap around her waist and back. The question of where those had come from crossed my mind but I distracted myself with my own voice and the desire it possessed for her.

"No, don't move." My voice croaked and I stalked closer to the bed. I hesitated slightly as Maia looked up at me curiously. Her eyes looked like black orbs as I climbed onto the bed, crawling towards her. She moved slightly, giving me more room. It was the first time I was fully taking her into my sight like this. And she was beautiful. I reached a hand, cupping her cheek. She shuddered softly but didn't pull away. A smile coaxed itself across my lips as my thumb brushed over her own.

"Let me see you," I whispered, my lips went to brushing her shoulder. Maia shivered under my touch. I slid an arm around her waist pulling her close and pressed her bare chest to mine, touching the scars on her back. She shivered again, holding to me tighter like I was her only lifeline. I held her, feeling myself not wanting to let go either. Protective. Preventive. If anything were to come near her or us, I wouldn't let it. The promise was formed. I wouldn't break it.

"You're beautiful," I sighed, pressing my lips to her neck. I laid her down gently to the mattress, letting the sheets fall off us. Maia's hands reached up, cupping my face and smoothing her thumb over my lips, my skin. Her chest rose and fell; her eyes stared into mine with an intensity I'd never seen. She didn't need to say anything to let me know what it was that she wanted. Looking straight back at her, I realized I'd made the right decision – the right choice.

I closed my eyes as I pressed my lips to hers, falling more into her with each second. With sighs, kisses, soft touches, breaths and glances I felt myself being consumed.

"Oh Maia," I whispered. It was her. Always.

I didn't ever want to let go of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GGGAHHHHHHH.
> 
> OMG.
> 
> LIKE WTF DID I REALLY JUST WRITE THAT!? :3
> 
> I know it was a short chapter but do not worry. More will be coming soon, I promise!:)
> 
> Poe and Maia - We need a ship name for them:3 hehe. BTW THAT GIFFFFFF :3 <3
> 
> VOTE. COMMENT. FOLLOW. ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS.
> 
> I hope you all liked the chapter!
> 
> All the love, xoxo.
> 
> Holly:)


	15. Maia

.: MAIA :.

 

Everything had happened so suddenly. So quick. So fast.

But who was I, to stop such wanted acts? Nothing inside me held back, nothing was in fear.

We lay in the bed together; curled up, close. Poe's chest rose and fell with each soft breath. My eyes wandered over every square inch of him – studying. The soft scars from battles fought, the swollen knuckles that were used in infamous bar fights. His wound in his abdomen had healed impressively, leaving a jagged but fainted white scar. I touched it gently, feeling Poe restless in the bed, turn in closer to me. He reached out, grabbing my hand and placing it directly on his chest as I glanced up at him. His eyes were tired and a lazy smile produced itself on his lips. Leaning forward, he was gentle in pressing his lips to mine before pulling away just slightly so he could look me over again. I lay my head on his outstretched arm, drawing invisible patterns on his chest as he hummed softly.

"Did you ever know a woman on Tatooine?" Poe asked breaking the silence. I couldn't help but goofily smile, pressing a kiss on his shoulder and moving my lips towards his neck as I answered. I heard him take an intake of breath.

"I knew a lot of women."

"I mean – did you ever know a woman who-" He let himself trail off and I looked up at him quizzically.

"Who what?" I pressed.

Poe shrugged his shoulders. "Just someone I met while I was searching for you. She was different."

"Different how so?"

"Maz knew her."

"Did she?" I was surprised by this new fact.

Poe nodded. "She's the one who told Maz who went on to alert the Resistance about you."

I stared at him, waiting for more but nothing came. "How was she different, Poe?"

"She told me something. Something that haunted me for quite a while." He sat up a little and I joined him. "She told me about you. She said I was lonely – knew it. But she also told me that when I'd find you many things would happen."

"Like what things?" Poe had looked down and I wondered if what he'd been told was a bad fortune. It wasn't until he raised his head did I see the small grin protruding on his features. His hand was holding mine delicately – like I was precious and fragile if dropped.

"She told me what you've been trying to tell me all along."

This time it was me who wouldn't control my lips turning up. I felt a heat rise to my cheeks as I ducked my head and played with a small loose string in the sheets. Poe took the hand, causing me to look at him. "I didn't listen to her, Maia because I didn't want to believe it. I'm the kind of man who has to see to believe. To feel, really. And what I thought was a lousy fortune telling was in fact the truest piece of advice I could ever get. I'm a scoundrel for not believing it at first. I'm surprised you've dealt with my sorry ass for this long."

"It's actually not much of a sorry ass." I glanced towards the end of the bed, nodding my head and earning a laugh from Poe as he covered himself with the sheet before he curled in close to me.

"You're a little minx aren't ya?" He whispered seductively. His breath hitting my neck, caused a slight stir and soon enough his lips were pressing down, sucking, kissing. I closed my eyes, giving in to him as soon enough I was overtaken.

After another high and much needed sleep, I woke to what I thought was a ringing coming from the cockpit on the freighter. I fidgeted in the bed, shifting in Poe's arms and careful not to wake him. Out of all of us, it was him who needed the most rest. My eyes were caked with sleep and fluttered open and shut. The room was still dark, but not as cold. BB-8 was nowhere to be seen. Other than the soft snores of Poe, the ship was silent. I snuggled in closer to Poe, yawning. My forehead rested against his chest, my eyes forced themselves shut again. I was beginning to fall back into a deep slumber until I heard it again. The ringing.

I moved, trying to get up this time. I couldn't recall the dream I was having, but I knew for sure that the ringing had woken me and wasn't coming from my thoughts or imagination. It had pulled me straight out of Poe's arms. So much that even Poe woke, groaning as he tried to dig his head back into a pillow and drag me down with him.

"Come back to bed," he sighed. His eyes were half open and half closed. Encircling his arms around me, I felt constricted but relaxed soon after his breathing steadied and he closed his eyes again. The ringing continued though. Not giving up. Now I was beginning to worry.

"Don't worry about it." Poe sounded more awake this time. He kissed my collarbone, sucking lightly.

"But what if it's important?"

"It doesn't matter. I can always contact them later."

"Are you sure?" I gave him a questioning look.

Poe didn't answer. His smile was soft. He leaned down to press his lips to mine again as I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist to bring him in closer. A sigh escaped my lips just as we were about to continue when once again, the quiet ringing blared from outside of the bunk room. Poe's face buried deep into the crook of my neck as I gently played with the tiny curls at the back base of his head.

"What is it?" I whispered lightly. Poe let out a disgruntled groan trying to ignore it and continue, but I pushed him slightly away, gathering some sheets and wrapping myself up in them to keep warm. "Go answer it. It could be from the Resistance . . . are we close?"

Poe rolled over in the bed, his bare chest heaving up and down – sweat still sheened across his forehead. "I dunno. I'm not sure." He sat up, rubbing his face with his hands, breathing deeply. As his hands dropped, I let mine catch his. The instant they met he averted his gaze to me, smiling once more from the disrupted moment we had had moments prior. I let my hands caress over his; glancing over the tiny scars and calluses. He watched me silently in admiration. "I don't want to leave you."

"It's just five minutes," I replied not bothering to look back up. I knew he was still staring and I fought the blush that threatened my pale cheeks. Poe pulled his hands out from mine, taking a finger under my chin to raise my face up to meet his. His brown eyes met mine in a solid lock. His face which was severely tired showed warmth – something that had been awfully rare for him to show. The hand traveled, brushing alongside my jaw, my cheeks, my lips, and my nose, tracing in invisible lines. I didn't have to say anything more. He gently leaned forward, pressing his forehead to mine and touched my lips with his. Then forcing himself out of the bed, he reached for his clothes which lay on the cold ground.

"Five minutes, you said?" Poe quipped. A light chuckle spewed past his lips and I fell back with the sheets into the bed curling up. I bit my lip, watching him dress, knowing he was being a complete tease at the moment. For once, I didn't mind.

"That is if you hurry up," I mumbled. "A slow poke like you might have to leg it." Poe shot me a joking glare and I giggled, pulling the sheets up further.

Poe, buckling his pants stalked over to the bed, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I'll be right back . . . I promise."

He disappeared and I sat lying blissfully in the bed. The smile on my face was plastered and for all I knew, couldn't be removed. The side of the bed Poe had just been on was still warm and I laid my palm facedown feeling the heat spread throughout me.

I couldn't hear anything from outside the room and I wondered why. I had been able to hear the ringing. Why wasn't I able to hear Poe? I waited for Poe, lying in the bed. He'd return eventually, he promised. But as the minutes ticked by and I couldn't hear the faint sound of his feet padding on the metal flooring or the light humming of his presence that was vague but all the same vivid, I knew something was wrong. Or maybe my presumptions were too worrisome. Either way, I yearned to know that everything was okay. Maybe we were nearing the Ileenium system and Poe had to prepare the freighter for landing? I gathered my clothes which lay in lumps on the floor and put them on. Glancing in the mirror, I made sure I looked somewhat presentable and then poked my head out into the hallway to see if anyone was in sight.

Nothing.

I stepped out of the room, letting the door shut behind me. My feet sounded light on the floor. I tiptoed, passing by the flight deck and noticed BB-8 traveling back into the cockpit. I followed quickly behind him, reaching the small hallway that led down to the room when I heard Poe's voice say something. I strained my ears to listen more, but caught nothing.

My hands touched the cool metal wall as I slowly slid down the hallway to the cockpit. By now, Poe's voice was coming in hushed tones. Hisses. A flutter erupted in my chest. I briefly pictured us back in bed. I wanted to be back in bed.

"I can't let her know," Poe suddenly said loud enough for me to hear and process. I froze in place, growing rigid. I felt my eyes dilate and widen. I wanted to step closer to hear more but worried I'd get caught.

I wasn't supposed to be hearing this.

"What am I supposed to do?" Poe replied to whoever was speaking with him. "I had strict orders from Simon not to say a word."

Simon? Who was Simon?

Whoever Poe was talking to didn't stay on the other end for long. Before I knew it, I heard Poe hang-up. I could hear him walking around the cockpit – organizing his thoughts. A part of me was tempted to round the corner and ask him what was wrong, but that would only give away the fact that I had snooped and listened to his private conversation. Whatever it was, if Poe found out I was listening, most likely fighting would ensue. And that was the last thing I wanted despite being confrontational with him until mere hours ago.

I backed away, out of the hallway into the flight deck. BB-8 luckily hadn't spotted me either. I was quick, light on my feet, as I raced down the hallway back to my room. Shutting the door behind me, I undressed and hopped back into the bed, under the duvet and sheets. I could hear Poe returning, his feet loud on the floor. The door to the room opened slowly and I turned lazily over in the bed, acting as if I'd been there the entire time. A smile spread across my face as I raised a hand out for him to take and join me.

"Well, you were faster than I thought you'd be," I joked flirtatiously. "Come back to bed now, hmm?" The words were out of my mouth far too late as the look on Poe's face registered with me. Gone was the smile. Gone was the genuine interest in stripping down and joining me back in a small canopy of sheets and blankets and intimate moments.

Something was wrong.

Terribly wrong.

"Poe?" I sat up, covering my chest with the duvet. "Poe, what's wrong?"

Poe looked defeated. For once the bags under his eyes were more prominent. His face was far paler than his normal caramel colored skin. His shoulders slumped, his posture sagged. Lifting his head seemed to be a feat of strength as he didn't move one inch to the bed. It was when he opened his mouth to speak that I knew he was going to tell me who had been on the other end of that call. It was in his eyes. He was tired of holding it all back.

"Maia." He'd only used my name a few times. Walking to the bed he dropped to his knees and reached out to take my hand. Desperate. I grasped a hold of it, reassuring him. I wanted him to know I was here. I wasn't going to leave.

"What is it? Poe, tell me. What is it?" My hands covered his. I dropped them to cup his face, smoothing out the creases in his face and erase the melancholy that plagued him.

"Maia." He sighed deeply, looking down. It was now or never.

"Maia, I need to tell you something."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn.
> 
> Uh oh. What's gonna happen next!?:3
> 
> VOTE. COMMENT. FOLLOW. ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS. I'd love to see what you all think is going to happen! Who knows!? Maybe you'll be right;)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next week is going to be busy for me, so I may not update. I'll let you know soon if I'll be able to.
> 
> All the love, xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	16. Poe

.: POE :. 

I really didn't want to leave her.

She provided warmth. Kinship. A familiar sense and comfort that seemed unviable until now.

But that damn ringing kept going on and on and on. It wouldn't stop. And Maia being the one she is pushed me out of the bed, and had me answer the damn call.

Of all calls, I wish she hadn't heard the ringing for this one.

The minute I picked up the speaker in the cockpit and pressed it into my ear, I expected the voice on the other end to be Simon. Or even General Organa. I tried to make myself sound more awake. More alert. BB-8 had smuggled his way out of his compartment, sitting at my feet. His head rose, gazing up at me as I gave him a curt nod, letting him know everything was going to be alright – no matter what.

"This is Commander Poe Dameron." I hadn't said those words in a while and they suddenly felt foreign. Licking my lips, I waited for the voice on the other side to speak. BB-8 nudged my leg, I shooed him slightly, pressing the speaker in farther.

"Hello? Is anyone there? This is Commander Poe Dameron. I received a call a few moments ago and I'm returning to see if everything is alright."

"Poe?"

The General. I froze in place, suddenly silenced. Every muscle, fiber and bone in my body was stiff. My eyes widened; I dropped my hand that was holding the speaker inside my ear to the side. General Organa continued calling out my name. It was when she was about to hang-up that I finally revived and gained the strength to speak back.

"Yes. General. I'm here." I took a deep breath. After weeks of not hearing anything from the Resistance on my journey, it sure was nice to hear the General's voice.

It meant I was almost there. I was almost home.

"Poe." The General sounded stoic. "We've received word you're almost returned . . . With Maia, I presume?"

"Y-yes!" I stuttered the words out, a smile placing itself on my lips as the image of Maia came into my thoughts. My fingers fluttered on the small dashboard of the cockpit, looming over and making sure everything was in check. I checked our co-ordinates. The General was right. We were very close. "I've just checked our co-ordinates now! We will be returning very shortly!"

"Is she alright?" The General asked. "Are you alright?"

"I couldn't be better, General." I continued to smile. "And Maia is perfectly safe. She's resting now. It's been a long journey, but we're all fine. We're all well."

I could sense something from the other end of the call. Something that hungover like an invisible veil – a bad omen. An unforgiving and terrifying truth. A part of me refused to sense it, and maybe that's why I continued to smile until the General spoke. I waited patiently; knowing whatever she was going to say would make the next moment defining. The General took a breath as I held mine in.

"Poe," The General's voice sounded broken. "Poe, Simon is dead."

There was another long silence, and for a moment I thought I had been dreaming and had finally woken from a long spell of nightmares and dark and gruesome imaginations. My head rattled, and hurt and spun. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath; inhaling and exhaling.

"W-what?" I didn't think that what she said was right. I pressed the speaker further in. A light hum gently penetrated my ear. Everything sounded fuzzy. "What do you mean?"

"Simon is dead, Poe." The General's words didn't fully register despite hearing them loud and clear this time. "He passed away last night."

I fell into the chair behind me, suddenly losing the mobility to walk and the strength to stand. The words repeated themselves again and again in my head. Simon is dead. Simon is dead. Simon . . . is Dead.

"But – how?" My brows furrowed, my lips frowned. "How is that possible? What went wrong? What was wrong with him?"

I heard the General sigh. She was silent for a moment, and I could picture her sitting in the large meeting room, C-3PO by her side or nearby. I could see her features, frowning, but showing little emotion because she wanted to remain strong for everyone mourning around her. Without Simon, it was only her. With Simon gone, we were down one extra and the plan to take the First Order over became a step higher and trickier. The Republic still was on no aide to us. We were on our own.

My head fell back in the chair and I stared up at the blank ceiling. Suddenly all those worries that had somehow disappeared and been erased had come back, rose again and planted themselves into the very essence of my being. Like maggots. They picked and prodded. They ate me up. They ate up the happiness that had felt so wonderful and nice and warm. Now, they replaced it with cold, hard, rough mourning. And worry. Worry about what to do. What to say.

"He was sick. He'd been sick for some time." The General finally spoke up. "He wanted to rescue Maia earlier on his own when we first heard word about her but I insisted he stayed and we recruit someone else . . ." BB-8 must have noticed something was wrong. He rolled over to the right side of my chair, purring quietly as he gazed up at me. "There was little we could have done," The General continued. "It was incurable and the time he had left was very little. That's why he wanted Maia back. He wanted to have the opportunity to say goodbye."

"Maia doesn't know," I told her forcefully. Suddenly.

"What do you mean Maia doesn't know?"

"She doesn't know about Simon. She doesn't know about his plan. I told her the Resistance needed her help. Before I left, Simon gave me strict orders to not reveal anything to Maia about him, this plan or the reasoning behind it." My head spun; pounding and hurting. I wanted to stop it all.

"Poe," the General sighed, "you need to tell her."

"I can't tell her," I hissed. BB-8 spun, bleeping out a few words but I ignored him. "What am I supposed to do? I had strict orders from Simon not to say a word!"

"It's your call, Poe." The General wasn't one to say that. Ever. "Remember, I wasn't the one who gave you the orders for this mission. It was Simon. And if he told you to not say anything, then you follow through. But do realize the right thing about this. There is a daughter who doesn't know she has a father who's died. There's a young woman whose whole life has been one big question. Maybe Simon was trying to protect Maia and give her the best interest, but now that he's gone, maybe it's time we looked at this from a perspective that isn't his and do what feels right. Tell the truth. Tell her. She deserves to know."

"How can I?" My voice rasped. "I don't know how. I don't know what to say."

The General was quick to respond. And what I had hoped would be advice was instead a lingering thought. Lasting even long after she hung up.

"You'll know, Poe. I know you. You're a good man. You'll think of something."

The journey to Maia's room seemed longer than all the other times I walked there. After the talk with the General, I paced the whole of the cockpit, thinking and fighting with myself about what to do. For all I knew, the five minutes which had passed between Maia and I had been turned into something longer and I didn't want her waiting much longer. So I urged myself to leave the cockpit and BB-8 and go to her. I was terrified, trying to imagine how the next minutes would go down and upon reaching the door, I didn't even know if I had the strength to open the damn thing. But sure enough, I did and when I entered through the doorway and saw a peaceful looking figure roll over in the bed and greet me with her angelic smile and voice, I knew I couldn't hide anything any longer. I couldn't lie. I couldn't fib. My whole body ached and throbbed as I dropped on my knees to the floor, taking Maia's hands into mine, holding them like they were my only lifeline. She looked worried. Her face had scrunched up, worry lines creased across her forehead; her lips pursed and puckered and her pale cheeks had hallowed. Her hands cupped my face, trying to read inside my mind and help me. But not even her soft hands or her calming features could heal the fractured and irrevocably sorrowful pain I felt.

"Are you okay?" She asked gently.

"I – I'm okay. Don't worry." The lie was so easy to tell, but something told me that she knew the words were false. She didn't press though. And instead waited for me to speak again.

"I need to tell you something."

"Alright then," Maia sat up straighter, the sheet covering her. "Tell me."

My mouth was dry. My eyes drooped. I was tired and weak. My breaths were shallow. Everything within me wanted to stop and beat no more. I felt defeated.

"Poe?" Maia put her hands into mine. "Poe you have to say something."

"The Resistance doesn't really need you." The words were out before I could take them back and I averted my gaze from hers, looking down. I didn't want to see what she looked like now. I had no desire to see the hurt that washed over her face and echoed and ebbed and begged why I would lie to her. I just continued. "There was another reason."

Maia was silent for a moment. I tried to fight the temptation to not look her way, but lost. I looked up, still holding – squeezing – her hands in mine. Her face was unreadable, honing no emotion whatsoever. I guessed now was any time to ask.

"Maia, do you remember your family?"

Her grip on my hands loosened but she didn't let go. Biting her lip, I could see her thinking, trying to remember if she could reveal any memories or recollections. I watched her with intensity, hoping she'd be able to bring something up, even if she wasn't sure what it was.

"I – I don't – I don't really know actually." Her voice was quiet, raspier. "I just remember vaguely; something happened." She closed her eyes tight, her brows drawing in and she pressed and racked her brain. "I can't recall anything – just that suddenly I was leaving; going away. And then I was on Tatooine – and my owners were taking me to their home . . ." She faltered and her eyes fluttered. "But – but I do – I think there was someone. A man . . . It was before I left with whoever was with me. He was a kind man . . .Very thoughtful and wise."

At the possible mentioning of Simon I nodded my head vigorously, telling her to continue. "Keep going, Maia." I pressed my lips to her hands in a soft kiss; heart pounding inside my chest. "Tell me more."

"He was trying not to cry," Maia said. "He was telling me he was going to come back." Her eyes squeezed shut. "I just don't – I thought it was a dream. It's something I've dreamed frequently about and until now-" Her eyes shot open – brown and glassy and looking straight at me. Her skin turned paler. "Poe," she hesitated, voice shaking, "my father."

I nodded my head at her, not holding back. "Yes. He's your father. The man in your dream." I crouched closer to her. "Maia, he sent me to come get you. When Maz alerted the Resistance, saying you were out there – that you were still alive – your father rallied all pilots and commanders and ordered a rescue mission." I tried to smile to the best of my ability, but her face remained stoic, phlegmatic. "Maia – your father; his name is Simon. He's the Colonel for the Resistance and-" I cut myself off realizing that all I'd been saying was untrue.

There was no reason, no need to speak of her father when she wasn't going to see him.

"You need to know something about your father," I finally said, breaking the brief silence that had followed. "It was the reason why I took that call."

Maia didn't speak. She didn't utter a word. Her lips were sealed shut. Unmovable.

"He passed away." The words were hard to say – hard to hear. "Last night . . . I had no clue until that call." I shook my head violently. "Before I left, I had no idea he was sick and had been for a while. But I did talk with him and he told me that no matter what – if I saved you or rescued you – I wouldn't tell you anything. I wouldn't say why I had come for you. Maybe he knew then what was going to happen and by the time we returned to Base he'd be gone – I don't know, Maia." I choked on my words, feeling tears sting my eyes but I pushed them away. "All I know though, was that he loved you." I looked at her. "He loved you so much – so much that he didn't want you to feel the pain he had felt for thirteen years without you or any kind of pain that would hurt you in any way. He wanted you to be happy. He wanted you to start again . . . He wanted you to have a real life with nothing holding you back." I finished finally, knowing I'd said all I could. It had been hard looking at her the entire time I'd spoken so I had turned away, briefly staring at the bed we'd both occupied just minutes ago in contentment and joy.

A lot had changed in just a short amount of time.

When I finally returned my gaze to Maia, I couldn't think of anything more than to kiss her. Hold her. Feel her. I rose from my kneeling position on the floor, dropping her hands into her lap. I leaned forward, cupping her cheeks in my hands, ready to return to what we had started, but instead of being greeted with her lips, her hands in my hair and her breath on my neck, I was being pushed away.

"Maia, I'm sorr-"

"How could you?" She hissed. She didn't move a single muscle. Her jaw remained clenched, her hands fisted full of sheets. My face fell, realizing that what I'd said couldn't be avoided. Knowing Maia, she wouldn't ignore it, wouldn't forget. The past thirteen years of her life as a slave finally had reasoning. No family? The question to that was finally answered. I took another step back as Maia looked away from me, contemplating on what to say.

I reached a hand out tentatively, hoping she wouldn't react in anger.

My hope was killed.

"Don't touch me!"

"Maia?"

"You mean to say that this whole trip – my whole existence, life of slavery and thirteen years spent on a desert planet – has been because a man didn't have the guts or strength or willpower to go save his only daughter!?"

"No! It's not that at al-"

"Don't speak!" Maia snapped. "For all I know, you could still be lying and that call could have been anything else!" I watched her muscles tense up. "God! I had every right to know the truth Poe!" She looked at me, eyes welling up. "You should have told me right from the start because if that man had let me live the way I did for thirteen years he has no right, no goddamn right to govern me or my life! The only person who has the bloody right is me!" Tears fell down her cheeks as she shook her head. "I – I need to be alone." She lifted a hand to shoo me away. "Please . . . I just – I need time. Time to think."

"Maia, I-"

"Poe, please don't." She shook her head again, sniffling. When she looked at me, a pained smile placed itself on her lips. "I'm not mad at you – truly. You did what you were supposed to do. You followed through. You were a true pilot, and my fath- the Colonel should be proud of your job . . . but for right now. For right now, I need my privacy. Please."

I nodded my head, understanding. "Yes. I completely understand. I'll jus- I'll go to – I'll be in the cockpit." I turned to leave but stopped, only to hear her sobbing quietly. I looked out of the corner of my eye, seeing how she'd placed her head in her hands. Her shoulders and body racked and my heart felt an immense amount of pain reap and burn and ache for her. I wanted to go over to her. I wanted to take her up into my arms and hold her until all the pain had been soaked up from her and been replaced with light and happiness and freedom.

But I didn't go over. I didn't kiss her like I wanted to. I went to the door. I opened it and I walked out. I pushed away the fear, the pain. Any feeling whatsoever.

Because that's what I was supposed to do.

I was a pilot. And I always obeyed my orders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Much. Drama. 
> 
> But then again, it's a story. So what is a story without drama, right?:P 
> 
> So who was expecting that plot twist with Simon!?:3 Let me know with a comment below!
> 
> VOTE. COMMENT. FOLLOW. ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS. I really do love seeing all you comment on this story. It really encourages me to keep writing and updating quickly for you all. So if you think about it - it's a win-win situation:) ehehe
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter even with the angst:3 Do you still think Maia and Poe can be together? Remember to comment!!! 
> 
> All the love, xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	17. Maia

.: MAIA :. 

 

The ceiling was blank. Dull. After staring at it for a while it grew fuzzy. My eyes had cleared – dried after the tears had spilt and leaked out. I had stopped crying previously and thought that I was all cried out, but in a matter of minutes thoughts swirled inside my head and the instant pressure and stinging in my eyes rose and then ruptured. Salty tears slid down my cheeks, slipping through my lips onto my tongue. Eventually, numbness overtook my whole body and I lay limp on the flimsy mattress, gazing up at the ceiling and I hadn't moved a muscle since.

Poe had left and hadn't come back. After some time I had expected him to return; to check in. But he hadn't. I thought I would have been upset, but in all honesty I wasn't. The solitude of my mourning and grief was better than a physical companion. It was as if I was once again on Tatooine – lying on my mat, staring up at the starry sky. A little girl again, I pictured my dreams; my hopes back then. I imagined the wishes that I had – the fantasies that my eight year old mind had obsessed over and desired to come true. Family. Love. Freedom.

All of those had come.

But with a price.

My hands traveled down my body, touching the scars that wrapped around my back and waist. I shuddered under the touch and what I'd hoped would provide and give comfort only left me more empty and vacant.

I noticed that the door had been pushed open. It creaked, slightly ajar and pulled me from the waves of depression and melancholy. My head turned, expecting Poe's return. Instead I found the familiar white and orange ball that purred vibrantly and rolled over to the edge of the bed, head perking up and staring at me with its glassy black orb. A friendly aura radiated from the droid and I smiled weakly before reaching out a hand to run down his side.

"Hello, friend," I whispered weakly.

BB-8 bleeped gently. I forced myself to swallow and hide the crack in my voice that threatened to push out.

"You've been more than helpful. Poe should be proud to have a companion like you by his sid-"

"We're landing," Poe interrupted quietly, not bothering to look my way as I covered myself again with the sheet. I hadn't heard him come into the room. He must have followed BB-8 here. I hadn't seen his stocky figure appear in the doorway. I instantly curled up in the bed, shaken from the surprise. Poe must have noticed. Worry lines creased his forehead but he ignored the temptation to ask anything and instead spoke. "You may want to get dressed."

"Ye-yes." I struggled to get out of the bed, but eventually straightened up, dropping the sheet and blankets to the ground. BB-8 had rolled to the entrance to the room, greeting Poe before disappearing down the hallway. I watched Poe intently as he stayed frozen at the door. His arm rested against the frame, his eyes cast downward at the floor. I knew he wanted to say something, but he didn't have it in him to speak up. Whatever it was had been plaguing him for a while. He looked tired and worn.

"You can tell me later if you'd like," I whispered. His head shot up, staring right at me as I nodded my head, grabbed the dress from the floor and snuggled into it. "We'll have time."

Poe gave a curt nod in response before tapping the doorframe. His lips moved but nothing coherent seemed to come out of them.

Finally, "Meet me in the cockpit when you're ready, okay?"

"Alright."

Poe disappeared, leaving me to get ready. Grabbing the rest of my medical supply pack and other items, I raced down the hallway and through the flight deck, meeting Poe in the cockpit. The room felt suddenly smaller than the last time I was in it as I took my place in the passenger's chair and BB-8 returned to his small compartment. We still were out in the outer rims of the galaxy and I watched Poe out of the corner of my eye as he entered in a couple things and pressed a few buttons, preparing the ship to enter the atmosphere of the planet. My heart pounded vigorously in my chest as the thought of being greeted by dozens upon dozens of people ingrained itself in my head. I clutched the handles of the chair as Poe pulled a lever propelling us forward at such speed I lost my breath for a second. But in the blink of an eye we were suddenly thrust upon grey and messy clouds. Rain splattered the windshield of the freighter. I looked out; trying to catch a glimpse of what was below.

Green. Just like the planet Maz's castle was on. My eyes widened, my head reeled. Unlike Maz's castle, rolling hills and a vastly long stretch of a loading and take-off dock greeted us. Figures moving furiously around on the ground seemed to take notice of our ship. I peered, stretching my body to look closer as we neared the ground. Poe bit his lip in anticipation, pulling hard on another lever as he attempted a slightly bumpy but mostly smooth landing. The instant we touched the ground, a look of relief and utter happiness erupted on his face. He turned to look at me, his brown eyes glowing and gleaming with delight. BB-8 jumped in his compartment, bleeping and calling out.

Poe parked the freighter on the outskirts of the loading dock. Making sure all the brakes, engines and monitors were secure and off, he stood quickly, taking my hand in his. He pulled me close, fiercely pressing his lips to mine, and holding my chin between his thumb and forefinger. Pulling away slightly, a grin spread across his boyish face and he sighed deeply, smoothing out my hair.

"Welcome home," he said softly. His hand squeezed mine and I squeezed back. He wasn't going to leave. Not now. Not ever. Even though the end of the journey had come with news we both couldn't bear, we had each other and in that exact moment, it was all that mattered to me.

We retrieved all our supplies and along with BB-8 walked to the ramp that would open and descend to the outside. Poe entered the code, hoisting his pack and mine onto his shoulders. His jaw clenched, his grip on my hand tightened. For the first time, I sensed nervousness from Poe. Unlike his quirky awkwardness around me, this time it was nervousness and anxiety that wished to impress and influence.

"Hey," I called out, just loud enough for him to hear. Poe glanced at me, a questioning look passing over his features. "It's gonna be alright. You're their hero."

Poe shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno. I wouldn't say that." He looked away. "I just did my job."

I didn't expect the words to sting, but I pushed it aside and smiled along with him, politely agreeing. A sound broke the barrier of the ship and with a loud groan, the ramp began to lower.

The instant we caught site of the crowd, Poe dropped my hand and raced forward, his hands opening wide as a loud cheer and shout broke out in loud ringing. I lifted my hands to my ears instinctively, shying back slightly as BB-8 rolled to my side. He bleeped gently, rubbing my leg, providing little comfort as his master soaked in the praises that were being yelled out.

So this was the Resistance?

I hadn't noticed that Poe had turned around to get me. The next thing I knew was that he was ushering me forward towards the bottom of the ramp. The crowds parted suddenly as more people pushed in front. Poe immediately was engulfed into the multitudes as I watched on. It wasn't until I neared the bottom that something caught my attention and I turned away from Poe to see who it was.

A woman stood not too far from the front of the crowd as we descended from the freighter. Her hair was tucked back in an elaborate bun; she wore simple colored clothing – shirts and a pair of pants accompanied by sturdy boots. Her face looked tired, worn and emaciated. The instant my eyes landed on her, I could already tell that this woman was the most important person on the whole entire Base. A lump formed in my throat and I tried to swallow it. I couldn't utter a word as she slowly walked up to me – hands crossed over her chest. She looked wary and I wondered why. It should have been me who was wary.

Poe had abandoned me once we left the plane. He'd been taken in by a large group of pilots and friends in a welcoming jeer. As the rest of the other folks swarmed the ship, the woman and I remained staring blankly at each other, five or so feet apart. The air was cold. Colder than I'd ever felt it before and I felt the light splash of a raindrop on my skin. The sky was clouded and grey – a boom of thunder sounded out in the far distance. I turned back to look at the woman to see she'd been studying me precariously. My instinct was to speak up – to confront her. But I didn't. I simply stared back, watchful. I found there was nothing to say. We both knew.

It was she who broke the silence first. She took another couple steps forward, closing the distance between us. It was as she reached me, that I noticed the thin lips on her face turned up in a soft smile and she opened her arms up just the slightest to pull me into a warm hug.

"Maia."

The instant we connected an overwhelming sense of shock, sadness, fear and vulnerability rocked me. I shook in her arms as she continued to hold me; she didn't mind the tears that cascaded down my cheeks and wet her clothes. She didn't care about the loud cries and deep breaths that racked and tore at my frail body. None of it seemed to matter. She continued to hold me, not letting go – even as others around us continued to cheer and applaud at the success of Poe's mission. To them, another great feat of work had been completed to aid the Resistance. Yes, the loss of one of their most prized and important colonel's had been witnessed and experienced but the joy that immersed and ran through everyone on the Base seemed to overpower the sadness and misery that subtly harrowed. Poe was once again a hero and every part of me rejoiced in his good deeds and works. It hadn't been his fault – the journey ending the way it had. He had no control over the course of it; he had no say in what happened. The Colonel's death had been unexpected to him. Poe's promise had lasted till the very end until he felt it was right to tell the truth. There was no wrong doing in his actions. He'd been a true pilot – a man who stuck to his word.

My cries had softened and now restrained to hiccups. My head ached from the pressure and my body throbbed, instantly craving a moment's rest. The woman must have known, for she pulled away and with another smile, patted my shoulder and took my hand, leading me away from the loading docks to the doors that led inside. She squeezed my hand gently, assuring me that from this moment forward everything was going to be fine. I didn't know the woman's name, I didn't know what ranking – what importance – she carried for the Resistance; but it was her eyes that told me everything I needed to know. It was her warmth – her motherly love that stretched out and caught hold of me. It was her presence that told me the long wait was over. I would finally know who I truly was. I would finally get the answers that I longed for.

Before going through the doors, I glanced back once more out onto the flight deck. There was still a large crowd around the freighter and I could barely make out BB-8 swiveling throughout and under all the feet and boots and figures. It was Poe though who caught my eye one last time. He'd been talking to a man in an orange suit; laughing and grinning from ear to ear. But it was when his eyes caught mine and held them, the grin fell slightly and the relaxed posture stiffened. The man speaking didn't notice the sudden change, but it was painstakingly clear to me that something in Poe had changed. Something was suddenly different. He didn't have to say anything. Neither did I. We would have plenty of time to talk later. He nodded his head, chin jutting out to bid me well. I barely lifted the free hand at my side.

"Maia?" The woman spoke my name again gently and I turned to her to see she had propped the door open for me to follow me in. I nodded my head, following her in, not glancing back out to notice that Poe had left the group and was following us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well they've officially made it back!!! Maia and Poe are safe!
> 
> VOTE. COMMENT. FOLLOW. ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS. Let me know what you think is gonna happen next! After this chapter, we've only got about eight left!!! Can you believe it!?
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter - Maia's new journey is only just beginning:)
> 
> All the love, xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	18. Poe

.: POE :. 

 

Upon reaching the main residence of the Base, I found a surreal sense of pride envelope me. Once again, I'd managed to go out on a dangerous mission and return with what was direly needed or wanted. There was an accolade of people waiting to embrace and praise me. And it felt so good. Like a drug – like an addiction.

But it also felt good to be home. It felt nice to see familiar faces and be greeted with joy and happiness rather than blank stares and strangers faces. There was no worry of breaking trust; there was only good vibes, great news, and profound delight.

I'd found Maia being taken off by General Organa. They both were headed towards the residences, most likely to clean up and speak later about many things Maia must have been wondering. It was right before they disappeared that I found Maia's eyes connecting with mine across the loading dock. They were soft, solemn. Her hand had reached up to wave as my head lifted to a curt nod. But midst it all, a feeling of uncertainty, uncomfortableness – something indescribable and unknown began to take root and grow. Looking at Maia, I felt unsettled, disturbed. The question why was repeating itself in my head. The wonder of "What now?" appeared, throwing out unsettling fear and notion of what would happen next.

The time to converse and chat with the others would have to wait for later. I followed Maia and the General, down the dock, through the doors only to find that upon entering into the cool building they had disappeared.

Instead of going off in search for them, I retired back to my bunk room where I lazily unpacked and settled in again. Matt – the young man who'd greeted me on my return from my last mission came by to inform me a little later on. It hit me then, how long I'd been gone for. Little had changed about him despite longer hair and a more mature demeanor. He appeared, shyly, though I ushered him in with excitement.

"General Organa wants me to inform you of your meeting with her, Commander." His hands were tucked behind his back, he was standing straight. If anything, the young man had been put through some training. He was turning into a smart, strong lad.

"What is the meeting concerning?"

"It's confidential, Commander." Matt tried to remain tight-lipped but he couldn't fight the smile that tore across his face. "But word has it; it's concerning the whereabouts of her brother – Luke Skywalker."

So I'd been right all along.

I tried to remain calm as Matt stood standing just shy inside the room. "Well – thank you. I'll make sure to see her as soon as I can." I grinned, not hiding the anticipation. "You know, you can tell me more if you want . . . The General sent you to me in the first place."

Matt couldn't seem to hold it in; he barreled further into the room, exhilarated and eager. "Supposedly, an ally has located a signature clue to Skywalker's whereabouts! The General is planning on sending you to retrieve it and bring it back!"

The news surprised me. I lowered my voice, causing Matt to do so as well. If anyone else heard, who knew how far it would spread. "Who's the ally?"

"No clue." Matt shook his head. "The General wouldn't specify . . . But she did mention something about the First Order knowing too. About there being a clue." I could sense dread lurking behind his words. "Word has it, the General only knows about the whereabouts to the ally and not the First Order, so we have the upper hand."

"The First Order knows?"

"Of course!" Matt assumed me oblivious. "Apparently Kylo Ren was informed. I don't know how, but he knows of the ally. Word is, he may send in forces to our Base so we may have to be on arms for a while until we're no longer threatened."

News of the First Order and Skywalker combined definitely sent trickles of worry and fear. We'd been long at conflict and combat with them, and without the help of the Republic we were small in numbers and had little to do to protect ourselves with. To get the clue of Skywalker's whereabouts would only put us another step ahead of the First Order and another step closer to restoring the Galaxy to its rightful and peaceful state.

I nodded my head, letting Matt know I had processed the news and was prepared to meet with the General. Whatever else there was to inform me about, she would let me know in our meeting.

"That'll be all, Matt. Thanks."

"Of course, Commander." Matt straightened up again and bid me well before leaving the room.

The next moments were left in solitude and silence. I continued to unpack. By now, the burns which had scarred my arms were gone. The stab wound in my abdomen was fully healed. I shrugged off my leather jacket and pants, changing into the Resistance uniform. A glance in the small nearby mirror reflected my tired and worn face. All seclusion was lost when I heard a knock at the door and turned to see who it was.

Fear. Gripping and immense erupted within me.

Maia. She leaned against the frame of the door, arms crossed over her chest with a soft smile appearing on her delicate features. She changed again – into something more comfortable from the dress; looking more like a Resistance worker with the tanned pants, blue shirt and black vest. Her dark hair hung loosely, just reaching her shoulders. Combat boots covered her feet, making up for the flats and broken sandals prior. She could tell I was looking her over entirely and pushed herself off the door frame and walked towards me with ease. A lump formed in the base of my throat as my body froze but eyes followed her until she reached me.

"The General had them made for me before we arrived." She shyly looked down at the clothes before looking back up. "She said dresses wouldn't be necessary anymore."

"Unles-"

"The funeral for the Colonel will be in the next few days." Maia cut me off. I noticed again how she used the word "Colonel" instead of "father". It was pointless to accuse her of it. For all I knew, maybe the word "father" was undesirable for her to say about Simon. She hadn't seen him since she was eight, and had barely remembered him until I had forced her to. Maia pushed the awkward silence aside, smiling and releasing a gentle laugh. "The General also mentioned there was going to be a Gala – something to celebrate my return. I didn't think they needed to do it but she insisted. She said I needed some kind of grand welcome. It worries me – I've never felt of such importance . . ." She paused before giving me a look. "Was the Colonel really that important?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, finally speaking. "He – he was – he was a man everyone respected."

Maia eyed me intently. She bit her lip, taking a small step back. "There was something on the ship you wanted to tell me – before we landed." Again, she crossed her arms over her chest. "What was it?"

I shook my head, looking away. "It was nothing . . ." I tried to smile at her. "Nothing at all. Don't worry."

Maia stood still as I went back to unpacking in my bunk. BB-8 still hadn't returned from his little adventure with C-3PO. Those two were always on minor adventures around the Base and for once I wished I had tagged along – or was out looking for them. More than anything, I didn't want to be in the room with Maia. A clock ticked near the door and I glanced up at it to check the time. The General had sent word my way; I should have already left to meet with her. Standing in this room with Maia only put more pressure on me to get up and leave. I felt suffocated and I didn't know why.

I was scared and getting back in my x-wing would be a relief. I didn't want to fly a freighter for a long time – possibly never again.

"I – I have to go," I said softly. I moved away from the bed, trying to get to the door. Maia stepped out, blocking my way.

"Why? Where are you going?" Her brows furrowed, confusion settling on her face.

"The General." I didn't want to tell her anything else. "She's got something for me. I think its news or information on the missing links to her brother."

Maia's eyes widened and her mouth gaped. "Lu – Luke Skywalker!" She gasped, eyes gleaming and smile growing. "The Luke Skywalker? So many claim he's a myth – the travelers on Tatooine claimed so but us natives new it couldn't be . . . There's still evidence of his family's home in the desert!" Maia reached out to grab my hands. "The General wants to send you out to find him?"

I released my hands from Maia who tried not to let it bother her as I attempted to walk around her. She followed behind, catching up as I walked out of the room down an empty hallway. "Poe," Maia ran to catch up with me. "You do realize what the General wants you to do, right?" She tugged on the fabric of my Resistance uniform – the one issued to wear if it wasn't the orange suit or causal leather jacket. I tried to walk ahead of her. "Poe, wait!"

"Poe, what's wrong with you?" Maia caught me in a hold and forced me to turn and look at her. She was flushed, out of breath. A laugh escaped her lips as if she thought all this chasing was some sort of joke. "Are you really this busy here?"

"Maia – not now . . ."

"Okay, well if not now, then how about later?"

I dropped my head. "I – I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?" Maia placed both hands on her hips, stepping closer. Her eyes narrowed to slits, her nostrils flared. Gone was the joking she had presumed. Gone was the busyness of my supposed schedule here at the Base. Maia was smart. That I knew for sure. She wasn't taking the silence anymore. She wasn't fooled by any of my antics. "Poe, what's wrong? Is there something going on? Are you in trouble?"

I lifted a hand to pass the question, shaking my head. "No. Nothing's wrong."

"Then what's up?" Her questioned was forced and she stepped forward, reaching out. Her hands wound up around my neck, fixing the collar on my uniform. Her face was so close to mine; her body pressed close. I could smell a soft floral scent coming off her skin, her clothes. I wanted to inhale her; I wanted her to shiver under my touch. For a brief moment, I thought she was going to kiss me. I thought she was going to ignore everything, and I was going to ignore the gnawing feeling of guilt and fear that built up within me. Never mind the truth that needed to come out. One more kiss. One more touch. One more night.

I pushed her away before I could give in to the temptation that tried to entice me. Maia looked on, baffled – hurt even. Her eyes glassed over as I turned once again to leave.

"Poe, is everything okay?" She asked deftly. Her voice was suddenly quieter. With my back to her, I instantly felt braver. The use of words was easy. The rolling of them off my lips was quick. Not looking at something that convicts you gives you momentum to say what you want to say – what you need to say.

"I can't do this."

Maia was quiet for a moment. My body stiffened.

Then, "can't do what?"

"This. Us." I finally turned back around to look at her. "You and me . . ." The next words were slightly harder to say. "We can't keep doing this anymore."

For once, the strong woman that I had met on Tatooine looked weak; feeble. Her shoulders slacked, her posture diminished to a sunken state. Her lips frowned and she took another step back – almost in what seemed to be denial and fear.

"Poe . . ." Maia was flabbergasted; she placed her hand on her chest, above her heart. Tears sprung up and out of her eyes. "Wh – why're you – what's wrong? Please – don't do this!"

I wanted to turn away from her. I wanted her to turn away from me. The last thing I wanted to see was her heart break – to see more pain swell up and detonate.

My chest filled with distress. "Maia-"

"No! Don't start!" Her face was red, wet with tears. "I know what you're going to do! You're going to make a bloody excuse and I'm not going to have any of it!" She waved a hand, breathing heavy. "Poe, ever since I've met you, you've constantly hid from the light and truth of what it truly means to love. You haven't given it really any thought have you? You don't understand the capacity of what it is to love. For all I know, you're just around for a good fuck and then you're done." Guilt lay ridden on her face as she said those words. "I gave myself to you." She pounded her chest. "I gave the very essence of myself – the most pure gift I could ever give. And you know what you did with it? Nothing. Nothing! You used me! And now you're walking away!" Her voice cracked, causing me to flinch. I kept a stoic face, hoping she thought none of this affected me.

"I had hope for you," she whispered. "I had such hope for you . . . When we left the ship, I had hope that maybe you'd stay. No – I knew you would stay. I didn't know it, but I was lying to myself. I was in denial." Maia shook her head. "How could I have actually thought that? How could I have been so stupid!?" She turned, almost as if to leave but instead whipped around again. "No. I'm not going to let myself walk away from this. I'm not going to let you walk away from this! Poe, you shouldn't be scared – you shouldn't have doubt!" More tears slipped out of her eyes. "You need to take a chance. You need to have faith! What would your mother think right now!? What would she wan-"

My hand slapped across her face, shutting her up with a loud smacking sound. It echoed off the walls, it ringed in my ears. The instant my hand dropped, a stinging began to throb throughout every inch in my entire body. I gulped, completely petrified at what I'd done. I looked at my hand in disbelief, trying to recall everything that had happened. But soon enough I was fuming. I was angry. And despite the look of fear and hurt that had crossed over Maia's face, my anger and madness only grew as I neared her and loomed over her short frame. Maia flinched, reeling away. Her hand cupped her cheek which bloomed red.

"Don't you ever," I hissed, closing in on her face, "bring up my mother . . . ever again."

"Poe," Maia sniffled, tears falling. She was afraid, but hiding it. "I know you're a good man. I know deep down you know the right thing . . . Now please." She closed her eyes and breathed deeply before opening her eyes again and staring at me. "Don't do this – not now."

"You need to go. Now." My voice was quiet, but stealthy. I turned away, feeling sick to my stomach. Maia took a sharp intake of breath and I could barely see her reach out to hold on to something to keep her balance. The walls felt like they were closing in. I didn't bother to look back again as I began walking away. I could only hear Maia fall to the floor – her hands slamming down on the cool metal as her sobs overtook her body and overwhelmed her being. Every bone, every fiber in me wanted to turn around and run back to her. But I couldn't. Maia was right but I didn't want her to know it. I was too scared. I lacked the courage.

But this was the way it had to be. This was the way it would remain.

No more. No more.

I was a pilot.

Alone I would remain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What - I'm okay - it's just I've got a little dust in my eye. My contacts are bothering me. These aren't real tears.
> 
> I don't know what to say, and frankly I'm too sad to even speak. Sometimes I hate myself for writing such emotionally compromising stories:3 
> 
> Please remember to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS. 
> 
> In good news compared to this emotionally sad and heart-wrenching chapter, I've had to drop a class so that clears up a ton of time for me to update more:) So be on the lookout.
> 
> Keep hanging in there with this story - I promise you won't regret it. Even if it seems so dark right now. Just have faith:) xoxo
> 
> All the love, xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	19. Maia

.: MAIA :.

 

It was the General who found me. Somehow, I hadn't moved from the position on the ground in the hallway and before anyone else could have come down the way, it had been General Organa who came to the rescue. Her hands were soft, gentle as she lifted me up and tenderly wrapped me in her arms. I couldn't cry; I was numb. The only thing I could feel was the stinging on my cheek which throbbed even far past the soothing of ice and polite and compassionate glances that had met me in the medical bay.

"What happened?" Some people bothered to ask; worry instantly would cross over their features.

"Just my clumsy feet." I forced the lie, smiling the best I could. "I'm only used to walking in sand." That earned more laughs than I predicted it would.

The General kept herself busy but I was always in the same room as her. I don't think she wanted me anywhere else. All the while I hadn't seen Poe at all. It was as if he'd disappeared. Had he already gone off on another mission? I'd assumed he'd already talked with the General about the mission even before she'd found me. As far as I knew she hadn't changed her mind about sending him. He wasn't brought up at all – what she in fact told me was about her own son. Something she very rarely spoke about. A surprise to find out – her son was Kylo Ren. Of all people. I clung on to her every word as she told the story and saw tears sprinkle up in her eyes as well when she spoke of the sadness that had been overwhelming when she found he'd been seduced to the Dark Side. Her ex-husband – the infamous Han Solo – was off to his smuggling ways again. "As I returned to the only thing I knew as well," she added with a knowing smile. "We both went back and all along we thought there was nothing we could do to protect or persuade our son to come home." She pulled out a picture of him later – he was far younger in the photo than he was now.

"For all I know, he could have grown his hair out longer or cut it all off . . . He could have changed dramatically." The photo was a simple black and white but ever so I could still make out striking and specific features: Dark brown eyes with black hair and a long nose. A face that never smiled; for he stared directly into the camera and all I could pull from its depths was a child who simply had felt abandoned. The General even confessed to the blame she felt, saying her ideas to send him away with her brother were foul and wrong. "What I didn't understand at the time was that he needed his family. His parents; a loving environment. I was too selfish and caught up in my own problems to take notice."

Although it was a heart-breaking story, the General told me she had hope. "There's still light in him. There's still good. I can feel it." She smiled – a smile that for all I could tell was a secret. Something only few people saw. "I know my son. Where there's still life and light, there's still hope."

I wanted to take her words to heart. I truly did. But the events that had taken place – the actions that had been made – only caused me to wonder and question about the many things I'd dreamt on Tatooine. As a young girl the thought of being rescued and taken back to safety automatically prized me with a loving environment and safe keeping. Although the Resistance Base was safe and caring, I continued to feel out of place. It wasn't until I applied myself in the medical bay and ward helping alongside Doctor Kalonia, that I began to feel more comfortable and at ease. And I adored Dr. Kalonia. She was a wise soul and very hands on in her teaching. Before I knew it, I was already bandaging, stitching and working on patients on my own. I continued to apply myself in the medical bay and never left until Doctor Kalonia forced me to get some rest. Day in and day out I was fast at work and fast at completely my jobs. Staying busy helped me focus on far better things that needed attention or attending to. It kept me busy and my mind off other matters. Through my job I was able to meet kind folks who expressed awe and wonder at my story – even offering to show me around more of the Base or planet. I took up many offers, although it was too busy to go exploring at the moment. Later though. I awaited the adventures with each passing day as I continued to work.

The first time I saw him on Base after the incident in the hallway, I thought I was going to have an episode. Panic swelled up in me. My heart felt like it was going to explode. I had been working on a pilot who'd crash landed an x-wing on a practice run. He'd cut his hand – a deep wound that seemed inexplicably odd. I was scrummaging through a shelf of bandages and stitches, trying to figure out which one would hold the wound better when I caught sight of Poe walking through the ward on the opposite side. I must have been hidden well – he didn't see me and continued to pass through the ward without speculating my presence. I clung to the shelf, trying to regain balance which I'd lost. I was suddenly sick and pale. Dr. Kalonia must have noticed for she rushed to my aide and enforced me to go lie down and rest in my room. I had tried to fight her on it but she refused. I sulked off to my bunk without hesitance and skipped dinner altogether, lying in darkness till the early morning rays of the next morning bid me out of bed. 

The Colonel's memorial service was that day.

I didn't cry the entire funeral. I sat in the front row of guests who had come to attend. The General remained by my side, even as the pallbearer's gathered the casket and walked down the long aisle to the ceremonial burial. I remained stoic, calm and at ease. I didn't bother to look inside the casket either at the man who claimed to be my father. For all I knew, my father was nonexistent like my mother and I was simply a special case, crafted by hands that were not of the world or galaxy. Where I began was a mystery and one I had no intentions or desires to figure out. My new beginning began the minute I stepped out of the freighter on to the Base. Anything prior was my dreams and imaginations. How I ended up here, I presumed was by magic.

I forced myself to believe it, but no matter what, couldn't. Everything loomed over me and came back in my dreams. Nightmares plagued my thoughts and mind and I woke up in the middle of the nights in a cold sweat. It was more time spent trying to fall asleep than actually getting sleep. And when I woke up in the morning, sickness overwhelmed me until I felt like I couldn't move anymore. I'd vomit for what seemed like hours in intervals until I felt like I'd pass out on the floor beside the toilet. It took great strength to put on clothes and get on with the day, but when I was finally up and moving, I felt better and even more relaxed. Resting was for the weak – I had learned that for the past thirteen years. I refused to let my own thoughts plague me and push me down. 

Eventually it came time for the gala and celebration. Leia – as she now made me call her – had presented me with a formal and classic ballroom gown which she'd once worn during her days as a young princess. "It was one of my favorites," she gleamed delightfully. "I danced in it all the time – the fabric flowed, like a watercolor almost. Everyone was dazzled by it, like how they should be dazzled and in awe of you when you wear it."

I had wanted to refuse. The dress was too fancy – too much of her own for me to wear. But she insisted. When I first tried it on, I didn't recognize the young woman that stared back at me in the mirror. She looked different. Her face was fuller – maybe from sickness and the affects it had on her body. Her hair was a little longer, and could be tied up in buns or immaculate hairstyles. Brown eyes that had once been glassy and full of light looked duller. Her skin was still pale, but she finally looked heavier, less mal-nutritioned from the days on Tatooine where she sometimes wouldn't receive food.

It was a different woman in the mirror. Someone new. Someone I felt excited to meet and grow with.

"Will he be there?" My question was a surprise to Leia as she tied and wound up the dress from behind. I sucked in a breath, feeling my lungs constrict and contract. How long would they feel like that? Hopefully not long.

"I'm not sure. He leaves in the morning for Jakku." Leia came around, observing her job. She pushed aside the subject of Poe. A smile spread across her lips. "I have to say, you wear this gown far better than I could have when I was you age."

I blushed, looking down and letting my hands run over the blue fabric. "You shouldn't say that." I glanced at her, smiling back. "I'm only a girl – not a princess."

"I'm not fond of my title," Leia mused, "I believe someone like you is deserving of it rather than me." She stepped towards me, placing a hand on my cheek and smiled; the motherly smile that provided such comfort and peace. "You my darling, look regal. Stunning. Enchanting . . . Your father would be so proud of you; I want you to know that."

At the mention of the Colonel, I lowered my head, staring at my feet which had been donned in silver slippers – they matched the gown with essence. "The Colo – I mean my father . . ." It was hard to even say the words. "I heard about him once before I arrived but-" I looked at Leia, desperate to know the real answer. "What was he like?"

Leia watched me carefully. I could read her face; see the contemplation she fought, trying to figure what to say. I took her hands into mine, squeezing them lightly. "Please. Tell me. Tell me the truth. I just want to know – was he a good man? Did he do what he did with the right intentions in mind? Did he know what would happen?"

"Maia," Leia didn't take her hands out from mine. Rather she squeezed tighter, reassuring me with every fiber in her body. "You father was a man who was true to his word. He wanted the very best for you – even though you may have suffered for those thirteen years, he didn't know. He only wanted you safe. Away from harm . . . If he had known what you'd been through, I know he would have fought for you till his last breath." She smiled. "He loved you, my dear. He loved you more than you will ever know or comprehend. Take it from me – as a parent who loves her child and wants nothing more than for them to be safe . . . Maybe someday you will understand too."

"If that is true – what you say about my father, than I believe." Tears sprung to my eyes. "Oh how I wish I could have said goodbye."

"There was nothing you could have done, my dear. He was already so sick when Poe left to rescue you . . . there was nothing that could be done. Doctor Kalonia tried her very best." She sounded sad recalling the events. "His last words were about you though. He wanted me to promise him that whatever happened, you would remain safe."

"Why Poe?" I asked. "Of all people, why Poe?"

"To go on the mission?" Leia tilted her head to the side, thinking. "We had proposed the mission to the entire pilot's committee but it had been Poe who took the stand. He had only arrived back from one of his other trips when he volunteered." Leia remembered, continuing on. "I don't think he knew what he was getting himself into. He may be our best pilot, but underneath that confident and brave character is a man who is fearful and hurting . . . I'm sure you know about his mother?"

I nodded my head. Not only from Maz had I heard it, but also from Poe himself on the ship.

"I won't go into further details, since you already know, but the loss you feel upon the passing of a parent or any family member is devastating. Especially for Poe – his mother was a pilot for the Republic and had worked alongside my brother, so she never truly saw her son. It wasn't until her and Kes – her husband – retired and moved to Yavin 4 did she really bond with her son . . . she taught the boy to fly for heaven's sake. It's the only thing he knows. And when he lost his mother, I don't think he ever truly learned what it was like to love in return. The only one who he ever felt love from suddenly was gone – as a boy you feel the necessity to let go of that hope." I could tell she was thinking about her son as well. "But we mustn't dwell on the sad and unrequited. We must only look forward."

She was wise. Wiser beyond words. I only wished that I could gain some of it from spending time with her.

"I only wish I could have the wisdom you possess," I sighed softly. "That way I'd know how to navigate the pain."

"Navigating around pain isn't always the best thing you can do," Leia interjected. "Sometimes there is the demand to feel. Without feeling, who are we to know the world and the others around us?" She gave me a look. "Rejoice in your pain. You grow and blossom in the midst of it."

The thought of pain reminded me of the idea of Poe being at the gala tonight. I felt my body grow rigid and my stomach grow queasy. What would there be for me to do? To say? Fear pricked and crept – like a crouching lion ready to pounce on its prey; it waited for the right moment to attack and let loose the string of lies that would ensnare my innermost being. Courage felt foreign. Fleeing and disappearing felt familiar.

"Do you – will he-" The words jumbled out of my mouth. "Will he be there? Tonight?"

The question which had been asked before once again, brought itself up. I was scared to ask it this time, but something told me Leia had been expecting it. The minute the question passed through my lips into the air, I instantly regretted saying them, in fear Leia would grow passive.

This time, Leia didn't ignore it again. She answered me with a knowing smile.

"If that man is going to show up tonight with no intentions of apologizing, I'll send him on the mission to Jakku right then and there!" We both laughed at her remark, standing from the bed, instant relief washing over me. I didn't let go of her hand as she led me out of my room. "Come one now, let's go. We've got a celebration to attend to, and we can't have our guest of honor be late, can we?"

"No." For once I let everything go. I let my hauntings, my memories – all of it fade. I smiled at Leia. "We cannot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want a Leia in my life. Such a wise woman and also a complete badass who rocks:3 hehe
> 
> We're getting down to the wire ya'll! Can you believe it!? I seriously can't believe how far we've come. It's crazy!
> 
> Remember to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW, AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:) I love to see what you all think!
> 
> All the love, xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	20. Maia

.: MAIA :. 

 

To say in the least, Leia and I were fashionably late to the gala, and it didn't stop us from making a grand entrance as well.

I don't think I'd ever felt so watched upon and stared at. My pulse was rushing as we both descended the stairs to the main floor. Leia greeted everyone happily and officially announced the start to the celebrations as everyone cheered and began to merrily dance, wine and dine, or chat. I stood to the side; quiet and timid. It wasn't until I found myself in conversation with a few of Leia's friends and special colleagues that I finally opened up.

All of them were incredibly friendly and they listened with deep intensity to the stories I gave about my years on Tatooine. Some even begged to ask a few questions. Were the legends and myths about Luke Skywalker true? Could you still find remnants of the house where he'd grown up? Did you ever try escaping for freedom? I made sure to answer all the inquiries, making sure to not leaving one detail out. It was quite a delight – everyone was engrossed in my tales. Especially the one about journeying out to the old Skywalker house to gather and scavenge for remains and supplies. Typically my owners wanted relics to sell in the markets. I could remember long days spent in the heat of the desert and sand in the middle of nowhere; only accompanied by a weak droid and rucksack to pack the findings in. Most of the time, I returned with few to little items and went to bed with no dinner before being sent out the next day. I always made a promise to myself to find something of some importance. I wanted to prove my worth. That's why if you found something related to the Skywalker Hut you practically struck gold on Tatooine.

But it was during those quiet moments when no one was speaking to me, passing glances were the only greetings and I was left alone, that I thought of him. I kept twisting the small handkerchief in my hands, trying not to appear too frazzled. My eyes kept darting around the perimeter of the room wondering if I was going to catch even one glance of him. The question I asked myself was what would I do if I saw him? How would I react? It would be awfully humiliating to collapse or lose my sanity if he were to walk in and make a show.

But I knew Poe.

As far as I perceived, he wouldn't be coming tonight. He left for Jakku tomorrow in the early hours of the morning. Leia would be speaking with him briefly before he left. I wasn't one to badger, but I did let a couple questions slip; how long would he be gone for? How far is Jakku from D'qar? Will he be safe on his own? Leia answered my slight interrogation with blunt honesty, and I knew she understood my worry for him. Despite the heartache, you can't help but still feel for the person who wronged you. Leia said it to me herself. "Knowing you still care for him, shows you have a heart. You feel what many others can't. To possess such emotion and care for a person who wronged you proves that you forgive with rich and abounding love. Hold on to it."

Although she spoke wise words, for once I wanted to disagree with her. Holding on to this love hurt too much. Letting go of it seemed a better option; I just didn't know how.

After making the rounds in long conversation and exchange, I regrouped with Leia near the staircase. She'd been bombarded by so many others who begged to ask about the rumors of the First Order. Supposedly they were looking for something – what was it? Did she know? Was the Resistance going to do anything about it? Of course, I knew the answer. It was all about Luke. Finding Luke was the key to unlocking an anecdote and answer to defeating the First Order. The other pilots, lieutenants and workers were curious in what the General would tell them but she refused to take part in such topics and discussion.

"I know nothing," she claimed, jutting her chin out. "When news reaches us, that's when I'll alert you all."

Her lie was plain spoken and most everyone became calm and at ease. Little did they know the growing threat that managed to be thrown around as a rumor. Anything that would give hints or ideas of a map to Luke or an attack by the First Order would throw everyone into a frenzy. I understood why Leia wanted to be so secretive about it. Another word and the plan would go up in smokes.

"I'm sure a lot of the young men here tonight would like to dance with you," Leia mused as we stood watching the crowd. A few folks stared over our way, and I watched as Leia stood beside me regally. Her elegance and sophistication seemed to put the guests in their best behavior – and intimidation!

I blushed, trying to find something to stare at that didn't have eyes. "I don't know if they'll have what it takes to ask me when you're around . . ." I gave her a knowing look. "Frankly, I'm not much for dancing."

"Hm. You seem like the dancing type."

"I don't think I've danced since I was a little girl . . ." The sentence was faltered as the memories of Poe and I dancing on Takodana at Maz's castle flashed through my mind. I instantly stood straighter, clenching my jaw as I tried to rid the recollection. I smiled at those passing by, lifting a slight hand to wave.

"I think Liam wants to ask you for a dance." Leia nudged my side and I looked to the young man standing a few feet away with a group of pilots. His sandy blonde hair and almond shaped eyes balanced out the crooked nose and smile, complimenting his features. Handsome all the same, he grinned shyly before looking away. I felt my cheeks grow rosy again as I looked at Leia for certain.

"I barely know him."

"Well that shouldn't stop you." Leia gave a sly grin. "This is your night. Have a little fun. There are not many nights like these often. Most of the time we're fighting to stay alive or fighting to keep the galaxy in its rightful state." She looked out into the audience pausing briefly as her eyes scanned the room. "Everyone soaks up the joy like a sponge. We don't know how much we can get of it before it's gone or too late."

"I don't get why everyone is so fascinated by me." I shrugged my shoulders, looking at the wrinkled handkerchief. My hands ached from pulling and tugging at it. My nerves and anxieties ran amuck in fear of what would occur if Poe were to turn up. If anything, Leia could ease my worry with something else.

Her smile was gentle and hesitant. "Everyone here held high respect for your father. Though you may just claim to be a normal young woman working in the medical bay and cleaning the scraps and cuts on our soldiers and pilots, they still see you as Simon's daughter and someone to be respected with the utmost importance. . . like me." We both giggled. "You'll get used to it. I've been having to get used to it my whole life – and sometimes I still can't seem to wrap my head around it!"

"Well, you handle it all far better than I would be able to."

"That's a flat out lie. You handle your status far better than I did at your age."

"I thin-" I started to reiterate but stopped when my eyes came into contact with movement across the room. I placed a hand over my stomach. All muscles in my body seemed to contract and cease up. My mouth lost the ability to speak words for a minute. The breath was knocked out of my lungs.

Out in the center of the room stood Poe. All too soon I was washed over with sickness and I careened forward as Leia tried to hold me up.

"Maia, are you alright?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," I gasped. I attempted to fan myself as others around us briefly stopped talking to catch sight of my growing anxiety. "I need to get some air."

"Do you want me to accompany you?" Leia didn't let go of my arm, hesitant and fearing that if she let me go I'd collapse.

I shook my head, taking deep breaths. "No. Please. Don't worry about me – I just need a moment." I forced a smile even though it was hard to. "If you'll excuse me."

Maneuvering around a group of folks, I tried to make my way over to the staircase. It was just before then that I regretfully looked over once more to see if he was still where he'd been when I first saw him.

He was.

In an instant, our eyes locked from across the room. Poe didn't move. He didn't tense up or even flinch. His brown eyes stared directly at mine, not breaking contact; and for a brief moment it felt like we were back on the ship – just the two of us. No one else was there to tear us apart – not even ourselves. No one was there to witness what the two of us only had to experience. Amongst everyone, we just looked like two guests at the gala bored out of our minds, waiting for some kind of escape. But we were both hiding such big secrets. We were hiding from each other. We were hiding everything from each other.

He looked so lifeless. Numb. Like he couldn't feel a thing. But at the same time he looked just like he always did. Handsome, confident and charismatic. Charming. I saw it all the time on Base – I heard it too. All the girls would gossip, all the crushes and unrequited thoughts were spent or focused on Poe. They couldn't help themselves. I sure as hell couldn't. The giggles, sighs and attempted flirtatious moves were ignored by him though. He was too focused on his work – on his mission. It was hard to get him to let go.

I knew that all too well.

Poe's eyes didn't break from mine even as I began hyperventilating. My chest heaved as I scrambled up the steps, holding the ends of the dress off the ground so I wouldn't trip.

No one seemed to take notice that the honorary guest was trying to make a hasty exit. They didn't seem to notice the tears that slipped down my cheeks, or my face that flushed red. I ducked my head at the top of the steps, racing out of the room, hoping no one was following. For all I knew, no one noticed me disappear into the night. I had no intentions of returning. I'd go to my room and spend the rest of the evening there. I'd wake up the next morning and if anyone asked me what was wrong I'd fib and tell a lie about how I felt faint and needed rest. I knew Leia would be able to figure out the truth – she wasn't one for taking false stories. But she wasn't one to press for the truth either.

All I knew was that I needed to get out. Leave. I didn't need comfort, I didn't need pity. I needed to be alone – to collect myself and my situation. It wasn't going to be easy, but I had to move on. I needed to learn to get up and brush off the heartache. Time was not of the essence and it couldn't be wasted in sorrow. I should have known. I had lived with sorrow for too long – it was time to be rid of it.

I left the gala and didn't look back.

As I raced down the long corridors and hallways trying not to trip or fall, I felt an odd sense of conviction rise within me.

I wasn't supposed to be the one running away.

I was supposed to be the one who confronted rather than cowered. What I was doing now was going against every word I had said to Poe. Every action I had made prior now meant nothing. I was bloody stupid. Ignorant. Unwise.

But that didn't seem to stop me. Not one bit.

Nothing at this point was going to stop me or drive me to a sudden halt. If anything was, it had to be for a good reason.

Not even the sound of shoes slapping on pavement tore me from my daze as I wandered the Base back to my room.

Not even the sound of my name being called out could break me from the hurt that echoed louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting down to the wire and I literally cannot contain my excitement:3 I can't wait for you all to read what's in store next!
> 
> VOTE. COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT! FOLLOW. ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:) I really want to know what you all think is going to happen so don't be afraid to comment the heck out of this story and the rest of it!
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)


	21. Poe

.: POE :. 

 

She couldn't hear me running after her. She couldn't hear me calling out her name.

I'd seen her running up the flight of stairs practically in tears.

It didn't take long for me to follow her. At first I tried to keep my feet planted to the ground – to forget and instead enjoy my last night at the Base before I left in the morning. I wanted to forget the moment in the hallway – the instant my hand came in contact with her face. I thought I wouldn't feel a thing but in fact, the second after doing it a deep sense of regret had wedged itself inside me. I couldn't forget it, even after I fled the scene and left.

For the last couple weeks, I'd been miserable. Preparing for the secret mission to Jakku was my top priority but midst it all I was a mess. Part of me didn't want to confront any of it so I continued to put all my thoughts and work into formulating the trip. The General kept me busy and for that I was grateful. But despite all that had happened, I couldn't get any of the memories out of my head. Even from the trip. Every night when I undressed I met the long jagged but faint scar that had been touched and stitched by the gentle hands I'd pushed away from the start.

I'd been convicted – guilt ridden.

The minute I saw her at the gala I knew what I had to do. But it was having the courage to speak with her that made me follow her out. Fear had almost kept my feet planted firmly on the ground. If it hadn't been for the slight tug – the pull – I don't think I would have gone after her.

There was no hesitation after. I took off at a run.

"Maia!" I shouted, this time louder. She didn't freeze up or slow down. In fact, I think she ran even faster. I picked up my pace, following the billowing fabric like I was following a girl who had magically come into my life for one night and then was disappearing.

My feet slammed on the ground, continuing to catch up with her. We rounded a corner, almost nearing the loading docks. It was there that Maia suddenly stopped, heaving over, choking and coughing and retching. She looked weak – feeble. My feet moved faster and I raced with all my might to reach her, panic setting in.

"Maia! Are you okay?" I reached out, trying to stand her up but she pushed me away, moving towards a pillar and reaching out to hold on to it. I backed up, shocked. Maia hid her face from me. If she was sick, then maybe she didn't want me to know. Maybe she didn't want me to see her crying again.

For as long as I remembered, crying had been a sign of weakness.

Now I looked at it as if it were strength.

"Maia." I said her name again, taking a careful step forward. My hand reached out, gently touching the dark fabric of her dress. It was smooth – delicate. Quite opposite of her.

"Are you okay?" I asked. My voice sounded shaken. Maia didn't flinch as I turned her gently around. Upon looking at her face, drinking her in – I didn't realize how much of her had changed in the few weeks we'd been separated.

She was fuller. Healthier. Gone was the slave girl who had first boarded my ship. Standing in front of me was a woman who thrived in the midst of pain.

I gulped, re-situating my feet. "You – you look beautiful," I whispered. My eyes widened as I continued to look her over. It wasn't just the dress that accentuated her beauty but how she held herself. I was stunned. I was shocked.

I had been an idiot.

"You say that now?" Maia grumbled, rolling her eyes. She attempted to move by, passing me. "If you'll excuse me, I'm headed to my room. I feel ill."

"Oh. Let me accompany you – so you get there alright." I reached out once again to take her by the arm to lead her, but she shrugged me off.

"I can handle myself, thank you!"

"Maia, please, let me just help you."

"You're the bloody last person I'd want help from!" She whipped around hissing the words. "Why are you suddenly acting this way? What have you done that makes you feel that everything between us is fine?"

"That isn't the reas-"

"Just go! I want to be alone," Maia whimpered. "I'm sick of feeling this way! I'm sick of this pain – pain you caused!"

"Maia, I'm sorry!"

She halted in her steps, turning around. Her face was full of wonder. Shock. She didn't need to say anything. I took a couple steps forward, trying to close more distance between us.

"I was wrong," I finally said. My hands dropped to my sides. "I was wrong. My actions were wrong. How I treated you was wrong."

Maia watched me precariously. Her eyes were dark. He face was that of a stubborn young girl refusing to believe what she was listening to. I took a step towards her, but she shied away. Instantly a surprising amount of guilt welled up in me. The hand that had been reaching for her dropped. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

There were ten feet between us but it sure felt like there was more.

"Maia," I started but stopped myself. I averted my eyes away, trying to play it casual. Eventually, nothing was working. I couldn't keep the humility away. Pride had been a common character of mine. Taking ownership for my wrong doings was typically easy. But this? This situation – this fault of mine that destroyed a relationship, friendship and trust? This was the hardest thing I could own up to.

"Maia, just listen to me for a minute."

"What if I don't want to?" Maia situated herself so her arms were crossed over her chest. "Do you know how much agony you've put me through these last few weeks? I've been sick to my stomach and have been plagued with anxiety attacks." Her dress swayed as she stepped forward. "I've had to lie to so many people – telling them I'm happy when I'm not. I thought when I came here everything would be okay and I'd finally be able to get the life I deserved and wanted. But no." Maia shook her head, heat rushing to her face. "I've had to deal with you. I've had to deal with the one person who used to make me feel wanted – feel loved."

Clenching her hands into fists she looked me squarely in the face. No more tears clouded her eyes. For once, the girl who'd formally looked so weak instead faced me with strength and dignified spirit. "But from now on, I'm not going to let that get to me." She shook her head. "Not anymore. From this day forward I'm going to do something with the new life I've been given. I'm going to be happy – even though there may be days that won't want me to be. I'm not going to let one trial ruin what I've been presented with. I may have never known the family I once had – I may have never remembered them – but this is my new family. This place has provided me with the love, comfort and stability that I needed to start over again. And you – no matter what you've done, I'll forgive you. It may take time, but I will. Because living with regret and hate and remorse is worse. Forgiveness leads to freedom and bloody hell it's taken me a while to realize that – but now I do." Maia finished, her face serene. Her eyes glowed vibrantly. Everything about her was flourishing, and it had taken me forever to see it. I'd been blind. I'd been utterly foolish.

"You forgive me?" I choked. I stared at her in what seemed to be disbelief. Maia watched me intently, her eyes not once blinking.

All that I had wanted to say had already been taken and mulled over. There was no waiting – no worrying about what would happen next. Maia already had her answer.

"Of course," she sighed. Her face calmed. I could already sense and feel her change in heart. "But it won't ever make me forget what happened between us. I can never forget."

"I was so cruel," I replied, "I didn't want you to see through. But God damnit, somehow you seem to know everything about me, and I don't know how it's possible." I stepped closer to her. "You know me better than I seem to know myself these days. You believed in my utter foolishness and saw through that dumb façade that I put on."

"It wasn't hard to notice."

"How? Everyone else seems to believe it."

"You'd be surprised to know the ones that see past it." Maia's head tilted to the side. "Your mother . . . she saw it too."

I hung my head in defeat. I didn't need to confirm it for her – Maia already knew.

"Poe." My name on her lips caused me to lift my head up. Tears filled my eyes. A pain – indescribable really – tore through my insides. Before I knew it, my shoulders were shaking, my knees were wobbling. I was falling to the floor, Maia rushing to me. Her hands reached out, grabbing mine as she knelt in front of me. Her words were hushed, her voice comforting as my body continued to rack with sobs. For the first time in my life since the day my mother had died, I cried. I finally let all the grief – the mourning – greet me in its embrace.

Maia reached forward. She held me, letting me cry all the tears I could until there weren't any left to shed. Her arms were like a protective shield. Even as she hummed gently and continued to whisper the same words over and over again, causing the overwhelming sense of compassion to fill me up.

"I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you."

She didn't let go of me. Not for a second. Even when she finally stood the both of us up, she didn't free herself from my embrace but rather curled into my arms, pressing herself to me, holding me. Continually whispering the same words.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

How could a young woman with so much of her life spent in hatred and pain, learn to forgive and love with reckless abandon?

When she pulled away, a soft smile was on her face. She ran a hand through my curls, and then moved to cup my cheek gently. "See?" she mused, "it's okay to cry. We all must at some point."

"How do you do it so easily?" I inquired, "how can you be so kind? Even after what I did?"

Her eyes dilated at the question but soon enough retreated back to a warm gaze.

"You'll learn soon enough," she murmured.

"I love you," I said. "I love you and I hope you know that. I want you to know that. I want you to know that I'm changed because of you. You made me see what was there all along. I was too blind – too stupid to realize it." I pressed my forehead to hers, closing my eyes. "Maia, I love you."

She giggled, "I know."

"I leave for Jakku in the morning." My eyes opened, meeting hers. I began counting the faint freckles on her nose. You couldn't see them from far away. Maybe that's why I didn't notice them until now.

Everything about her seemed new. Like I was seeing her in a different light.

For the better.

"I know," she said, "Leia told me." She paused. "How long will you be gone?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's hard to tell." My hands cupped her face, as a smile spread across my lips. "But we've got tonight. That's what matters."

Maia blushed, looking down shyly. "You really do mean it? When you say you love me?"

"I'm done lying to you. I'm done holding back." I made her look at me again. "You trust me, yeah?"

Maia bit her lip, nodding her head. "I trust you."

"You do?"

She rolled her eyes. "Are we really discussing this now? You leave tomorrow!" She closed in on me. "Unless you're trying to tell me otherwise?"

Her arms encircled around my neck as I gazed down at her. Her brown eyes met mine and her lips brushed against me before she firmly pressed into the kiss. My hands traveled to her waist, pulling her in tighter. There was no need to speak, no need to say a word. We both knew.

Maia broke from the kiss, pulling away slightly. Her hands unlatched from my neck and fell. I caught one of her hands in my own and squeezed it gently.

"C'mon," I whispered, cocking my head and urging for her to follow. "Let's go."

"Where? Back to the gala?"

"No." I shook my head. "Someplace where it's only us."

_______

I watched her sleep - as weird as it sounded. The moon had somehow reflected it's light into the small bunk room, and the way it shined on Maia's pale skin almost lit up the whole of the interior on its own. We'd been curled up in the sheets, our clothes discarded on the cold floor, and we hadn't left each other for a second.

Maia's bare chest steadily moved up and down. Her hair had been teased and pulled out of her bun so that it fell in tresses and curls around her head and on the pillow. Lips pursed and eyebrows drawn down, she almost looked concentrated on sleeping while she dreamed.

It was hard for me to take it all in. In just mere hours I would be leaving in my x-wing to Jakku. Like before leaving for Tatooine, I wondered how long the trip would take? How long would it take me to find the piece of the map? Would the mission even be successful? I was seemingly counting down the hours, the seconds and the minutes to when I had to leave. It was becoming unbearable.

What about Maia? My thoughts swirled and mixed together. Worry tried to push its way through and destroy the small amount of hope I had grasped ahold of.

Would she be okay without me?

It took me a second to calm down. The answer was staring me straight in the face.

No doubt about it. The girl was a whip. One with true grit. She'd be more than okay.

Maia turned over, curling into my chest. Her skin was cold against mine and I held her close, warming her up. She didn't wake; her breathing was still steady, her snores faint. I smiled as a little whistle escaped her lips and then gently kissed the top of her head.

"You'll be alright," I whispered quietly in the night. "You won't even know I'm gone."

I didn't know why I was talking to her while she slept. But despite the few minutes we'd have saying goodbye tomorrow, I somehow felt these words I was saying to her now would get to her eventually.

"You're gonna be the death of me too. Don't know how but you are." My hands freed her hair from the bun, running through and breaking the small knots. "I made quite a mess and somehow you were able to piece it all back up. You're a miracle worker - with hands and words. Damn jealous of ya." My laugh was quiet as I remarked on my words. If Maia were awake, she'd be making me repeat them again and again. I know she would. She wouldn't let up until I shut her up with kisses and more.

"I want you to know how proud you've made me. I want you to know it's all because of you that I've become a better man." I pressed my mouth onto her head, kissing her, trying to soak up every piece of her that I could. Out of the two of us, she was going to be the strong one. I wasn't. My eyes stung and once again I let the tears fall. I was quiet, and Maia continued to sleep contently. My hands went down her body, smoothing over her soft skin. I felt the scars from the whipping; I felt the small bump and curves along her hips and waist. I kissed her over and over. I wanted to feel each one of them when I left in the morning.

My eyes were growing heavy and drowsiness had finally decided to lay its blanket over me. Maia stirred in my arms, even as I dozed off. My pulse slowed to the same pace as hers. My arms held her and didn't let go.

"You do something for me when I'm gone, okay?" I asked her quietly. "You work hard. Go save some lives or heal. Smile and be a light. Love with passion and don't stop." I smiled at the last rule. That wouldn't be hard for her to obey.

There was one more thing. And this was what I wanted her to hear above all else.

"But most importantly, know I'll come back for you. I promise. Whatever storm may come or whatever war may start, I'll come back home . . . I won't leave again, I promise. You'll always have me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm all hung up on Poe/Maia feelings:3 I can't believe we're almost done! Just four chapters left! Can you believe it!?
> 
> I apologize for updating later than I had planned to. A lot of things have been happening in my life and it's been hard to sit down and relax! But luckily I had some spare time today/tonight to get it up for you all:)
> 
> Remember to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW, AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:)
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Who's happy Poe and Maia reunited!? If so say "I"!
> 
> Good news too! A lovely friend of mine is making the trailer to this story so be on the lookout for it soon:) 
> 
> All the love, xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	22. Poe

.: POE :. 

 

I made sure everything was in order. There wasn't much I needed to take this time, and for that I was thankful.

I left Maia sleeping in the bed. She seemed like she needed more rest than ever. Not even the creak in the mattress, the weight being lifted or the movement and sound of me disappearing seemed to wake her from her slumber. She snoozed peacefully, not fluttering a lash as I dressed and got ready – attempting to look somewhat presentable. I still had my gala clothes – I'd need to rush to my bunk room and dress for the trip.

Before leaving, I quietly stalked over to the bed and placed a kiss on Maia's forehead. I smoothed the loose strands away from her face and let my finger trace alongside her jaw, smiling lightly. Her lips were still pursed, her thick eyebrows still drawn down. I had to force myself away from her. Literally. The morning was calling, General Organa was waiting.

The mission wasn't going to start itself.

I raced back to my room after leaving Maia's and stopped to change. Discarding the gala clothes, I threw on a flimsy t-shirt, dark pants, my boots and leather jacket. I didn't focus much on my hair; who needed to bother with a shave? It wasn't like I was going anyplace special.

The General was waiting for me in the meeting quarters – along with C-3PO who accompanied her everywhere. BB-8 had managed to find me. He bleeped profusely, asking where I had gone the night prior. The droid was smart, and it puzzled me why he even bothered to ask. Upon arriving to meet the General, I locked gazes with her tiredly and presumed a more awake demeanor. No doubt she knew my late night rendezvous whereabouts as well.

"Commander," she addressed me calmly, her hands placed behind her back. "I presume you're ready for this mission?"

"Yes, General." I stood straight, my hands at my sides. "I believe I'm ready. BB-8 and I are prepared for whatever may await us and if we need to do what's necessary and right to protect the map, we will."

I noticed that she watched me intently, as if she wanted to make sure each word I said was true, honest and passionate. Because what was the point of sending a pilot who wasn't fervent to fight for a cause they loved and supported out into battle or on mission?

"Poe." My name passed through her lips and into the open air. She situated herself directly in front of me, arms crossed over her chest. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

The question was offensive at first. My instant instinct was to retaliate and defend myself. My shoulders tensed, my body buffed up. But soon enough I was relaxing; my muscles releasing the tension that had been built up. I swallowed a breath of air, closed my eyes to compose myself and then opened them to greet the General.

"It's the right thing to do, General. No matter what I want to do – I can't be selfish." I locked her in a gaze. "I'm going."

I saw a hint of a smile pass over her face; she nodded her head, glancing down at her feet. "You're a good man," she murmured. She looked up at me. "You remind me of your mother in many ways. She hated leaving you. You were too young at the time to realize it, but Luke and me . . ." She paused for slight effect, "we both knew how it killed her to leave you."

My mother used to be a touchy subject. Now, I was able to honor her instead of grieve.

"She'd be proud of you," General Organa complimented. She urged me to glance her way. "If she were here to watch and see all you've done, there's no doubt in my mind she would have been impressed."

"She was a woman of few words. She never discussed her job or herself with me," I whispered. I glanced at the helmet in my hands, smiling softly. "She did teach me to fly – that's what matters."

The General tilted her head to the side. "Really?" she questioned, "you'd be surprised to see she passed on far more than you've realized."

"What's that?"

She shrugged her shoulders, not saying much. "You'll learn soon enough. I'm sure of it." Then, clapping her hands she pushed herself off the edge of the table. "Now! We can't stand around here all day expecting the map to turn up on its own! That's why I'm depending on you!" Walking over, she clasped my shoulder. "You're my best pilot, Poe. Don't mess this up."

I chuckled lightly at her remark and soon enough BB-8 chimed in, voicing his own opinion. The General looked down at the orange and white droid; a sense of utter respect and the utmost trust splayed across her face.

"I never underestimate a droid," she said. She gazed at me. "Whatever happens – make sure that he's kept safe."

"Of course." The promise was made. "I wouldn't let anything happen to him. He's mine to protect."

"Whatever you do, Commander," we were back to ordered names, "the Resistance is depending on you. Do not fail us."

Despite being in the midst of royalty – and that royalty not wanting to be treated as one, I couldn't help myself. I bowed; bestowing my hand and dramatically waving it. "As you wish, you're Highness." I straightened back up again, a smirk on my lips. The General rolled her eyes, shooing me away. I backed up, heading towards the doors and out to the loading deck. There wasn't much time to waste.

"Don't make me regret this!" she called out.

I didn't need to reply. I was out of the room and passed the double doors, already jogging down the hallways. My heart pumped steadily, my feet pounded on the floor. BB-8 whirled beside me, keeping pace. The two of us were back at it. Nothing was going to get in our way.

Upon exiting onto the loading deck, I surveyed the sky. Murky grey clouds, humid air. There would be rain. Not many people had presented themselves this morning. It was still early – few were needed for work. And with the mission being kept under wraps, it was better to keep it this way. I paced down the loading deck, BB-8 at my side. I was passing a nearby freighter ship when a gust of wind pushed forth a voice from behind.

I halted in my steps, turning around, surprised to hear the voice.

"Whatever happened to saying goodbye?"

She was dressed in her Resistance clothes; her hair was tied up in a loose bun. With her arms crossed over her chest, she took a couple steps towards me, her brows rising. "You know, you really need to work on your manners."

"I didn't want to wake you up. You looked like you needed rest." I placed my helmet under my arm, propping it on my hip. "Besides, I wasn't going to leave just yet. Sooner or later I was going to come back to you. One last time."

"I bet." Maia winked, closing the distance between us. "So. Jakku then? Another desert planet." She gave me a confused look. "Aren't you getting a little sick of those?"

I shrugged my shoulders in response. "It doesn't matter. Sand doesn't bother me. The heat maybe – but I can get over it."

"Huh." She nodded her head, averting her eyes away from me. "You sound sure of yourself."

"That's 'cause I am."

Her eyes trained back on me, and I noticed they were glazed over. Dark circles ran under them, showing just how tired she really was. Her face was a little paler than normal, like she was sick or unwell.

Concerned, I reached out to take one of her cold hands into mine.

"Are you alright?" I asked, worried.

She shook her head. "Just a little fatigued that's all." She forced the words out, seeming nonchalant. "Nothing to worry about though." Maia reached out grasping ahold of my jacket, pulling herself closer to me. She giggled. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." I beamed at her, worry ceasing to exist. She would be fine. She was fine.

I didn't notice the slight change in her demeanor as silence fell over us. I knew she could tell I was watching her – studying her. That's why she had looked away, gazed down at the spot where BB-8 had been. He'd spun off to leave us be. I leaned forward kissing her head, inhaling her familiar scent. My eyes closed as I rested my cheek against her hair, humming lightly. But soon enough, I felt Maia begin to shake. She shivered in my arms, as if she were frozen. I tried not to fret or agonize over what could have been plaguing her. I was positive she was jittery about the mission. She knew about the dangers it could possess for me – for her and the Resistance. But it was a risk that was needed to be taken.

For the sake of the Galaxy.

"Poe," Maia's voice was quiet, almost worried as she held on to my leather jacket, pulling away from me and looking down. "Poe, I need to tell you something."

Whatever it was, something told me it could wait. I grinned politely, noting her nerves. I wanted her to relax. It's like we'd switched personalities.

"Tell me when I get back." I lifted her chin, kissing her nose and earning a hint of a smile from her lips; but it soon disappeared when she looked back up at me. Her eyes held tears that she refused to let fall. Her lips quivered.

"But what if you don-"

"I'll come back," I assured her, holding her face in my hands. "Hey now. You're supposed to be the strong one here." My thumbs smoothed away the tears that fell down her face. "You'll be okay without me – it'll be nice to have a break! You won't even know I'm gone."

"The whole base will know you're gone," Maia mumbled, "You're our bloody voice." Her brown eyes widened. "Poe, I need to tell you – before you go."

"Tell me what?" I smirked. "Don't worry. Tell me when I get home – that way I can look forward to you telling me every day before."

"You're stubborn."

I chuckled at her remark, brushing a hand through her hair. "Yeah, you taught me well."

A loud sound coming from the loading deck tore me away from leaning down to kiss Maia. I raised my head, looking out. The familiar black x-wing was waiting for me. Already the small circular droid that was BB-8 had moseyed his way over. A few mechanics were working on some last minute changes. Maia's hands gripped my jacket tighter. She stiffened in my arms.

"Is it safe?" she asked me. I broke my gaze from the x-wing to her. Maia's eyes were that of a doe. Wide, fearful and nervous. Her hands shook.

"Hey, don't worry." I barreled her in close to my arms, placing a kiss atop her head. "I know that thing better than all those mechanics. It can get me to where I'm going faster than that damn freighter we were on." I rubbed her back. "Besides," I said pulling her slightly away, "remember, I can fly anything."

"Don't get too cocky," she retorted.

"For you? Never." I kissed her forehead. "Do something for me, yeah?"

"If it's not dangerous, yes," Maia complied with a grin.

"Make sure the General doesn't worry. You wouldn't believe it – but that woman worries far more than you. You two help each other, alright?"

The request was simple. Maia agreed with little hesitation.

"Of course." She shrugged gently out of my arms. She awkwardly fumbled around. "I –uh, I found this . . . for you," she said quietly, almost mumbling. "It was left on the freighter. A mechanic had given it to me believing it to be mine." She pulled out of her pocket the faded and crumpled picture of herself. Eight year old Maia – smiling, hoping, dreaming. The first thing that ever connected me to her, the first glimpse of my future. I'd been unaware of it at the time.

I took the picture into my hands, smiling down at the little girl in the photo. When I looked back up, it was the same smile – the same eyes – the same girl but now a woman.

I placed the photo in my front leather pocket, nodding my head.

Maia rushed forward again, grasping my face before kissing me. Neither of us wanted to let go; we were urgent, trying to hold on to our last seconds together. She then pulled away, crushing herself into my chest. Her arms tightened their grip around me, her head rested on my shoulder. "Come back to me. Come back to us. Be brave. Be strong. And know I love you so much."

_______

Letting her go was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I knew she was trying to be strong. She was trying to be that young woman I first met on Tatooine; she was trying to be that girl who fought me on everything she believed I didn't know; she was trying to be the strong one – the one who stood tall and firm with a bright smile and charisma; she was all of those things.

But then again she was just Maia. She was human. No matter how strong or tough she seemed, she was also the most gentle. The most frail.

I made sure everything about the x-wing was in check and in order. Matt – the mechanic – had given me one last handshake, a smile and good luck before I boarded.

"If you think about it," he countered with a lopsided grin, "it's really you who's saving the Galaxy."

I laughed, throwing on my helmet and making sure BB-8 was in his compartment. "Pal, I'm just doing my job." I gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Do something for me while I'm gone, okay?"

"Anything," Matt promised, "what is it?"

"You see that young lady over there?" I pointed out towards Maia who was talking to a fellow Resistance pilot. A smile was plastered on her face and she talked lively with the other young woman. "Make sure she's happy. I know she looks it, but right now she's really bummed the most charming pilot in the Resistance is leaving before their set dinner date." I clapped his shoulder again. "If I'm not back in set time, take her for me, will ya?"

Matt nodded his head fervently. "O-of course," he stuttered. I could tell he was blushing. His face was bright red. He clenched his hands into fists. "You can count on me, sir."

"But don't go getting any ideas," I wagged my finger. "She's already taken by yours truly." I hopped up the ladder, climbing into the ship. With a smirk, I glanced his way once more. "Just do me that favor and if you follow the rules, you'll be guaranteed a spot for life as my mechanic – nobody else. Just you."

"You really mean that?" Matt looked at me in awe. "Commander Dameron, it would be my honor!"

"Don't go getting any ideas. Keep the lady happy; don't steal her heart – although I'm positive that's impossible cause it's already mine – and you've got yourself a job." I gave him a thumb's up. "You take care of yourself too. Don't let her fool ya – she's stubborn and won't take no for an answer. She's also pretty feisty so don't give up right away. If she's not saying yes to the dinner – bring the dinner to her."

Matt's face flushed once more. "Yes sir. You have my word."

The glass door closed, encompassing me in confined corners. I turned the engines on, the x-wing coming to life in a harmonious sound. Damn, it was good to be back in one of these. I checked to make sure BB-8 was once again prepared and revved the rest of the ship on. I turned it down the runway, watching as pilots and other workers rushed to the side. Wind was blowing furiously, rain had started to fall. I looked out once more to catch sight of Matt who had made his way over to Maia. His lanky build stood awkwardly next to her, but she welcomed his company. She was gazing up at me, her nose wrinkled; a hand placed itself above her brow to block out the bright light.

I winked at her, knowing she was the only one who could see.

Maia rolled her eyes, placed a hand on her chest and tapped it lightly above her heart. She bit her lip, trying to keep her smile on.

"Alright BB-8, let's get going."

The x-wing tore down the runway, taking off and flying into the air. We were soon immersed in the clouds and there was nothing left to see or look down at. Next thing we were leaving the atmosphere and the same familiar adrenaline rush careened through my veins. I wished I had some kind of speaker system in here. That was the one thing I missed about the freighter. You couldn't play any music in x-wings.

When I left the system, that's when the first pangs of loneliness hit me.

I didn't have anything to look back too as the x-wing pushed forward at lightning speed. I didn't have a hand to hold. I didn't have the reassurance I so suddenly desired.

I only had myself and the hope that I'd return home.

To Maia.

I thought of what she had wanted to tell me and wondered what it could be.

I felt a surge of excitement and determination.

The sooner I received the map, the sooner I'd find out.

I also made Maia a promise. It was one I wouldn't break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! Three more chapters! We're really harrowing it down - I don't think I'm ready guys! 
> 
> Remember to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:) Comment the heck out of it! I love reading your reactions and what you think and have to say!
> 
> All the love love love, xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	23. Maia

.: MAIA :.

 

He was gone.

I watched him leave. I watched him take off in that infamous black x-wing of his and then I watched him disappear.

A tall lanky young mechanic had come to stand by my side. His sandy blonde hair and blue eyes met me in a shy gaze. He gently reached out, touching my elbow, leading me away as the rest of the pilots, mechanics and workers returned to their previous duties.

Now we'd have to wait.

"Come this way Miss," the boy said politely, "off to the medical bay."

"I've got it from here . . ." I hesitated searching for his name, then came to the conclusion I didn't know it.

"Matt. I'm Matt," he said. He looked to be no younger than nineteen. I wondered what his story was. Where he came from. Where was his family?

"Thank you," I smiled. "I know the way there."

"O-of course," he stuttered. Matt stepped to the side, giving room for me to leave. "If you need anything, I'll be here."

Something told me Poe had instructed the boy to look after my wellbeing. Figures. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I stalked towards him, placing a delicate hand on his cheek. His face flushed a bright red.

"You're very kind. Poe is lucky to have you as a friend."

I sensed warmth and joy from him. The Resistance didn't know it, but they had a very special mechanic in their hands.

"You changed him miss," Matt replied, catching me off guard. "Before, he was just like any other pilot or commander. He's become someone different. A better man now. Because of you." A glint of light caught in his blue eyes. "It should be us thanking you."

I only smiled more, remaining humble. "C'mon, then," I relented, beckoning him to follow. "We've got work to do. Mustn't blubber or procrastinate. The day is only wasting away."

"As you wish Miss Maia," Matt replied. He joined my side as we walked alongside the loading deck and back towards the buildings of the Base. There was work to be done – work to keep us busy. God knows it was the only thing that would be keeping me from worrying constantly.

But Poe would be back.

Eventually.

Upon walking into the medical bay I was greeted by a mechanic who'd slit his entire wrist. Dried blood was caked on the rubbish bandage and filth-ridden skin. I ushered Matt to retrieve some alcohol and healing ointments as I led the mechanic to a nearby cot. Arriving back with the supplies, Matt looked on in awe and wonder as I masterfully cleaned, stitched and bandaged the wound.

"Wow, you really have some gifted hands, Miss." His eyes were wide, shocked and impressed.

I told the patient to sit and rest for a while in the ward before taking the dirty cloth and supplies to a nearby sink. Matt followed me like a puppy, completely enamored with the work.

"Does it make you want to transfer into medics?" I asked him with a sly grin. I turned the sink on, cold water rushing into the faucet. I began to scrub the blood and dirt off as Matt shook his head violently and I laughed.

"Certainly not! I got queasy just watching!" He placed a hand on his chest, a little winded. "I belong in mechanics Miss."

"Well then, if you do, will you do something for me?" I dried off the supplies, placing them in a bucket. Then turning to Matt, I pushed the bucket in his arms and pointed off to the large closet at the end of the ward. "Put these back in the closet and grab your wrench and tools. I've got some things I need you to fix."

Matt nodded his head before scurrying away. "As you wish." I could barely catch the hint of red on his cheeks. Placing my hands on my hips, I smiled to myself.

Maybe a little help wasn't so bad after all.

So I went back to working. It really was the only thing I could think of that would keep me busy and my mind off of Poe. The days stretched out to be long. No word or news of Poe had been sent in. As the days turned into weeks with no word, worry began to take root and grow. I could sense it all around now. Everyone was fragile and anticipating news of what had happened. Upon hearing nothing, I could also tell the General was growing anxious. This was our last hope.

I was the only one in the medical bay, putting clean sheets and blankets on the cots. Not many had come through lately, needing medical attention and it was nice to know that folks were for once being safe and not maiming themselves. We could use all we had when it came to going to war against the First Order. From what we had all heard on Base so far – the First Order was also looking for the map that led to Skywalker. That put Poe at an even higher risk of being caught. The news wasn't in the slightest good – but I still held on to the hope that willed me out of bed each morning.

It was Matt who came to fetch me. These days, it was common for us to run in to each other. He was of good help and assistance and whenever he seemed finished with his duties he would come and work in the ward. I set him to repairing shelves, broken cots or other duties that were too intense for my body. He worked long and hard and almost all of the things he fixed seemed better than prior to them breaking. Matt was also charming – sincere and kind. On the bad days it was him who kept me going; he was really the only true friend I had made on Base other than Leia.

"Oh!" I was surprised to see him today of all days because the mechanics had been working on plenty of more ships and x-wings. Word was there was going to be a need for them soon. I hadn't expected Matt's appearance at all. I smiled, finishing with tucking the blankets under the cot's mattress and stood straight up. "Matt! It's so lovely to see you! I wasn't expecting you today!" I clasped my hands together, walking around the bed out into the aisle. "I have a couple cabinets that need fixing and repairing and I was wondering if you could help me take some boxes of supplies to the closet down the hall – they're too heavy for me to lift all on my own."

"Miss Maia – " Matt seemed out of breath. He heaved and I soon found myself worried.

"Here, sit." I pulled out a chair for him to which he fell into. "I'll grab you some water."

Matt lifted his hands to refuse but I returned swiftly with a glass, handing it to him. He gulped it down in seconds. I gave him a few moments to catch his breath before asking him anything.

"What's happened?"

"N-news . . ." he gasped the words out. "We've got news."

He didn't need to say anything else. I pushed passed him, heading towards the medical bay's doors. I could hear Matt behind me. The loud clanging of the chair falling reverberated off the walls of the room – continuously ringing. The clapping of his feet on the floor grew louder as he caught up with me.

"Miss! Miss Maia! Wait!"

There was simply no time to wait. The news I'd been yearning to hear about for what seemed like ages was finally in reach. I opened the double doors, storming out into the hallway. Instantly the smell of bleach and peroxide were gone and replaced with a more fresh scent. My stomach relaxed from the putrid smells.

"Maia!" Matt caught up with me eventually – now very out of breath. "If you will please stop for a moment, I'll tell you everything! I'll take you to Leia herself! She's already told the Base the news and she strictly informed me to take you to her – she wants to tell you more than what everyone knows."

I looked at Matt for a long minute. His face was darkened with grease and oil; sweat sheened across his forehead. His hands were almost completely dosed in the black liquid as well, along with his uniform. His sandy hair which normally was brighter than a patch of sun looked duller. Matt looked tired, worn down.

"Matt, what's going on? Is it about Poe?" My voice grew quiet, low. Everything seemed to slow down. I wanted no hesitation – I wanted quick and rapid answers.

There was no need for him to answer; for I knew right away what it was about. Matt hung his head in defeat and I spun around, taking off at a quick run down the hallway towards Leia's main meeting room. My breaths were coming in quick and sharp gasps; my brain was struggling to come up with what could have possibly happened. What was going on? Why did the rest of the Base know everything but I didn't? Where was Poe? What was taking him so long? Was he alright? Were we in danger? Did the First Order retrieve the map?

I pushed through the meeting room doors only to see that I wasn't alone with Leia. Several other commanders and pilots were surrounding her in the room. As I looked around, a severe pounding in my head overtook me, my legs grew shaky. I straightened the best I could. I heard Matt come in behind me – his breathing rapid as well. He coughed out, hands going to his knees as he hunched over. Leia watched us both intently; her eyes going back and forth between the both of us. Matt looked up at her from his position with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry, General," he heaved, "I tried stopping her, but she rushed off."

Leia nodded her head, he face sober. She walked a couple steps closer to us, but I stepped forward, eyes drawn in and face glaring. The others watched us with great intensity. The room fell deathly quiet.

"What's happened?" My jaw clenched. For once the General was making me agitated. How she couldn't tell me a word but everyone else put me in a position I didn't want to be in.

I felt betrayed.

"Maia – there's been word sent . . ."

"I know there's been word sent! Bloody hell that's what the poor bloke told me!" I pointed back at Matt who was still regaining his strength. "I was alone working in the ward all morning by myself – no one else bothered to come notify me! What the bloody hell is going on?" I cried, "I want to know!"

Silence again. My eyes averted – glancing around the perimeter of the room. My heart pounded prolifically. Adrenaline ran through my veins. My nerves escalated.

Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

"Maia," Leia's voice broke the silence and she reached forward to take my hand gently into hers. "Maia, I need you to do something for me. More importantly for yourself and what's to come."

I gulped, fear crippling my body. She squeezed my hand in reassurance. Everyone else in the room looked on. Somber and grief was etched on their faces.

There wasn't one ounce of happiness. I could feel the mourning – I could feel it enter into my body. I could feel it begin to flow in my veins and swallow the hope that I'd somehow fed and cared for. Now it was gone. Every last bit of it had been eaten whole by a darkness so bleak I couldn't see any way out.

"Maia?" Leia squeezed my hand again. My eyes turned back to her and I nodded my head, feigning strength that was too hard for me to handle on my own.

"Poe's MIA."

Nothing.

Don't feel anything.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to remain calm. "MIA how?"

"We last found that his ship was on Jakku – word was sent the First Order had arrived just as he was managing to leave with the map. We lost track of the x-wing when it was sabotaged by Stormtroopers . . . There's also no word of the droid." I could tell this was hard for Leia to say out loud – to say it again even. But I knew the hardest thing for her to do out of all of it was looking me in the eye and tell me the news.

"Maia," Leia whispered, "you have to be strong." Her grip on my arm tightened. "You're going to be going through abrupt changes very soon. You have to be brave and be strong. There's nothing you could have done. . . Poe could still be out there but we don't know. He could still come back, but without any word or news we have to believe the worst has happened so we can plan for defense."

My lips quivered and my eyes stung. My body began to violently shake. "B-but what if I do-d-don't w-want t-to be-b-believe t-that . . ."

"You have to," Leia hissed, her eyes pleading, "We all have to."

My knees wobbled, I was losing the ability to breathe. I let my hand slip out of Leia's and began sinking to the ground. Matt and another pilot rushed forward trying to keep me standing but I wouldn't let them. I fell to the floor, letting the tears rush out of my eyes and the heaving sobs echo and sound throughout the room. I don't think anyone at that point knew what to do. There was nothing to be said. There was nothing that would change the events that occurred.

"No." I repeated the word over and over again. "No, no, no, no, no." My hands were held up on either side of me; Matt was trying to lift me into his arms. I could smell his sweat, the oil. Oil reminded me of Poe – when he had come back into the bar at Maz's Castle he'd just finished repairing the freighter's engine. My eyes shut tight and all of a sudden it felt like I was with him – with Poe – dancing in his arms, swaying to the rhythm of the music and song. I grasped onto the fabric of Matt's shirt, trying to picture him as Poe. I wanted to feel the gruff stubble on Poe's jaw, not a clean shaven face; I wanted to inhale that familiar scent of oil, pine and fresh laundry; I wanted to see those brown eyes and the crinkles in their corners when he smiled at me or anything that brought it forth; I wanted to hear his voice.

I wanted him.

"Someone get her to her room. She needs time to calm down and process everything that's happened." Leia's voice could be heard over my yelling and screaming. I tried to fight the multiple arms and voices that attempted to succumb me and bring me down. I bit, I punched, I kicked. 

"General Organa." It was Matt's voice. "I promised Commander Dameron tha-"

"The Commander is not giving any orders now. Whatever he told you, you must drop it."

"NO!" I screamed, yelping and scrambling out of the arms. "NO! HE'S NOT GONE! HE'S NOT DEAD! HE'S STILL HERE!" I crawled away, trying to get far from everyone, but soon enough I was being picked up, carried like a baby out of the room.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! YOU CAN'T FORGET POE! HE'S STILL ALIVE! I FEEL HIM! I FEEL HIS HEART; HIS BREATH; HIS VOICE!" My throat was scratchy from all the protests and yelling but my body was growing ever so weak. Leia looked on at me with tears in her eyes as one of the pilot's carried me away. Matt had begun to cry, his face blotchy and red as he stood by C-3PO and Leia.

"PLEASE!" I cried one last time, "PLEASE BELIEVE IN HIM!"

As the doors swung shut behind me and everyone disappeared, I continued to scream. I continued to let my heart break into a million pieces. I kicked and pulled and fought out of the pilot's arms but they pulled me back in. It was crazy – I never thought I could be this wild; this insane. But the doubt in the room – the grieving for a man that was more than alive tried my patience and pushed me to the brink. How could they give up on the one man that risked his life for them every day? How could they not believe in the man who went away on dangerous missions and always came back?

As the pilot locked the door to my room, I let havoc wreak. I pounded on the cold metal door. I screamed with every fiber in me until the last of my voice left and all that was there was a croak. I slid to the ground, hands still pressed to the door. My body hunched over as my shoulders shook and I retched. Nothing came out. Only tears from my eyes.

"No, no, no," I wept. Everything within me fell apart. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and waist as I slid away from the door and onto the ground. "No, no, no, no. You can't be gone. You can't be."

Time seemed to pass in slow intervals and minutes. I didn't move once from the ground, even to heave out what seemed to be all my guts and insides. I reeked. I felt dirty and grimy. I felt like I was back to square one – on Tatooine – and that all that had happened was some sick dream or hallucination. I felt like I had never left that wretched place and was still lying on that dusty cloth of a bed, staring up at an endless sky . . . hoping one day I would be saved.

I didn't want to give up in him. God, that was the last thing I wanted to ever do. But as the night wore on, and the moon shined through the window, and I stayed still, all I could do was grieve and let everything happy and once perfect in my life go.

Without hope and life there was nothing to live for, nothing to go on seeing.

I know Poe wouldn't want me thinking that way.

I couldn't afford to think that way now.

Not with what was going to be coming.

But without Poe, would I ever want what was coming to arrive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm emotional:3 That chapter was one of the hardest things I've had to write.
> 
> Two more chapters people! Can you believe it!?
> 
> Please remember to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:)
> 
> All the love, xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	24. Maia

.: MAIA :. 

 

I remained in my room for who knows how long. It was Matt who came and got me out. I don't think he was even supposed to. He probably stole the keys from whoever had locked me in my room, and raced over. I had been out of it, since calming from my breakdown. Matt found me lying on the floor right next to my own vomit. The stench must have been horrendous but I didn't read any emotions whatsoever on his face when he opened the door. Instead, he lifted me up, ran a bath of hot water, grabbed clean clothes and helped me wash. No words were spoken, not even when he noticed my scars and other significant changes that would continually change with each passing day, week and month. I was perplexed. Bewildered.

Now he was in on my secret.

"Why're you helping me?" I asked quietly. The water was luke-warm as Matt took a sponge and gently passed it over for me to use. He plopped onto the floor beside the tub as I sunk lower into the watery depths – sloshing soapy and murky water around.

"Because," Matt shrugged his shoulders as he answered, "you need a friend . . . I need a friend." I raised a brow, noting how friends of the opposite sex don't necessarily see each other in these kind of situations. He took the que and chuckled quietly, bowing his head. "You're okay. I'm not gonna do anything. I have four sisters – I'm used to doing this."

"Four sisters?"

"Yep. I'm the oldest. My Mom didn't have much help around the house with four little girls and me after Dad died so I chipped in and helped with raising them." I noticed Matt's face sadden at the thought of his family and I wondered what must have become of them. He grabbed a towel from a nearby rack and held on to it – waiting for me to finishing washing so I could use it to dry off. "Unfortunately she wasn't able to support us fully so I was the one volunteered to leave and work with the Resistance. I don't see or hear from them much, but I do know they get the money I earn working here . . ." He glanced my way once more and with a soft grin said, "I guess you can say that I know what it feels like to be alone. I haven't been here long but already there's just this giant void of loneliness and it's pretty hard to ignore it." Once again he was putting the brave face on – friendly, strong and empathetic. "Maia, you're going to be alright. I know it."

"You're so friendly to me," I commented, "why?"

Our eyes met and I could tell he was contemplating on telling me. I figured the answer out already though. I just wanted him to say it out loud to confirm.

"Before he left – Poe I mean – he made me promise that I'd look after you. No matter what happens." Matt's shoulders sagged slightly. "He also made me promise to take you to dinner – but this might triumph that."

We both giggled, and for a brief moment there was a relief of pain. The two of us returned to a brief silence before he decided to continue.

"And it's not just because Poe told me to," Matt went on, "but it's also because I want to. As far as I know, you're the closest friend I've got here. You've helped me and given me a place to call home. Because before I felt like I didn't belong. With your kindness, I've found I can actually do something with the opportunities I've been given. I owe you." He nodded his head towards me, a secretive smile tracing the edges of his lips.

As I laid in the tub, my mind for once began to relax and I was finally able to take a deep breath and exhale. My eyes closed, my muscles loosened. I opened my eyes again and saw Matt glancing out the small window at the moving grey clouds outside; the billowing trees and an occasional x-wing fly by on a practice run and take off.

I reached my hand out of the tub, taking Matt's hand into mine and squeezed it. He turned from the window to me, smiling softly as I copied him back.

"Thank you," I said. I didn't think there was anything else I could say, because he already knew it too.

Matt nodded his head, not letting go of my hand.

And we sat there together in kinship; two companions. With the same hope that had seemed to become extinct from the people around us.

We still held on.

_______

These days it was more common to receive looks of pity and hushed whispers of condolences. I wasn't all too fond of them – they just made me angry. How everyone could still remain so doubtful baffled me. These people had all once worshipped Poe; they praised his works for the Resistance and talked highly of him. Everyone wanted to be on his squad or his friend.

Now they walked around the damn Base like he never existed.

I returned to my working in the medical ward. Matt came in after his hours to come fix more cabinets, cots or whatever I could find for him and help clean. We kept each other company just by being near one another. There was no need to speak or say a word. Just the presence of another was enough. Sometimes we stayed past working hours and deep into the night. We'd find some scraps of food left over for dinner and leisurely toil around until one of us grew too tired and decided to head off to bed. During the day, it was uncommon for us to see one another. He'd pass by occasionally if a mechanic needed bandaging or stitching or if he needed extra supplies from the closet. Either way, it was nice to see a friendly face midst the others and to have someone to depend on for support.

There was a meeting later on in the day. Leia had called all units in. Word had it that there was a pending message being sent in from Jakku – no one had an idea of what it could possibly mean, but I figured any news at this point could go either good or bad. There had been no news about BB-8 either. His whereabouts were also important, and without any locations or tracking of the droid, we stood on fragile ground. No word from the New Republic too. We were entirely on our own.

"What's the news about," I questioned, after coming through the doors and sliding behind a group of pilots. Matt had waved me over, stepping to the side in the back corner from where we stood. Neither of us had intentions of going to the front as Leia began to speak. It would be easier to get out and less risky to be stopped by anyone – especially the General herself.

Matt shrugged his shoulders. "No idea. Something about a message from Jakku maybe – they might have spotted the droid there. Still no Poe."

At this, my heart leapt and sunk. Good news, because BB-8 could possibly still be out there – and maybe even gathering help. The bad news – still no sign or word from Poe.

A sudden rush of nausea caught me in its grasp. Matt reached out to hold my hand in comfort. The feeling passed, but I still felt sick to my stomach.

"All we know is that droid is still out there." Leia's voice rose loud and clear in the room. I could see the growing excitement on the faces of others. Pilots began slapping each other's backs and hands as Leia went on.

"An ally of the Resistance has reached us with the news after the droid was spotted in town. But we've also been warned of the First Order. A tie-fighter was seen crashing on the outskirts and word has it, the First Order is sending in squads to search the wreckage and nearest town for the droid. It's too risky to send any of our own men out now, but when we receive more news on the subject our next plan may be to take action."

Leia circled the center of the room, her hands placed in front of her. Eyes looking, she barely missed Matt and I in the back. I tried to avert my eyes away but it was too late.

She saw us.

She saw me.

"I want you all to be prepared for what's to come. The First Order is merciless and will stop at nothing to get the map." The not-so-secret mission was now out in the open. I figured it wasn't going to be long until everyone found out the real reason behind Poe's disappearance. "So in the matter of speaking, if we are at the risk of an attack here on D'qar or if our allies on Takodana are in danger, we will take matters into our own hands and go after the map ourselves." She stopped in the center of the room, he face somber and regal, leading a long silence as everyone took the information in.

"That is all." She broke her silence and clapped her hands. "Everyone is dismissed."

I felt Matt moving and looked to see him gathering his mechanical tool box. He noticed my staring and I could tell by the simple look he gave, he still wasn't losing any hope. It urged me to continue on as well.

"I must be off," he sighed, "I'll try to make it to the ward tonight but it may take longer if the General wants everything prepared and ready in case of an attack."

I nodded my head, pressing my lips together in a smile. "Yes. Of course. Don't rush yourself – I've got everything handled in the ward today. I'll see you in the morning."

Matt smiled softly and leaned over to press a simple kiss on my forehead. "Look out for yourself, alright?"

"Of course."

He waved shyly before walking out of the room along with everyone else.

I was on my way out when Leia stopped me.

"Maia?"

I turned on my heels, heeding to her voice. "Yes?"

She waved a hand over, and I went against the tide of others and walked to her.

When I reached her, I felt the same motherly affection that I met when I got off the freighter with Poe and first arrived to Base. All this time, I knew the General looked out for all of us and with the best intentions. But even now when she tried her best to comfort, it didn't seem to help or fill the large hole that caused my grief and sadness.

"How're you feeling?" Leia asked, taking my hand. Her thumb smoothed over the cold skin; a smile forced its way on to her cheeks.

I could only nod my head – I didn't feel like speaking.

"Doctor Kalonia wants me to inform you that you've been granted the rest of the day off." Her voice was calm, tranquil. "She believes some well-rested time off will take some of the stress and worry off of you."

"But I want to work. I insist." This troubled me. Working was my only way to deal with the mourning. It was my only way of forgetting it all.

"But she insists you rest for your well-being," Leia interjected. She squeezed my hand. "Just do as she says – go rest. Get some sleep. You need it."

"I don't feel like I need it," I replied angrily. "I don't understand how all of you can go on with your lives when one of our very own is out there and possibly in dire need of help!" I shook my head, displeased. There wouldn't be any way of getting out of this. Doctor Kalonia herself would forbid me to work. And God knows they didn't want to risk another breakdown so I'd be escorted to my room as well.

"Fine. I'll go rest if you so wish for me to." Anger seeped through the words.

"Maia, please ju-"

I didn't let her finish. My hand slid out of Leia's and I stalked out of the room, pushing through the double doors and out into the cold, empty hallway. My feet padded lightly on the floor. I rounded each of the corners with my head hung low in case I was to run into anyone and didn't want to speak. By now, even uttering a word to anyone other than Matt took a lot of strength to will out. Anger, anguish, misery and disappointment swept through my veins. Everyone around me now was against my beliefs – against what we all so desperately needed. Without hope and patience and good-will we were heading straight into the belly of the First Order to our end.

My room wasn't much farther and upon rounding the corner to my room I finally lifted my head up. No one else was around; I could finally let it all out. I was sick of hiding and suppressing the emotions that wallowed within me.

I was about to scream. I was about to cry. I was about to pound the walls.

I was about to wreak chaos when I found that the door to my room had been broken in to.

I froze in place, eyes widening. Something instantly felt wrong. My heart pace quickened and felt like it was suddenly lodged in my throat and about to come out. I looked down both ends of the hallway to see if anyone else had come back to their own room or quarters. None of my neighbors had. I checked to see all their doors seemed to be locked and fine. My breathing hitched as I cautiously walked towards the looming door frame to try and peak into the darkness behind it. I couldn't hear, or see anything beyond it.

I felt as if I could hear my blood pumping as I wrapped my hand around the doorknob and pushed it open. The creak was quiet and the door swung to the side to reveal a darkened and gloomy room. My bed was still as it was, unmade and messy; the room still held a faded stench of vomit from when I had my breakdown. I had done little to clean up since there was no one to keep the room clean for other than myself. The shades had been drawn in to keep light from the outside coming in. Clothes lay in heaps and piles. But what drew my attention were the muddied footprints that were clearly not mine that had stained the light carpet just dark enough for me to pinpoint out.

I searched with my eyes as far as I could see into the room. The footprints disappeared quickly and I was once again left with a deep pit of despair.

The question was – did I go now to get help? Or did I stand my ground and figure out what it was my intruder wanted if they were still here?

I chose the ladder.

I walked into the room stealthily. Each step I took, I tried to make quieter. I made sure all my five senses were heightened in case the intruder would come from behind. I'd have to be quick in defending myself. No matter what, I'd fight with everything in me – and my scream was bloody loud enough for most people in the bunks around me to hear. Help would be easy to recruit if I needed it.

With each step I took, I felt myself growing more anxious. Whatever or whoever it was, had refused to show themselves. My jaw clenched and my hands fisted as I spun around, trying to get a glimpse from every angle. I opened my mouth, finding whatever courage I could scavenge and spoke into the darkness.

"Whoever you are, I want you to show yourself . . . I won't hurt you, if you won't hurt me." My voice trembled and I felt my bottom lip quiver. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to collect more bravery but I felt it all running low. Sooner or later, one of us was going to have to make the first move in defense.

My hand glided alongside the bureau and I let my eyes adjust more around me. Shapes and figures were still fairly bleak and blurred. I began to grow more nervous. My heart was pounding and beating and pumping excessively. Fear flowed through my veins.

I swiveled around quickly when I heard a slight movement in front of me.

"Hey sweetheart," A voice from the darkness croaked. I flinched in place – frozen and shocked.

This was some sick hallucination or joke. Someone was purposely teasing me to get me to crack.

"I'm home." The voice again. There was shifting and soon enough I felt and heard the bed creak as the dark figure stood up. There was muffled moaning, and I watched the shadow touch his ribs from inside his jacket.

"Damnit, you might have to check these out." Another groan, "I think they're cracked or bruised."

I gasped, tears filling my eyes as the figure stepped into the light a bit more. I could already make out the leather jacket and tanned skin. Placing a hand over my mouth, I stepped closer and rounded the bed only to find a bloodied and bruised Poe. His face was caked with dried blood and purple splotches. A cut was on his cracked lipped smirk and the familiar scent of oil grease and pine swept across the room. I stood a few feet back taking in the whole spectacle – afraid I was only fooling myself or seeing a ghost.

Poe tore his hand away from inside his jacket and limped a couple steps closer. "What? Are you just gonna stand there? Not come over?" Sarcasm oozed out of his voice. "Been gone for weeks – I thought you would have already moved o-"

"Take off your jacket."

"Well this escalated quickly," Poe grinned. He removed his jacket, along with his shirt slowly. He threw them to the ground jutting his chin out. "I'm all yours sweetheart."

He didn't fall to the bed straight away, and I didn't go to inspect his injuries instantly. In fact we just stood and stared at each other in silence and didn't blink. The clock ticked faintly and you could barely hear the sounds from outside the window. Poe's eyes grew tired; I could tell every part of his body begged to fall onto the bed but he remained standing – for me. His chest heaved, sweat sheening across it. I looked him over. He was right, his ribs were bruised – skin flecked with purple blots and the long jagged scar from his mission to Tatooine still shined with bright pink skin.

I wanted to reach out – I wanted to make sure he was really here. That he was real and not some silly and messed up imagination of mine.

I think he got the idea. Poe took a couple steps closer, reaching out for my hand. "It's me," he said quietly, "I'm back. I'm here."

He placed my hand on his chest – squarely over his beating heart.

Tears welled up in my eyes and spilt out as he smiled faintly and brought me into his arms. I heard him wince and hiss at the slight pain but it didn't seem to matter. Somehow I was the cure to all of his torment. And he was the cure to mine.

His hands swept through my hair, his head burrowed itself in my neck. I held him tightly, knowing I wasn't ever going to let go.

"I'm here," Poe continued to say again and again. "I'm here, I'm here, I'm here." His hands surveyed my body, almost as if he was trying to convince himself and prove he was actually back. Whatever he had been through, whatever had happened – it was a marvel he was home.

I shied away from him just to catch one more glimpse. A smile – bigger than I'd ever imagined – tore across my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close to press my lips to his. His mouth opened, hungry. I pressed myself to him, hands running through his hair – the scent of sweat, blood, oil, pine and leather all blended together to confirm the one thing everyone had been trying to prove me wrong on.

He was back. He was home.

Poe.

My Poe.

You're my miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got one more chapter - and SURPRISE! - an epilogue to conclude this story. I can't believe how fast this has all happened.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter:) Make sure to COMMENT, VOTE, FOLLOW AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:) 
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)


	25. Poe

.: POE :. 

 

I used to believe everything was simple.

Of course until everything changed the moment I volunteered on that damn mission to Tatooine.

You know, if you really think about it, it almost damn near killed me.

If it wasn't for Maia, I don't think I would have made it out anywhere.

What I had come to realize in all that had happened previously was that I was wrong in almost every aspect of who I thought I had to be. There was no longer a point in holding up a front and trying to be stronger and tougher than what your interior was. I learned it was okay to feel and to let my emotions take a hold of me instead of staying put and not letting myself learn – I think it's something we all have to understand and comprehend. Without it, you can't move forward and you certainly can't go back and change time. Staying put doesn't help either. To experience life to the fullest, to love without boundaries and to become new all takes one simple step off the edge.

From there you take flight.

When I was captured by the First Order on Jakku, I didn't think it was going to end well. In all honesty. With BB-8 out in the middle of who knows where with the map and me on board of a ship with Captain Grandpa Imitator interrogating me I not only found myself in a rut, but I also found that without any help, I was in no way escaping and imminent death was looming.

In the interrogation room, I think I caught a first glimpse of what death was going to be like.

"I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board." The deep, muffled voice spoke, waking me from my slumber. I'd been interrogated ruthlessly prior and had been left with a pounding headache, bloodied face and most likely a broken nose.

My eyes were blurred as I glanced around the dark room. The hooded figure stepped away from the shadows into the light, standing straight. My vision swam as I tried to keep a tight lock on him.

Silence ticked by as the staring contest continued.

"Comfortable?" He asked, taking another step forward.

"Not really," I replied with a monotone voice. I was tied down and constrained to an uncomfortable chair. My wrist and hands were locked in so there was no way of escaping. Though keeping my death like stare on him, I took note of the room around us: Dark; metal flooring and ceiling; dim-lighting. It was incredibly confined.

I didn't want to call him by his new name. Frankly, I didn't want to give him any name. In all that he'd done, he didn't deserve the name he'd been born with.

"I'm impressed," he commented, walking up to the chair I was in, "no one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map."

A cold air swept through the room. I felt a chill run down my spine. Already, I could feel the darkness. My mind went to Maia. I clenched my hands into fists, trying to remain calm.

"You might want to re-think your technique." My voice was strained and the snappy remark sounded weary rather than the angry tone I'd meant for it to have.

It didn't take long.

He lifted a hand, and all of a sudden a light purring sound reverberated in the room. I gulped, suddenly feeling a loss of oxygen and pain – more terrifying than ever – rack my head. I thought my ears were bleeding.

Suddenly I was thrown back into the tight restraints of the chair and gasped. My breath was taken from me – I struggled to breathe. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again, choking. Maia. She found her way into my head again and I opened my mouth, trying to speak but nothing came out.

"Where is it?" His deep voice again – it hung in the air and swam around, lingering. I could sense him purging and filling my mind. I could feel him sifting through each memory and recollection. Trying to fight him, I broke free of my silence and uttered out the only words I could posses

"The Resistance will not be intimidated by you."

My head was lifting off against the cushion of the chair and coming nearer to his hand which seemed to control everything going on around us.

I wanted to scream. I wanted it to end. The pain was overwhelming.

"Where. Is. It?" It was like he was speaking through clenched teeth. He went further into my mind. And I heard a deep, sickly chuckle come from the mask.

"She's gone. She won't ever come back."

Maia.

He was talking about Maia.

I shook my head furiously. "N-no." The word was hard to say as I tried to fight him. "G-get ou-out o-o-of my h-head." I gasped, trying to breathe but not being able to.

"You'll never see her again. Unless you tell me where the map is." More pain. More agony. I writhed in the seat, fighting, trying, willing myself.

"You'll n-ne-never f-find h-he-her." My teeth chattered, my voice shook. Tears stung my eyes.

Protect her. Whatever you say or do Poe, protect her.

I couldn't really make out what happened next but all I know was that I shouted out loudly before releasing all the information about BB-8 that I could; where he was; what he had. I was flung back into the seat after and before I knew it was blacked out.

By the time I'd awoken a Stormtrooper had come in to guard and stand watch. I was still where I was – strapped to the chair. My head ached. It throbbed. My body felt stiff – too pained to move even in the tight restraints I was in. I couldn't see out the door but all I could hear was the door opening. Footsteps. Then a monotone voice just like all the others in the white suits of armor.

"Ren wants the prisoner."

Nothing else. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. For one of the rare times in my life, I was scared to face my future – what most likely was going to be my death. I gulped, trying to pull myself out of the ties. My shoulders burned, cramping and contracting their muscles as the Stormtrooper came over and released the binds, standing me up.

"Shall I come with you?" The one who had been keeping guard followed the one holding me out the door, wary to leave us alone.

"No," the voice replied stoically. "Return to Phasma's regiment."

The Stormtrooper led me out of the room, down a hallway. Others on board the ship passed us without notice. It wasn't until we were further down that he yanked me out of the hall and into a cramped corridor. I hissed, pressing myself against the wall as the trooper started speaking quickly – incoherently – behind the mask.

"If you do just as I say, I'll help you get out of here."

"W-what?" I was perplexed. Confused.

The trooper took off the mask, instantly revealing a young man of Maia's age. Dark chocolate skin and eyes, accompanied by a surprisingly friendly face. It was hard to believe that an actual person lived and breathed behind that suit.

"This is a rescue mission," he panted, "I'm helping you escape. Now, you have to do just as I say!"

"Why're you helping me?" I asked, bewildered.

The young man stared me in the face, his eyes desperate and his voice anguished. Something told me he would do anything to get out of here – away from such death and horrifying realities.

"Because it's the right thing to do," he answered me.

I liked this guy already.

"You need a pilot."

"I need a pilot." Realization hit his face as I smiled with glee, nodding my head as I finally came to conclusions about what we were going to do.

"We're going to do this," I told him. "You and me. We're getting out of here."

And it didn't take us long to board the tie-fighter. But soon enough we were being ambushed by Stormtroopers and flying for our lives. It wasn't until we were nearing the atmosphere to Jakku that the Stormtrooper who I'd called Finn freaked out.

"Woah! What are you doing?"

"We're going back to Jakku," I said, spinning around the shots that had been fired our way. Everything within me longed to go home. Everything within me wanted to just go back to D'qar and get out of the system but the risk of leaving BB-8 alone on the planet was one I couldn't ignore. If we headed back to D'qar, the First Order would have the map that led to Luke and the whole Galaxy would be at the stake because of me.

"What!" Finn exclaimed, "why do we gotta go back there!?"

"I need to get my droid. He's a BB-unit white and orange. One of a kind."

"No! We're not going back for some stupid droid!"

"Well this droid isn't stupid! It's one of the smartest I know!" Another shot was fired, shaking the tie-fighter as we barely made it past another.

"We need to get out of the system!" Finn shouted, "the First Order is ruthless! They're gonna shoot us down! We won't make it!"

"Like hell we're gonna make it! And with the droid!" I zoomed farther down into the atmosphere trying to work the coordinates on the ship.

"What so special about this droid?" Finn asked. I watched him take out one of the following tie-fighters. I could tell he was nervous. More nervous than anything. "Can't you just get a new one?"

"This droid has a map that could lead us to Luke Skywalker!" I yelled, growing angry. The more time we wasted, the more time we put ourselves into trouble and BB-8.

"Oh! You gotta be kidding me!"

"I wish I was! But I'm not! We gotta be quick! If the First Order gets their hands on the droid the Resistance has no-"

I was too late to finish. The next thing I knew was that I was being flung out of the ship into the Jakku atmosphere and Finn was still strapped inside. By the time I crash-landed, I was concussed, sore from my injuries and in dire need of help. So I squandered the land where I was until I eventually came into a small market and scavenging town – similar to the one where I met Lor San Tekka for the map. There, I found access to the Resistance and was able to hitch a ride back to D'qar and Base.

How I ended up alive was a miracle.

I clutched Maia to my chest. Everything that had happened from the moment I stepped on the freighter to search for her all the way till now, needed to happen so I could finally reach this moment. This precise moment with her. Yes, there had been many things I regretted. There was still a great deal of guilt that weighed on my shoulders; but I understood that I was far from perfect. I was far from reaching what I had so long sought and fought for. Maybe there were better things for me – things I had first expected to not help or aide me along this journey. But ultimately whatever led me on the rest of this excursion, I trusted it wholeheartedly and awaited for what was to come with open arms.

"We have to get you to the medical ward," Maia said urgently. Her lips were still kissing what seemed to be every square inch of my chest. "Your bruises are bad. You need rest. You nee-"

"I'm okay," I interjected, chucking lightly through the pain that bombarded from within. It took a lot within me not to hiss or cringe. But Maia read me like a book. She knew what I was feeling.

"I'm alright," I told her, this time quieter. "You don't have to worry any longer."

"I'll never stop worrying," she replied, "even when you're standing right in front of me."

"You never took me as the worrying type," I commented. Taking a lock of her hair, I tucked it behind her ear. She sighed, placing her hand against the palm of mine, resting. I let it drop; running down her arms, bringing her in close again. My lips found hers, hungry and wanting.

She kissed me again. I don't think she wanted to stop. "You're home," she whispered, "you're here."

"I am," I told her. "And I'm not going for a while . . . unless the General needs me."

We both chuckled. Maia brushed a hand through my hair. "I'm afraid she'll always need you," she sniffed, "I've realized now that I have to share you with everyone else here . . . You're all we've got – so it seems."

"No I'm not." I looked her straight in the eye. "Maia, I feel it. Something big is going to happen and it's just the beginning. When I was on that trip – I witnessed some things that should have been forgettable but now I can't and it almost feels like there's been an awakening." I squeezed her hands in mine. "Tell me you feel it. Cause if you don't then there's something seriously wrong with me."

We both grinned at one another nervously. Maia's eyes were still brimmed with tears but she nodded her head profusely, agreeing with my every word.

"Yes," she gasped, "yes. I believe you. I feel it. Every bone in me, I feel it." Another kiss. Another sigh. Another tight grasp. She wasn't going to let me go.

I wasn't going to let go of her.

"You're shaking." I pulled her away to look her over. Then again since I'd last seen Maia she had changed greatly. Gone was the fragile and defeated looking girl from Tatooine. She'd been replaced with a healthier glow – a fuller face, brighter skin, and bigger curves. Her eyes glowed – shined with her tears as she smiled widely. They weren't sad tears but joyous.

"N-nothing's wrong," she answered me, "you don't have to be worried." Her eyes met mine in a trance and held them. "I'm more than okay."

"Good," I replied.

"Yes," she repeated, "good."

It was then I remembered something – before I left. What I had been looking forward to all along on my trip. Really other than Maia herself, it was the one thing that kept me going. Midst the pain, the torture, the risky escape, the long journey back to Base and the constant worry throughout it all.

Now, was the time to know.

I took Maia's face into my hands smiling. She gleamed up at me – beautiful, wonderful; I smoothed my thumb against her skin, soaking in her warmth and light and peace.

My Maia.

In the beginning it was a mission to save her.

In the end it had been a mission to save me.

And she saved me alright. But she also brought me back.

She brought me home.

I took a breath, shaky but ready. 

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. THE LAST CHAPTER. JEEZ LOUIZE I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL:3
> 
> Remember! We've still got an epilogue:) 
> 
> I would like to say thank you to all who stuck with me through this story and there will be an acknowledgements page to thank some more, but in all honesty without you readers this story wouldn't even be here. So thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
> 
> Remember to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW AND ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS:) 
> 
> All the love, xoxo
> 
> Holly:)


	26. Maia

.: MAIA :.

 

"Shhh, shhh, shhh."

Afternoon lighting tore through the pale painted room, instantly shining on the smooth white wood of a crib. I hustled over to the crying figure lying in it.

"Mummy's here," I whispered, reaching down and gently pulling the little toddler up. "Oh hush now – we can't go on like this! We must be happy – for Daddy's on his way home now."

I walked towards the window, bouncing the baby in my arms. "You see there?" I pointed out the window towards the sky. "He's up there right now, saving the galaxy." I kissed the soft head of dark curls. "Daddy's our hero."

It had been some time after the fight with Poe in the hallway – upon arriving back at the Resistance from Tatooine – when I found out about the upcoming changes in my life. Physical to be exact.

I was pregnant.

It was odd. At first the news confused me – I couldn't raise a child. I didn't know one thing about learning to care for it. I lay in my bed for the longest time, dwelling and worrying about my situation after I'd found out. I'd really only just arrived to the Resistance Base. In eight months' time a child – a baby – would be brought into a world of violence . . . of pain and anguish. Did I want to go through with it?

I was scared. Terrified. Leia had known – she found out for herself without me telling her at all. I think she had been able to feel an addition – despite not using the Force she could easily channel it. Somehow feeling a new addition or baby happened to be one of those things too.

"You'll feel different. You'll start to look different," she told me with a reassuring smile. "But you'll be okay . . . Take it from me. When I found out, I was just like you – but then I'd realized that a little life was growing inside me. Half of me and half of the man I love. You'll realize how much love is possessed in you the minute the little one is placed in your arms. Nothing can come between a mother's love for their child."

Despite her words of comfort, I worried countlessly and continuously the first four months or so – even after telling Poe when he returned. I remembered him holding my face in the darkened room; he was nervous, voice shaking as he asked me what I had wanted to tell him for so long. When he'd been MIA I grieved over the idea of raising the child alone, without a father – a father who never got to find out because he was too stubborn and confident he'd return.

Of course he had. In a fragmented state.

It was when I took his hands from my face and led them with my own down to the small protruding bump on my stomach – just shy of two months along – that he realized the immensity of the news. There was no denying it. The both of us were terrified, but we knew by then that if we got through all we had so far, this would be another adventure of ours that we could trek on together.

He wanted to know everything after that. Who knew about us? Oh almost everyone on Base. Who knew I was pregnant? Leia and Matt. Matt? Yes, Matt. The kid was practically a saving grace when you were MIA! As far as I'm concerned make him the god-father! Good idea.

Though we made light of the plans, the both of us continued to worry. What was going on was merely the beginning. With the war that raged on between the First Order and Resistance, my thoughts scattered into those of a deranged worrier. I wanted to close my eyes and rid myself of the future – the fear that everything would go wrong. I wanted to wake up and think everything going around was just a bad dream or hallucination. I wanted everything to be okay so that I could have my baby in a safe world – a safe galaxy.

But not everything is deemed perfect. I knew that better than anything.

It wasn't until I felt the first little nudges – the little kicks – that I truly realized something divine and miraculous had happened. A baby. Growing inside me at the very moment. In all my years and sleepless nights on Tatooine, I had never dreamed of this. Frankly, I'd never thought about it.

Though the last few months were tiresome, I continued to work in the medical bay. I didn't want my situation keeping me from helping in any way I could. The First Order had destroyed the planet of D'qar and the events taking place after and following were of little peace. We were at war. And we would be at war for many years to come. With little of the Resistance left we found refuge on the planet of Chandrila. No matter what planet I was on – with Poe or not – it wasn't going to be safe. So hoping was how I coped. It was how I moved on and stayed strong. I hoped. I prayed. Especially for Poe and the Resistance fighters. After the destruction of Starkiller Base, few x-wing pilots came back. I feared the worst upon them arriving when I didn't see Poe. It wasn't until I saw one last x-wing in the sky and recognized the dark black color that I knew he was safe. Reuniting with him was almost unreal. The chances of him returning had been slim.

"I came back for you," he had said with a smile and wink. "And also for the little man too."

From the minute I found out I was pregnant, I knew I was going to have a son. I didn't understand how I knew this, but something had just told me. Maybe it was the Force, maybe it wasn't. All I'd felt was the little nudge that I was right. At first, Poe thought I was absurd and thought that I shouldn't assume anything or call it names until they arrived, but I believed it to be my motherly instinct kicking in. Eventually he agreed to my notions and beliefs.

Because of course I was right.

Atticus Simon Dameron arrived on a stormy and thunderous night on Chandrila. What an entrance he made! And five weeks early! I heard everyone on Base had been waiting outside the medical bay doors. Matt had made sure no one could get in – what a wonderful god-father he'd made. Poe and he were great comrades and friends. Matt had proven himself to be of great service and friendship, something Poe and I were deeply grateful for.

I was fairly calm until the last part. We'd been worried that since Atticus was five weeks early he would be breeched. But luckily he wasn't. Poe was supportive despite his racing nerves and he clutched my hand the whole way through, whispering words of encouragement and love. It was until I heard the small meek and feeble cry through ringing ears and blurred eyes that I attempted to lift my weak and sweaty body up to see the new life I'd brought into the Galaxy.

And there he was. So small and tiny. Five pounds and four ounces – presumed incredibly small for most babies at that age – but strong and mighty just like his parents. Dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin. My nose, Poe's cheekbones. My stubborn demeanor, Poe's gusty risk taking.

All ten fingers and toes. He was perfect.

Poe wouldn't let his son go. Tears cascaded down his cheeks. Even while I slept to recover, Poe wouldn't let anyone or anything else hold Atticus. He denied it, but he was too worried something would happen – and he didn't want to let Atticus go. He sat in the chair beside my bed in the ward until I woke and when it was finally safe for everyone else to meet the new addition to the Resistance family, Poe – like the proud father he was – showed his son off in the most happiest of manners.

"Maia." A knock on the door. I turned my head, breaking off from my memories and turned to greet Matt in the doorway. His hair was longer – his skin somewhat permanently tainted with oil and grease. Calluses were on his hands and darkened fingertips. "He's back."

My face broke out in a smile and I looked at Atticus who eyed his god-father in delight. "Atticus my love, did you hear that?"

His dark curls bounced as he turned to look at me, eyes lighting up.

"Daddy's back! Shall we go see him?"

I walked out of the room with Matt, holding Atticus in my arms. He was growing bigger by the day – almost a year old. I was starting to see more of Poe in him all the time.

The Resistance Base loading deck was crowded. Many x-wing pilots had gone off on a mission to aide some struggling planets in famine and drought. Though we too were on a budget, we couldn't let other worlds and peoples suffer alone.

Matt led us up the deck before leaving to work on some engines and mechanical appliances. I placed a kiss on his cheek, thanking him for his help as Atticus reached out to touch one of his pudgy hands to Matt, saying goodbye.

"See ya later little man," he smiled, and then went off.

I walked up the loading deck, greeting and saying hello to many of the pilots, workers and fighters along the way. It was hard to make out anything of significance. Not even the familiar black x-wing could be seen as I craned my neck to see higher above the others. My hair, which was now fairly longer, was tied up into a loose bun. Atticus' arms wrapped around my neck.

"Oi, look over there," I whispered smiling. I made Atticus look in the direction I was pointing. Out of the opening of a black x-wing top came a body draped in an orange uniform. The helmet slipped off the head, revealing the same head of dark curls. A familiar looking orange and white droid raced against the deck towards us beeping and bleeping in delight. Atticus tore his eyes away from the x-wing as BB-8 neared us. A cry of surprise escaped my son's lips as I knelt him down to greet the droid. I held him up on his two feet – already he was walking and taking his first steps. Although he was still fairly clumsy, he was learning quickly.

"Boopa!" Atticus' name for BB-8 had stuck ever since he first said it. He'd heard Poe and I time and time again call the droid by name but didn't have it in him yet to correctly say it. Still – the name would most likely stick for a long time, and BB-8 didn't seem to mind one bit.

"Hey little man!" A familiar voice broke the sound barrier of Atticus' attention to BB-8 and he raised his head up to notice that his father was coming down the walkway. A smile, wider than I'd seen in days spread across his chubby little cheeks as he reached one of his hands loose from my grip and pointed.

"Yes! That's Daddy!" I knelt down, holding him up at the waist. "Shall we show him just what you've been learning?"

Poe, sweaty and tired knelt down as well just about twenty feet away. He opened his arms up, causing Atticus to break free from my hold and start clumsily waddling down the loading deck. BB-8 followed behind, watching carefully at the toddler who was crossing feats of his previous learning to reach his father.

"C'mon buddy!" Poe urged his little boy further, "you're almost there! Just a few more steps!"

It was the sight to see. Not more than five steps and Atticus was tripping over his own feet and then his Dad was saving the day, rushing forward to catch his boy before he could hit the ground. Poe swooped him up, making the sound of an x-wing and Atticus cried out in happiness. Poe held him tight to his chest, lowering him down and pressing kisses all over his face. Atticus soaked in his father's love like a sponge, happy to see the pilot home. I watched from a distance, smiling as I took in the spectacle. Poe counted the same number of ten fingers and toes, taking note that nothing had change drastically about his son but the fact he was learning to walk.

"You're getting to be so big my boy!" Poe exclaimed, kissing Atticus' cheek again. "Look at you!" His attention then turned to me finally, brown eyes meeting mine in a trance that still seemed too shake my whole body. He always had a knack of making me nervous; butterflies in my tummy each time.

Poe came up the walkway with Atticus in his arms. He wore a smirk on his face – the same one Atticus was beginning to learn from him. Reaching me, Poe leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine.

"My wife." Just the title made me shiver like I did under his touch. He lingered for a few moments longer before pulling away to focus on his son. "Have you been good to your Mom?" He asked, tickling the boy's tummy. Atticus laughed, clapping his hands and turning red in the face.

"Dada!" He was speaking more clearly now, especially with things he recognized. Atticus ran a hand through Poe's hair, happy to see his Dad home. "Dada!"

"He's walking!" Poe cheered quietly to me. His eyes shone bright. I hadn't seen him this proud since he walked around with Atticus as a newborn – showing him off to everyone on Base.

I nodded my head profusely, biting my lip. "And he's talking more now too! Just earlier this morning I woke up to him repeatedly saying "Muma" from his room. Even knows BB-8! Calls him "Boopa" which is close enough."

Poe was completely enamored with Atticus. Putting the two together they looked the splitting image of each other. Every day was a new discovery with them both and whenever Poe left on his missions it was a joy to see Atticus mimic his father and imitate him in the tiniest of ways.

It was every once in a while when I saw the familiar instances and imitations of myself in my son. Maybe in seeing a butterfly in the meadow just behind the loading decks and building, I'd catch a glimpse of awe and wonder through his world that I'd do if it were me. Maybe it was in the way he would become quiet – listening and taking in everything around him for once. It was in the way he loved. No doubt he got it from Poe too but I saw Atticus give his love to everything and everyone – even the undeserving.

"When you leave," I finally said, causing Poe to look at me, "I see so much of you in him . . . It helps me cope. I don't feel like you've fully left me."

Poe bounced Atticus in his arm and wrapped his other around my waist, bringing me in again. He pressed his forehead to mine, a soft smile gracing his handsome features. It was the same look he gave me when I first met him – but not bloodied and beaten to a pulp by scavengers.

It was the same man – the same flesh and blood and bones but a different soul.

"I never really leave," Poe said, making me give him a confused look. He chuckled, glancing down at the ground before looking back up again. This time, more certain and positive about what he said.

"Remember that woman on Tatooine?" Poe asked, making me recall what he had experienced in the bar before finding me.

I nodded my head, perplexed but urging him to continue.

He almost always had a point.

"Well, she said something; and I know I told you it a dozen times but I don't think you were truly listening . . ."

"How on earth! Poe Dameron I listen to you all the ti-"

"She said you'd take all of me . . ." Poe licked his lips. "You'd take my heart; my flesh; my blood; my bones. She also told me that you'd be the reason I ran – but more importantly she said you'd be the reason I returned."

I couldn't contain the smile forming on my lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. Atticus let out a happy shout and we pulled away to see him grinning widely. He laughed, pointing at Poe who smiled, kissed his son's nose and then turned to me once more.

"See, Maia," I loved when he said my name, "I'll always return."

I didn't need to argue on that. He was right.

And there was one thing for certain – something Poe Dameron vowed to me since day one. Despite the fights, the chaos and the pain, he always stuck to his word.

He was a pilot after all.

And he would never leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that officially concludes the story of FLIGHT.
> 
> CAN. YOU. BELIEVE. IT.
> 
> I'd once again like to tell you all THANK YOU for sticking with me through this story. It has been an epic journey and one I've thoroughly enjoyed:)
> 
> I love you all and hope you liked the story of Poe and Maia - their's is one that will always be dear to my heart:)
> 
> VOTE. COMMENT. FOLLOW. ADD TO YOUR READING LISTS.
> 
> All the love, xoxo,
> 
> Holly:)

**Author's Note:**

> *PLEASE NOTE: This story will be taking place before the events of Episode VII "The Force Awakens". I'm creating this own plot and story from the ground up and can conclude that stuff will be inaccurate with Poe's timeline before the "Force Awakens" if he did have any important moments prior to the film. Finn, Rey and many of the "Force Awakens" characters won't be in it. Also, this is my first Star Wars story, so I politely ask you to keep rude or critical comments to yourself. Thank you very much.


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